Why do men post on mumsnet? Asking after another thread.

[Mrsredlipstick]

I'm posting after a few questions on other threads have been raised regarding male posters. (I'm not that bothered personally but I have been stalked and abused during my time on MN)
The frequency of posters being offended by males joining the debate is growing.
I only use three SM platforms so I know nothing of Reddit etc. The question is why do men want to post on mumsnet?
FWIW I wouldn't dream of posting on dadsnet. I also don't touch certain boards as they feel smutty.

How did their stalking present itself if you don't mind me asking?

There was a bloke years ago who popped up offering IT advice to us laydees and had his arse handed to him. I think the line that made me wee was something like “Thank goodness you’re here, I’ve been mashing the keyboard with my tits”

Because (some) men just love invading women's spaces, whether they're real or virtual. They get a kick out of it.

It started with every post being answered immediately, I was constantly challenged. I do post daily on a particular thread. It's a form of diary for me. Then there was a lot of mirroring which was very odd. A lot of the content was mum centric. I felt I couldn't contribute anymore. I then went out IRL and this person read out my MN posts. He was particularly vicious.
I changed my name, reported the posts and he was blocked I believe. But who knows.

I remember that! 😅

I didn't know there was a dadsnet! I'm off for a stalk. 😂.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Mumsnet advertises itself as a parenting website, not a women’s rights forum.

Oh I'm mixed on this.

I like the fact it's mum dominated, then woman dominated ... with some non parents and some men.

Seems a rare thing that. As women are discredited so often, and as mothers more so...

I often roll my eyes and get pissed off at the male posters, and yes loads of creeps and pervs (everywhere). But that said, I have posted on things where I want male thoughts and opinions as men are baffling to me mostly. I guess it's a skewed sample on here as most men don't use MN, but on balance I think it's ok that some are. I've chatted in PM with a few men and not once has anyone overstepped the line even when we've touched on... dare I say it, 'not enough' sex!!! And I say that as a raging old school Milly Tant that can't stand most of the filthy buggers.

@snoopfroggy very funny. We call our DD Milly Tant with her fabulous female rights and docs.
Agree on filthy buggers too. Luckily my DH is fine.

@Digdongdoo
Why do you think the name is so irrelevant?
Because MN is so much more than being a mum. It covers a vast amount of topics that are not exclusive to mums. Anyone can be interested in the topics about films gardening books, weight training, recipes, holidays, music etc.

Why does a man see dadsnet and think mumsnet is a better fit for him?
I have no idea you would have to ask one.

Because (some) men just love invading women's spaces, whether they're real or virtual. They get a kick out of it.

Mn isn't a women's space though. It's a public forum.
I do agree that some men do invade women's space though . The ones I've seen do this are either attention seekers or creeps, usually both though.

Usually I don't know if it is a male or female on a post unless they specifically say so, I just take each thread and post as I find it.

I post fairly frequently without advertising that I am a man. My kids have SEN and I have had a lot of experience with the EHCP system. I started reading that forum and still mostly (but not exclusively) comment to try to help people there. Hope that helps

I think in all fairness Google will pull up mumsnet threads if anyone is researching specific topics.

It's a chat forum available to anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️
All are welcome as it should be

This.

I don’t mind if they are asking about parenting etc, just as long as they are not coming here to get info so they can tell their wife / partner who to do it better.

it really pissed me off when they come to look for validation under the guise of advice. Esp on the sex threads where they are a huge nuisance.

A lot of the time it’s really obvious when it’s a male poster . Men have so little idea of what it’s like to be a woman , they are generally pretty useless at pretending .

Try selling your shoes! Same thing with messages on EBay. Pitiful

Men have always posted on Mumsnet, which is of course fine because this is a site for parents.

HOWEVER in recent years and increasingly and alarmingly in recent months, the number of new posters claiming to be men and making goady, misogynistic, violent comments on threads has just gone up and up and up. The incels and Tate fans and TRAs have discovered Mumsnet and will not let it alone, can't stand allowing women to have their conversations in peace. It's horrible to witness, but oh so predictable.

Because Dadsnet is so dull.

That was just the first example that came to mind. I could come up with a dozen others, not least because I first joined here when my DCs were still at primary school and they're in their 20s now.

But there are many others where I was responding to people who were struggling and I felt it important to make it clear where I was coming from. I've dealt with having to co-parent with an alcoholic, having to deal with social services because of that, having to try to help my DCs through the death of their mother... All of those things I've tried to offer advice to posters here about and every single time I've thought "Would it make a difference if the person I was responding to found out I was a man?" And if I thought that could be the case then I made it clear.

I'm not denying that there are male posters on mumsnet who wade in and do the cringeworthy "As a man..." schtick as if that gives their words some extra weight. All I'm trying to say is that it's not always the case and sometimes it's simply because we're either trying not to make people feel like they've been deceived, or not to make a post that simply wouldn't make sense if you had assumed I was a woman.

I recall a thread many many years ago about the same topic where one of the posters suggested that every man on mumsnet should have a cock-and-balls icon next to his username on every post.

Because when I was looking for parenting advice mumsnet was the best and advertised itself as being open to both mothers and fathers. I tried a number of men-specific ones but they were either "my ex is an absolute bitch and stops me seeing my kids", or pretty much ghost-towns where you get sporadic posts along the lines of "our children are called Tarquin and Guinevere and we knit our own muesli".

Well then perhaps men ought to put more effort into those forums? Instead of co-opting female dominated ones? Why is the easiest choice to come to women for advice rather than seek out or build a likeminded male community?

I don't have an issue with men posting - but have a huge issue with those who only post on threads relating to sex, porn etc

I do think sometimes the 'male view' is sometimes necessary and least for me, appreciated.

A good example are the impotence/asexual DH posts. Women can guess, but only a man will know. It's very evident when MN jumps to the 'death grip' reason. I have male gay friends who have literally been with thousands of men, and they haven't heard of it, let alone encountered it!

I've noticed MN will collectively jump to the worst-case scenario with boyfriend/husband problems. Saying (random example) that a man going quiet MUST be cheating, is akin to a man saying a grumpy woman MUST be that time of the month.

Well then perhaps men ought to put more effort into those forums? Instead of co-opting female dominated ones? Why is the easiest choice to come to women for advice rather than seek out or build a likeminded male community?
Why have more forums when there already is a public one with generic topics for everyone?
If you want a female only one maybe look out for sites that meet your need.
Mn has always been open to everyone certainty since I joined in 2003.

It's not "more forums". They already exist. They just need to use them. Why can't one single male dominated site provide parenting advice for men? And given they can't manage it on the rest of the internet, why would you invite it here?