I am a narcissist

[ohyesido]

I am. But I'm not a horrible person.

I lack empathy but I've learned that it isn't nice to manipulate people.

Yet I still do, only in such a way that no one can ever really accuse me of it. Because I twist my words to indicate that I have everyone's best interests at heart.

Everything I do is calculated to ensure I get my own way while maintaining a facade of good intentions

Can anyone relate?

@Cottagecheeseisnotcheese

My answer to that question is, why even worry about that until it happens? I don't expect it will happen to me.

@ohyesido what about love? Do you feel as self diagnosed narcisstic you are capable of love?

It’s highly unlikely you’re a narcissist if you have the self awareness to address your behaviour.

You come over as having a sense of superiority that you are an arch manipulator and nobody sees through you. I bet they do and you are just so self absorbed that you don't realise it. Most narcs show their true colours at some point and people have their own intuition even whey they try to mask their personalities.

Maybe not relevant, perhaps, but I listened to a wonderful podcast a few years ago about a nurse who'd worked all her life as one and very successfully. She was a declared psychopath (in her words), and having reduced empathy actually helped her with her job.
Also watched an interview with Katherine Ryan (& Louis Theroux) similarities to this. Love her to bits for using that as a strength and standing up for the rest of us (i.e., giving Russell Brand a very, very hard time in public)..I really don't think you would be questioning it if you had full NPD though..x

I worked with someone who I am pretty certain is a narcissist and really as much as I know this is a word that gets thrown around lightly nowadays, I have never ever used this term before 1 year of working with her. I can safely say that myself and everyone who comes in contact with her either hate her or develop a very strong dislike towards her. She is very overt though. But the thing that singles her out is they SHE IS NEVER EVER WRONG, EVERYBODY ELSE IS ALWAYS. She would never even consider admitting to any fault no matter how glaringly obvious it is or how many people have complained and bought evidence against her. It will still never be her, she will be a victim of harassment, bullying etc.

She works in a very powerful job so that suits her. Really admitting you are a narc, probably means you're not. Maybe you're just a very single minded, stubborn and a bit manipulative. It's great that you can see that though even if you never want to change it.

Narcissists dont get a sense of well-being from helping people though. They are generally resentful of it - what they like is the praise and other people seeing them as being a great person.

Also true narcissists would never recongnise their faults so it's unlikely that's what you are.
More likely just selfish and nasty and lacking in empathy!

Just a hunch, but a suspect you’re not getting away with it as much as you think you are.

@Wonderi I don't have a wife. I have a very nice husband who loves me unconditionally. My son is a 25 year old good looking lad who has zero respect for anyone except himself and a very firm sense of self worth rooted in his firm belief that his mother will always be there for him no matter what. Im proud of him for not giving a fuck but also concerned about his zero consideration for others.

Diagnosed with NPD; that's a narcissist.

Otherwise you are just grandiose and self centred, perhaps?

If you do, you'll be told we ALL suck! You cared enough to post about the effect you have on people, so you don't fit the mould. Have you heard of the karpman drama triangle? Have a look at that.

Do you have friends ? All the narcissists I know are such hard work I've walked away ! Absolutely vile all of them ( that I've come across )

You would need to be seen multiple times by a Consultant Psychiatrist who would speak with you about your upbringing, background, current situation etc.

If it helps you feel better, you seem absolutely normal to me, don't worry!

Be honest, you're trying to manipulate us now aren't you? Into thinking you're more interesting than you actually are.

It sounds to me like you are a highly manipulative person without much natural empathy. But you have just enough emotional intelligence to get by and tbh I think an awful lot of people are just the same. What I like about you is that you own your own behaviours and motivations whereas the people who annoy me are those who think they are kind when they really aren't.

I'd definitely try and get your son some support though, he sounds like an arse!

@ChateauWhistler maybe so, but I got away with it for this long and who cares if they see through me? What are they going to do about it?

You may well have a different personally trait/disorder.

The one I strongly suspect doesn’t understand her situation at all. Doesn’t understand relationships- she can’t really manipulate because she doesn’t understand motivations very well- closeness. She emulates and is aspirational rather than anything else. She is envious of big close families while not wanting to do any of the ‘work’ that involves.

If you don’t care about anyone else then why the fuck should other people care about you and give you “recognition you deserve”?

Serious question.

OP, do you have any symptoms of emotionally unstable personality disorder?

Do you want to change? Would you like to feel empathy?

Even now I'm smirking that some PPs think they can make veiled digs about my self perception. You're just normal, bro you ain't special!

I kind of am tho

You are not as interesting and special as you think you are.

Besides you can usually tell a narcissist because of their relationships. These are usually dysfunctional and exploitative. They have no real friends, and enjoy ruining other people's lives.

I mean they can have great jobs, money etc but they literally have nothing behind the eyes but a mass of fear and total denial that there is anything different or wrong with them.

@Middlepiepush I kind of am though. I'm not responsible for your inference of my words

Yawn