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Original poster

WWYD - son due to go on holiday tomorrow (inc. 2 days off school) but has been given saturday detention

329 replies

lechatnoir · 05/02/2025 12:27

So we were due to take a long weekend holiday with our DC this weekend in part to celebrate a joint big birthday (DS 16 and my 50th) but also as a treat for DS working hard revising for his mock gcse which have just finished (lots of students still doing exams which is why we felt he wouldn't be missing too much). There was one optional subject he's really struggled with but school wouldn't let him drop. I was disappointed they wouldn't just let him drop it but OK with him drawing a line on that subject as he has 9 others and it was an option and accepting he'd fail one but use the time to focus on the other subjects.

However, I've just had an email from school saying he has been given a saturday detention & will face 'further consequences to be determined' for defacing one of his papers with disrespectful & obscene language (I've seen it and it's awful). There will clearly be consequences at home but of course in the immediate he's due to go on holiday which is hardly a punishment! It feels so wrong to still treat him with a holiday not to mention we had planned on telling school we were taking him away so they will no doubt be furious too given this incident.

I'm not cancelling the whole trip but can't leave him home alone & that would be massive to leave a child behind and miss a family holiday!

WWYD?

OP posts:
FenellaFeldman · 05/02/2025 19:42

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 05/02/2025 12:44

A note on an exam paper?

Show quote history

😂😂

Cremeeggtime · 05/02/2025 19:42

Diomi · 05/02/2025 19:27

I would go away and tell the school he’ll do his detention another Saturday. Defacing exam papers can get you disqualified by the exam board but it is a very common form of teenage protest. It would be better if he left it blank rather than writing obscene language, but teenagers don’t always make good choices. They should probably let him drop the subject if that was the one he defaced.

Well that's what he wants, so it would be rewarding his behaviour.

FenellaFeldman · 05/02/2025 19:46

Did he say why he defeaced the paper like that? Just for the hell of it? Was the offensive language for the benefit of the teacher marking it?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

16 year olds Families General education
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/02/2025 20:03

Quite frankly I just wouldn’t care, I’d be going on my holiday and he can face what ever punishment the school decided upon our return.

He’s made it very clear he does not want to do that subject and although he should not have doddled inappropriately on the mock paper, the school can punish him on our return and not encroach on our limited and personal family time.

Kids are killing each other in school, kids mental health are the highest they’ve ever been with limited resources to help.

Kids are committing suicide due to exam pressure and having anxiety attacks , he’s being forced study a subject he absolutely hates due to a draconian system.

Im lucky, ds2 was forced to take RE as he dropped a language, in lieu for another subject due to the timetable set up.

He will likely fail RE or at best get a 4/5 , he’s simply told the school you forced me down this route, I don’t have to comply with it, so he attends lessons , scribbles on paper and just attends the lessons with little to no input.

He is set to get 7/8/9 in all other subjects, I’m more than happy with this.

<sorry for the multiple edits, my phone keeps crashing on me>

LlynTegid · 05/02/2025 20:04

Thank you of updating us OP. I'd have no xBox for a lot longer.

Diomi · 05/02/2025 20:05

Cremeeggtime · 05/02/2025 19:42

Well that's what he wants, so it would be rewarding his behaviour.

Show quote history

He is a 15/16 years old, not a toddler or a puppy.

Wafflesandsyrup · 05/02/2025 20:25

Surely schools can't demand your child comes in on a Saturday?

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 05/02/2025 20:26

Goodness just ban him
for his x box for a week or something. It’s his 16th birthday are you really going to cancel. In the grand scheme of things he didn’t hurt anyway, go into school with a knife .
keep it in perspective he’s 16 and probably raring to get out of school.

pollyglot · 05/02/2025 20:32

FFS...thank the Lord I'm no longer a teacher. "Scribbles on paper"?WTAF? "Disrespectful and obscene language"? Even darling doting little mama describes it as "awful". So he gets a holiday after such disgraceful behaviour. "As a treat" for working hard? That's what kids are supposed to do if they wish to have a half-reasonable future!! You can't expect "treats" in future from your employer for working hard, and all this is doing is building a sense of entitlement. I can't stand parents with this sort of diminishment of their kids' utterly inappropriate behaviour. Doting mama should be insisting on her darling wee lad's writing a grovelling apology note.

HellofromJohnCraven · 05/02/2025 20:33

I would tell school. Sorry but unbreakable plans. Agree with punishment but can't leave him at home.
Have holiday, enjoy holiday
Think of appropriate punishment. Remove tech/curfew/personal and meant apology to staff member/ followed up in writing/school detention.
Do not deviated from punishment.

Saggyknickers · 05/02/2025 20:34

pollyglot · 05/02/2025 20:32

FFS...thank the Lord I'm no longer a teacher. "Scribbles on paper"?WTAF? "Disrespectful and obscene language"? Even darling doting little mama describes it as "awful". So he gets a holiday after such disgraceful behaviour. "As a treat" for working hard? That's what kids are supposed to do if they wish to have a half-reasonable future!! You can't expect "treats" in future from your employer for working hard, and all this is doing is building a sense of entitlement. I can't stand parents with this sort of diminishment of their kids' utterly inappropriate behaviour. Doting mama should be insisting on her darling wee lad's writing a grovelling apology note.

Did you not learn to read when you were a teacher?

