Should anyone want to watch the worst film ever made and/or deliberately waste an hour of their lives....

[Talonz]

....then it has just started on Film 4.

Enemy Mine. About an astronaut and a male alien who collide in space and crash land on a planet. The male alien turns out to be pregnant and they co-exist on some hostile planet or other.

Really shite.

The only film I ever walked out of was Taxi with Queen Latifah

But at least it's entertaining! Ed Wood was a madman. You can have a laugh at his nonsense.

The Starling is about a woman dealing with the loss of a baby to SIDS, so there isn't even any scope for amusement within the terrible script and awful wooden performances from a lot of talented people who know better.

It's so desperately worthy and also crap. Not to mention the bloody weird behaviour from the bird; spectacularly unconvincing. Even as a clunky metaphor it sucks.

I did actually love Roma and cried buckets at the end, but it was a very slow burn. Glacial, even.

For sheer pretentious tedium that feels like it's never going to end, I offer Last Year at Marienbad. I saw this as a student when I was still at the earnest stage of thinking I had to try to like highbrow things and if I didn't enjoy them it must be my fault. By the time we came out of the Film Society screening of LYAM I'd thrown off that mentality. Low to middlebrow all the way for me since then!

Can I give you The Three Amigos….it was the second worst film I’ve ever seen at the cinema, followed by first place Star Trek The Motion Picture (1979) fell asleep, I was cold and bored.

Not seen Roma but I LOVED the other 3.
Tenet is seriously weird but is worth watching in a really big cinema just for the soundtrack

My contributions will be Hurt locker and all is lost.

Years ago I watched The Good Girl with a few friends. We all thought the others were really into it until the end when we all looked at each other wondering what on earth that was all about.

I didn’t enjoy it at all and won’t watch it again but I thought it was a remarkable piece of film making

Stardust Memories. Whatever else Woody Allen might have done, this film is terrible.

It’s the only movie I’ve ever seen where the whole audience booed loudly.

Has anyone seen the greasy strangler?

The Greatest Showman. Worst movie ever

I quite like Brad Pitt generally but the following were just awful

curious case of Benjamin button
meet Joe black

I walked out of the cinema during The Blair Witch Project. I've coughed up scarier stuff that that tripe...

I WAS in a really big cinema  @Clearinguptheclutter

In fairness I probably would've stayed but my friend said Can We Go? And I leapt at the opportunity!

There's a film that I think I'm the only person in the world to have seen called The Tit and the Moon where a man has erectile problems so instead of blowjobs his wife seductively eats a baguette from between his legs. And then they split up and there's a scene where she ceremonially buries a baguette at the beach.

30 years since I saw it and I still resent every minute.

Are you quite sure you haven't dreamt that?

Cats - my friend kept nodding off and I had to prod her awake every time. I would’ve left her but for her snoring…

Rubber

Or if you want really bad

Clownado

And yes I sat through both

I had to look that up.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tit_and_the_Moon

No mention of the baguettes, but still sounds awful.

Wikipedia gives a slightly different, but equally bonkers, plot outline.

It is a ‘continental’ art film, I suppose. They’re always shit on a stick.

I offer you 'Next' with Nicolas Cage and Jessica Biel. Wrong on so many levels. I fell asleep just to escape it.

I loved enemy mine but am old enough to have watched it when it was actually released so the bar wasn't that high

I see your enemy mine and raise you 'Valhalla Rising'. If you want a laugh, the reviews alone are worth a read. DH rented it one night back when it was a thing and we persevered though what was ultimately the worst film I've ever seen. At the end the only word I can use to describe how we felt was stunned

Two words. Bad Santa.

Don’t look up was pretty shite. Jennifer Lawrence play Jennifer Lawrence

I watched the film 'Men' about a year ago. Wish I hadn't bothered. I'd read great things about. It started off promisingly enough but just degenerated into farce about halfway through.