Hi OP I’m a GP and a single mother and I had to have an operation last year so I do totally understand (fortunately for me my parents who live in another part of the U.K. were able and willing to help, also my child is a teen now so not quite the same situation - still wouldn’t want to leave them overnight alone but much less of an ask at this age for a sleepover at a friend’s in a pinch etc.).
I particularly understand when you say that everyone always says to just ask if you need something but then when you actually do need something and pluck up all your courage to ask, people say no. Unfortunately I think many people just do not stop to think for a moment to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and don’t always understand that you wouldn’t be asking at all if you weren’t desperate, it’s not a casual request. Another single parent is actually most likely to be sympathetic and willing to help when you need it I have found. I did once offer to look after a fairly new school gate acquaintance’s child while she was in hospital having her second baby, as she was also a single mother who had fallen out with her mum last minute and had nobody else to ask, I had a lot on my plate then myself but couldn’t say no to helping someone in that situation for a night or two.
A week IS very short notice for an op and many people would struggle to make this work for many reasons. Did you tell them you were a single parent and would need a bit of notice to pull childcare together (never mind the dog which definitely complicates things too).
I think firstly you need to decide how urgent it is (could be just a cancellation appt being offered to you as you say if not clinically urgent), and whether you think it would be a total disaster to have to wait the potential 6 months originally quoted to have it done. If it’s a cancer operation I would move heaven and earth to make it work and jump at the chance to get in there ASAP. If it’s anti-reflux surgery, then it can wait safely enough till you’ve had more time to think it all through and come up with a plan ahead of time.
If it is urgent please do ask people and make sure you explain how urgent and important the surgery is. Ask your friends first if no family locally (at age 7 I think it’s no big deal if they go in to school an hour late or something for a couple of days over this sort of thing to allow for multiple kids drop offs etc), then after that ask parents of your child’s closest friends then I would ask on class WhatsApp groups, speak to school etc. I do think you need to decide ASAP if you can have this surgery or not and let them know either way within 24-48h if possible so that the slot does not get wasted and can be offered to someone else waiting if needed. Don’t dither til the last minute. Be brave and ask for help! And if everyone says no but the surgery is urgent then do contact social services, I know locally they would sometimes step in in these circumstances.
If it’s not urgent it’s totally ok to cancel if you want, especially at this stage as you’ve only just been informed of the date (though never use the word cancel when it comes to NHs appts! Say postpone or reschedule instead otherwise you run the risk of some admin person saying “the patient decided they didn’t want the surgery anymore and cancelled” and taking you off the surgery list. Which is more work for your GP as you need referred and puts you to the back of the queue again). People sometimes feel they can’t say it doesn’t suit with NHS appts, but the admin people will always just offer you the next appt on the list when it’s your turn if you don’t tell them it’s potentially a problem, if the truth is there is no real rush for this surgery and you’re likely to have it done within the year regardless then I would personally be tempted to call and tell them you simply can’t pull together the childcare in time as a single parent, and make sure they make a note that you need a decent notice period next time for this reason. But then ultimately you still have to ask people for the future and it’s better done sooner rather than later. Presumably you could put the dog in kennels for a few nights ok.