Op has already stated she is going to do just that and have it hand delivered by him tomorrow. 🙄

FenellaFeldman · 05/02/2025 20:35

It's obvious that you're genuinely horrified by his behaviour and lack of respect, and want to work with the school, which is good. I think your update indicates a positive response.
He's obviously been pushing boundaries a bit, with the chat and messing around. Hopefully he'll reflect on what went wrong here.

Nurse08 · 05/02/2025 20:36

Why is the detention on a Saturday? Does he have Saturday schooling as a rule?
Usually, would be an hour after school in the week

Original poster
lechatnoir · 05/02/2025 20:38

I have zero issue with the Saturday detention - it has the desired impact of disrupting their down time. He will have to get up early and walk there as there's no school bus (obviously) but hopefully an hour walk each way will give him some thinking time!

OP posts:
echt · 05/02/2025 20:40

Fucked up. Made a mistake. He didn't hurt anyway (anyone?), just gone awry, stuff like this is so trivial.

So many minimising comments on what the OP said was "awful".

echt · 05/02/2025 20:41

Nurse08 · 05/02/2025 20:36

Why is the detention on a Saturday? Does he have Saturday schooling as a rule?
Usually, would be an hour after school in the week

In schools I've worked in wth Saturday detentions, they are an escalation of seriousness and taken by HT/deputy HT level.

pollyglot · 05/02/2025 20:45

Saggyknickers · Today 20:34

pollyglot · Today 20:32
FFS...thank the Lord I'm no longer a teacher. "Scribbles on paper"?WTAF? "Disrespectful and obscene language"? Even darling doting little mama describes it as "awful". So he gets a holiday after such disgraceful behaviour. "As a treat" for working hard? That's what kids are supposed to do if they wish to have a half-reasonable future!! You can't expect "treats" in future from your employer for working hard, and all this is doing is building a sense of entitlement. I can't stand parents with this sort of diminishment of their kids' utterly inappropriate behaviour. Doting mama should be insisting on her darling wee lad's writing a grovelling apology note.

Did you not learn to read when you were a teacher?
Op has already stated she is going to do just that and have it hand delivered by him tomorrow. 🙄

Rather than choosing to sink to the ad hominem, saggy, could you not have simply said "Did you not read the whole thread?" Because no, I didn't..it being a glorious summer morning and my having just come in from the garden, and all. Did you not notice that I was commenting also on other posters' remarks?

And in response to your question, yes, I actually learned, before I was a teacher, not when, and then taught students, with amazing GCSE/A Level results, how to read in five different languages. Are you ok with that?

JustCuttinAboot · 05/02/2025 20:52

MakemineanAmericana · 05/02/2025 19:18

It sounds as though you are making good use of the two exam study days where your child doesn't have mocks,

@JustCuttinAboot I don't see anything in her posts about there being study days. These are usually only for the actual exams- not mocks.

The son doesn't have exams but he's still expected to be in school- hence the dilemma.

I think you have quoted the wrong person.

Cremeeggtime · 05/02/2025 20:56

Diomi · 05/02/2025 20:05

He is a 15/16 years old, not a toddler or a puppy.

Show quote history

your response makes zero sense

MsAnnFrope · 05/02/2025 22:00

pollyglot · 05/02/2025 19:02

Read only page one, but I'm disgusted by this brat.Had any of my DC done this, they would have had the paint stripped off them. No way should he have time off school for a birthday treat, he should be made to apologise to the staff member...he has to learn respect and to follow rules. Not one person so far has mentioned the staff member who has to give up weekend time to "man" the detention, either, since parents have decided that he will do it some other time of their choosing, and inconvenience someone else. Detentions are intended to teach a lesson. Really pisses me off that parents are so cavalier in their treatment of the people who are doing their best to make their students into decent human beings, while parents excuse their little darlings' lack of consideration and manners.

maybe You should change your username to Agatha Trunchbull.

ifelttheearth · 05/02/2025 22:31

I'd tell school that you have a pre-arranged commitment on Saturday that you simply cannot get out of and, unfortunately, detention will need to be another time!

Copperoliverbear · 05/02/2025 23:00

Id say sorry he can't do it this week we are not around, you will have to make it another week.
I would not ruin my holiday.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 05/02/2025 23:28

Thanks @JustCuttinAboot yes I think @MakemineanAmericana misunderstood what I was meaning. While not study leave, the normal timetable isn't in force so there must be some sort of study / revision timetable happening. It's not teaching towards the exams so I'd be a bit less anxious about a pupil missing lessons as their mocks are done.

pollyglot · 06/02/2025 00:34

MsAnnFrope · Yesterday 22:00

pollyglot · Yesterday 19:02
Read only page one, but I'm disgusted by this brat.Had any of my DC done this, they would have had the paint stripped off them. No way should he have time off school for a birthday treat, he should be made to apologise to the staff member...he has to learn respect and to follow rules. Not one person so far has mentioned the staff member who has to give up weekend time to "man" the detention, either, since parents have decided that he will do it some other time of their choosing, and inconvenience someone else. Detentions are intended to teach a lesson. Really pisses me off that parents are so cavalier in their treatment of the people who are doing their best to make their students into decent human beings, while parents excuse their little darlings' lack of consideration and manners.

maybe You should change your username to Agatha Trunchbull.

Q.E.D.

Zwellers · 06/02/2025 00:59

pollyglot Are you this unpleasant and rude in real life. Or just anonymously via a keyboard were you can judge strangers because obviously your children are perfect and have never done a thing wrong. Perhaps learn some manners and courtesy yourself.