Do you know anyone that is gay but has just never said?

[Bingoooboo]

I work in healthcare and I’ve had a few cases where I’m sure they are partners but they’ve introduced as ‘friends’. Mostly older people. As a gay woman that makes me so sad. I sometimes wonder if there has been anyone else in my family whose gay but has never came out

Yes, several, but all now in their 60s/70s so from an older generation. None younger than 60.

One of my senior colleagues is almost certainly gay. He's just over 30 and has never had a girlfriend and is rather effeminate. It must be hard being on your own all the time.

That's me too. And why I'm not out at work. I don't want to be associated with the ridiculous rainbow alphabet people.

Plenty! I worked for a church, a very liberal one, and many of my older single gentlemen would say they were a "bachelor" and a few women would say they were "spinsters" this actually was code for gay but not in a relationship, they were uncomfortable saying that word even. They found it incredibly amusing that my generation and younger were so accepting and gradually i would be told tales of their younger selves navigating a world that wasn't accepting, many came of age before decriminalisation. I found it quite upsetting that they had to live a lie but at least they lived to see change and they took a lot of comfort in that the youngsters could be so open and free - the service we held for pride in 2019 was amazing, so many older people there, some were "out" in public for the very first time

has it occurred to you that people being out and loud about it, ie protesting, is why it's legal for you to have sex (if you're a man, I think lesbian sex was unregulated), a partner, and get married?
Edit: doesn't mean you have to be out at work, that's your choice, but maybe think twice before disparaging those that are

It wasn’t the current LGBTQIA2S++ people who did that, despite what Tumblr says!

I guess it depends where you live. Our local travelodge has rooms for £30 a night in January, but can go up to £200 a night peak season.

Err, obviously not just that. It was just one tiny little thing that happened to give something of a hint in this case. I'm very respectful in my post to their memory - they were very nice guys who were very private about one aspect of their lives. I think it might not be a bad thing for you to be able to do the same by replying respectfully

One of my oldest friends is gay. Came out at 20 ( 1986). Really never saw the need to broadcast her sexuality wider. Literally 30 years later she was "cut off" by her mothers Catholic side of the family, when they finally worked it out.

Correct!

Well some of them are still alive, some are not (how many died of AIDS?). But it's all more fragile than some seem to think. The people who got gay marriage and sex etc legalised were not the people who didn't want to make a fuss or be "too obvious". Gay marriage has only been legal in the UK for a little over a decade. It's a rather privileged position now, in fact, to pretend that now gay people can get married, there's no issues and we can all just quieten down and "be normal"

And look what they did to Stonewall...

What if they're married to the opposite sex?

Thanks for the smile.

I kind of have the opposite. I am attracted to men, but never met any who were right for me in a relationship. So I have been happily single for many years and am not really bothered about dating. I think a lot of people think I am a closeted lesbian. Does not really bother me, but its quite funny sometimes.

My family say do what makes you happy im bi best of both worlds my sister is gay and many more in the family tree.
None in our family are against anyone being gay we have men and women that are gay family and friends.
I went to my cousins wedding not long ago it was amazing day him and his husband looked fab.
But no we welcome all.

I like to think this isn't an "oops, wrong thread" situation, but that @HellofromJohnCraven genuinely believes that the cost of hotel rooms has an impact on how likely people are to be openly gay.

I'm sure there's a logical link there, somewhere...

It’s definitely an Oops Wrong Thread, not a thinly veiled homophobic insult. There’s a thread about living in a Travelodge.

Wasn't that the point?

I know a 40 odd woman who's been in same sex relationships since her teens but isnt out at work and won't buy a 'girlfriend' card in a shop.

My best male friend. He had many casual girlfriends years ago, but never seemed totally happy with them, told me he'd never had sex with any of them, just enjoyed going on dates, someone to go out to dinner with etc. Then he made a new male "friend" at the health club he goes to. He couldn't stop talking about him, he was obviously besotted but always spoke about him as just a friend. He's lived with him now for over 20 years, it's obvious to everyone they are a couple but they never actually say it, always refer to each other as friends but it's obvious they are a couple (I've stayed over and they share a room). His parents and family/friends have guessed and no one has a problem with it, it's just never mentioned. We talk about them as a couple e.g. Are Peter and Adrian coming? I don't think he'll ever make an "announcement" and I don't really see why he should, it's not necessary.

Not declaring, and hiding the fact, are two very different things.

@MiamiWindMachine
I would think telling family at a reunion is a bit attention seeking.
Why would your aunties, granny need to know you like men and women?
I have a gay DD and she has no interest in the LBTQ community as she finds so much of it cringey & attention seeking.

Oh, you’re from the “But why do they neeeeeeed to know?” crowd. Tells me all I need to know.

It’s interesting to see that there’s bigotry and judgement within the gay community as well as towards it. At least based on your daughter’s reaction.