Why do men post on mumsnet? Asking after another thread.

[Mrsredlipstick]

I'm posting after a few questions on other threads have been raised regarding male posters. (I'm not that bothered personally but I have been stalked and abused during my time on MN)
The frequency of posters being offended by males joining the debate is growing.
I only use three SM platforms so I know nothing of Reddit etc. The question is why do men want to post on mumsnet?
FWIW I wouldn't dream of posting on dadsnet. I also don't touch certain boards as they feel smutty.

@othermentions @billydavey

There you go.
A Friday bun fight awaits.

I think there’s a number of reasons. Some of us came here as we’re parents, single parents, parents of disabled children, and have found advice and support (and occasionally been able to offer that as well as take it)

mumsnet is also a very broad board, so you do find yourself drawn into threads on relationships, on politics, anything really.

i feel some posters do not want men on here and make that view clear, but the vast majority seem fine with it

No fighting here 😀

I actually agree with you and have expressed my opinion previously and got flamed for it 😁
It's mumsnet, bugger off over to dadsnet.
I really dislike comments that start with "dad here" or "from a male perspective."
If I wanted to listen to the opinions of men, I'd be on dadsnet.
Nowhere is sacred to women.
Men infiltrate everywhere, you just can't get away from the buggers.
I always wonder, when they're with their mates do they say "saw an interesting thread on mumsnet the other day"

I am absolutely delighted to see so many men joining the Sandie Peggie threads.

I have no issues with men using the boards if like others they are looking for advice/support/parenting info. When they start dismissing/minimising women's experiences a d start responses with "as a man" then try and impose their views on women having a perfectly fine conversation. I don't like it, I tell them that. I especially don't think men have a place on the feminism boards telling women how to think and feel.

How about a man posting for support because his partner has breast cancer; or a widower who needs childcare or school advice; or male pilots posting on Flightradar threads; or blokes asking for employment or legal advice; or they are having a nightmare chain in their house purchase saga, or they have an elderly parent with dementia; or tree surgeons offering their opinion on gardening threads; or men asking whether to carry on with veterinary treatment or put their pet to sleep; or - as might have been the case this afternoon, mechanics responding to a post asking about car maintenance?

We do get some men whose posting style is "Manly Man here to tell you why you are all wrong and I am right", but they are few and far between.

And you get perverts all over the internet, so we can hardly stop them anyway.

There us a v helpful poster who I understand to be male who posts on school admissions.

I don't really mind. But what I do object to, is the number of men who register here to just moan about their wives/girlfriends. Almost always it's because they're not getting the amount of sex they feel they deserve. And almost always, I'd argue, they're not here with genuine intent. It's about making the point that women are horrible to men.

(But what I hate even more are the handmaidens who fall over themselves to be sympathetic and completely fail to realise the real agenda behind the posts).

I do swerve the posts from men, the ones I have seen are usually focused on sex and why they should be getting more of it

Oh, and I hate the men who registered here to just get their jollies on the sex topic.

Do you feel the same about women who don’t have children posting here?

Because despite its name, it's a board for parents, by parents.

Personally I appreciate it when a someone posting here identifies himself as a man. I don't see it as 'here I am to solve your little problems' I see it as a courtesy on a board where most people are mums.
People would soon complain if they discovered that a poster that they thought was a mum, was actually a man. He'd then be accused of deliberately hiding the fact.

Dads are entitled to post here, but they generally can't do right for doing wrong when they do. They'll be criticised whatever they do or say, despite, presumably, being among the more involved of dads.

Oh Mr Davey have you not debated post 8pm on a Friday night? I suggest a tin hat.

@Billydavey "I think there’s a number of reasons"

There are. Some of the reasons are obviously sensible and legitimate of course. Some of them less so. A desire to mansplain on a wider platform. A desire for cookies from women. A desire to stop women having anything of their own. For example. Oh, and using a place that provides information and support as a parent without having to do anything to set it up.

New dads wanting parenting advice? Fair enough. Young, single men wading into discussions about female concerns? WHY.

I'll never forget the thread about egg freezing being hijacked by a man who thought we gave a fuck about his two cents.

I joined years ago when I became a lone parent and the advice I got here was invaluable. I've tried to pay that back with advice on things that I know about. What keeps me coming back here is 1) there's a lot of very smart and funny posters here, and 2) Mumsnet HQ has always made it clear that men are welcome. Well, tolerated anyway.

Sometimes it seems appropriate to respond to a thread and make it explicit that I'm a bloke as without that context my reply might not make much sense. I used to have an ambiguous username but changed it for much the same reason.

I don't think that's an analogy at all.
Women, whether they have children or not, share a vast number of experiences which men never experience.

I didn't do anything to set up Mumsnet, either. Should I leave?

A man helped set up Mumsnet and it's by parents for parents... Not by mums for mums..

"Oh but it's called Mumsnet..."

Yes and Amazon is called Amazon, yet you don't have to live in the jungle ..

Reddit is called Reddit.. but it's not actually red.

The Sun is called the Sun but it doesn't burn your eyes out reading it... Just melts your brain..

Vauxhall mokka turbo.. well, who knows.

I’m not sure many of us posting on here had anything to do with setting it up but that doesn’t mean we can’t post. We should take advice, and contribute by giving it too sometimes.

You only have to look at how often someone posts about a relationship problem with their female partner to have everybody assume the OP is male and have a right go at 'him', only for the OP to have to come back and say actually they are female too and it is a lesbian relationship.
Everyone then falls over themselves apologising for their mistake.
But it just shows that there are a lot of posters on MN who will take every opportunity to lay the boot in to anybody they think is male, when they wouldn't have done so, or given the same opinion on the thread, had they known from the start that the OP was also female.

It's not men posting that is the problem. It's men thinking their maleness is what makes them right. Never do you see "as a woman".... It's a power thing.

No. It’s not at all comparable. Men entering women’s spaces make it a men’s space eventually. Not so with your example.

I've got a guy posting on my eBay bra post today wanting me to model them, can he come round and pick them up etc. pervs are everywhere.