Why do men post on mumsnet? Asking after another thread.

[Mrsredlipstick]

I'm posting after a few questions on other threads have been raised regarding male posters. (I'm not that bothered personally but I have been stalked and abused during my time on MN)
The frequency of posters being offended by males joining the debate is growing.
I only use three SM platforms so I know nothing of Reddit etc. The question is why do men want to post on mumsnet?
FWIW I wouldn't dream of posting on dadsnet. I also don't touch certain boards as they feel smutty.

I bet women would probably use that phrase if they posted on a board that was 95% men though.

Perhaps. But that's irrelevant, since we are talking about mumsnet not other places.

Lots of them seem to be here to post on the sex board or hang around the relationship board to post on threads relating to sex. I know there may be nice men here, but the many, many bad ones I’ve seen posting here really do put me off and leave me feeling like I’d rather men didn’t post. So many start a thread sounding ok but the mask often slips.

No way on God's green earth would men say I read.... On mumsnet. My DH & DS think it's one of the circles of hell!

I post under another name on the alcohol board. I've been there for years but at times have to step away due to the unwanted contact I've attracted. MN have closed it down quickly but sometimes female issues are just that.

Back when my DD needed to get her first bra and I made a post asking for advice, do you think it would have been better if I hadn't made it clear I was a man?

@saraclara "I didn't do anything to set up Mumsnet, either. Should I leave?"

I hesitated about that one, I have to say! What I meant was that most women posters give and receive. It's a dynamic place. In my experience men are less likely to do that. But I accept that reason might be problematic. The others stand, though.

In my experience, men always come here to post about their marriage. Their wife isn't having sex with them as often as they would like, and they want us to agree with them how awfully unfair it is of her, and suggest ways they can get her to have more sex with them.

Would you ask me the same question because I am child-free woman, but am active on MN?

I like your posts @HowardTJMoon.

@saraclara "I bet women would probably use that phrase if they posted on a board that was 95% men though."

They probably would. They'd be being dicks too.!

My husband is an expert in his field and only posts here when people are scared and seeking reassurance from someone who genuinely knows. He says he stays away otherwise as he feels he's intruding on our space. He just waits for me to signal someone needing help.

Because men like women to do the emotional labour for them in all areas of life and don't mind which spaces they invade, or who they make uncomfortable in order to get that labour.

I quite like the fact men post here. I mean if you want to know why men do things then surely only a male poster can help us get the 'male perspective'. Perhaps we don't like the answers but if that is how men think then getting their take on it is helpful. Obviously I'm excluding any that have posted any weird stuff (like the poster above who posted a bra thread and got weird male input).

The normal men though - yip keep posting. If i want to know why my partner cheated a male prospective is much more informing than a female one.

Came for the parenting advice, stayed for the education I was getting on other topics.

Can’t honestly say I’ve seen any of those posts you refer to?

However 80% of posts are from
women moaning about their partners/husbands and many of those really annoy me so…plus the man-hating women whose single purpose is to ensure the man is blamed for anything and everything.

but then is that not a sensible thing to do. You want more sex with your wife so get a female view on it and see if they have suggestions on what male poster can do to improve the relationship.

I mean if I wanted my male partner to do something and didn't know how to achieve it then yes I might ask a male for their advice.

It's relevant because you brought up intent, which you are as a power play. I don't. I see it as identifying ones self honestly when your sex is likely to be assmed erroneously.

You wouldn't assume a power play if a woman used the phrase on a majority male board.

@Sherararara Probably because they get deleted quite quickly, as many of them are obvious trolls.

I can assure you though that there are plenty of them. You can generally recognise them (apart from the 'poor me I'm not getting enough sex' stuff) because they only have one thread.

ah he sounds lovely. Tell him thank you

No, I wouldn't. Because the power dynamics or not the same.

However 80% of posts are from
women moaning about their partners/husbands

Ha! Exactly! Women can moan/seek advice about their husband, but men can't do the same about their wives.
And if men are going to, I'd rather they come here than to an angry blokes' forum. At least this way they're interested in getting advice from people who see their wife's perspective, too.

I’ll be completely frank: I think it takes a certain type of man to see the community here, built by women, with women posting and conversing and generally engaging with the issues that impact their lives, who then thinks: yeah, I’m going to wade into that.

I appreciate many won’t share my view, but that is how I perceive it. And that’s before I consider the ‘man here’, perverts and provocateurs. I’m talking about the men who think they’re using the site ‘right’.

I've noticed an increase in postings by men too, and some not in the UK which can make giving advice difficult. There was a man asking about splitting up and i think he was in Canada so UK divorce rules mean nothing to him.

As an aside I found a horrid website - had the name dads in it - and basically all the posters were on there asking / advising how single dads could reduce their child maintenance. I don't even receive child maintenance and it made me feel used.

Totally agree. Men are on the whole…viewed as total scum on this site. I actually feel sorry for the men spoken about in a lot of posts created by women. I actually find myself siding with the men much of the time. I suspect I’m in the minority though.

Although when it’s a thread about a current partners ex wife, and inevitably what a bitch she is, the standard narrative changes.

That's somewhat of an outlier, and frankly a post I would think redundant in 2025, in the age of google an online shopping. You were also not asserting an opinion, so not overly relevant to what I said. But hey, you've done it now anyway - now I know you're a man for no apparent reason.