Do you know anyone that is gay but has just never said?

[Bingoooboo]

I work in healthcare and I’ve had a few cases where I’m sure they are partners but they’ve introduced as ‘friends’. Mostly older people. As a gay woman that makes me so sad. I sometimes wonder if there has been anyone else in my family whose gay but has never came out

There are ways of giving them the option to say it if they want to though.

I keep reading posters (one in particular) mentioning gay couples living together and how "sad" it is and not the "norm" to not be open with everyone about the true nature of their relationship. That might be easy for a younger couple today and thank god it is, but my friend and his partner, both late 60s, grew up in a time where homosexuality had only just been legalised. They grew up watching TV programmes where the only male gay figures were comedic ones who were subject to ridicule (for example, Mr Humphreys in Are You Being Served). Their parents and older relatives would have been shocked to learn their son was gay. Yes, it's wrong and it's awful and everyone should be free to live their lives without judgement but I can completely understand why my friend and his partner have chosen to just describe themselves as just good friends.

@Kay67 It is still sad.

@JoyousGreyOrca To you maybe, but they both seem very happy.

@Kay67 You are saying they feel they can not be open because of the homophobia they have experienced. How could it be anything but sad?

@JoyousGreyOrca It's not sad because they have a very happy life together. They've been together many years, have a beautiful home, great holidays, lots of friends who adore them. If they don't want to openly declare the true nature of their relationship, then that's their business. It would be sad if they felt forced to "come out" to people.

Don't you see that your example is exactly the opposite and thus disproves your point?

Straight people who aren't in a romantic relationship telling the truth that they aren't in a romantic relationship despite society making assumptions that they are and in doing so giving overt approval to such a relationship

Or just lying about a relationship at the very start because they aren't ready yet to declare it to anyone but with the expectation that they will if the relationship continues.

Is completely different to gay people who are in a romantic relationship feeling as if they have to lie and hide it forever because they are afraid of the disapproval of society

(Society being their friends, family or wider)

The first might be mildly annoying but it's not the same as the second. People might tease opposite sex friendships but they don't face active discrimination. Opposite sex friendships aren't illegal in multiple countries. There's no "friendaphobia".

I merely replied to the assertion that straight people never lie that they are just friends. I never compared people being teased to homophobia!

However, there definitely are countries where opposite sex friendships aren't really possible or are even illegal because women can only closely interact with other women or a male family member. That's not to say that it's the same as homophobia.