My husband has hidden £122,000 from me (before you ask, I do not gamble nor have credit card debt)

[Multiplicationarithmetic]

Married for over 15 years and I was sorting out some papers.
I found a buy to let mortgage with a difference between the flat value and mortgage amount.
I asked him how he paid the difference and he got angry and said he paid for it with his savings and that he could do whatever he wants with it.
I said it's our money cos I do loads of childcare and house-stuff while he's working 7 day weeks even on vacation.
Shit, it's that amount after tax. What the hell?
It's over I think. I'm terrified what a forensic accountant will find out.

Is he employed or self employed?

I assume you mean that he's got a lot of money you dont know about not debt

I don't understand what you mean about the difference? Could you be clearer? And who is involving a forensic accountant?

Tbf women on here are continously told to have their own secret savings. They just call it a fuck off fund.

Do you have separate finances? If you do, then he's right, it's up to him how he spends his money.

If you don't, how on earth has he amassed that sort of money without you noticing?

I would probably leave if I found out any major financial information was kept from me.

So has he got a property you didn't know about? Bought with funds you weren't aware of?

Employed & freelance work.
A separation would involve a forensic acct if he conceals financial info.
The difference is the £122k between the cost of the flat and mortgage granted.

Yes

Good grief 😳. He's less than transparent. I think you need to start looking more closely at your accounts soonest.

Could this money have come from a ringfenced inheritance?

Do you work?

Speak openly and plainly with him about it and ask why has he hidden it from you/what his plans are. Use that information to plan your next moves.

I've retained after years of being a SAHM.
I can't get enough work cos he refuses to do school run even once a week and childcare eats up what I earn.

He says its all his and nothing to do with me - but we're married.
It could have reduced our mortgage and he won't discuss it with me.
He was furious that I mentioned it.

Who's living in the flat?

Well he's clearly an arsehole

Or house*

So he doesn't even contribute to the childcare?

And yes, a flat you don't know about is very different to a woman having a fuck off fund.

That's what I wondered. And he 'works' seven days a week?

I would be checking out that address straight away. If he has an entire property secret from you is it possible there is a second family in it.

Based on the information you've posted it sounds like you need to look for a good divorce lawyer. He clearly doesn't understand the law and that the more he tries to hide his money the more the courts will dig for it and the more they'll hand over to you in the divorce. Let him keep going, just play your cards close to your chest.

Either OP is the other woman or the other woman is in the flat.

I would worry about this so would want some answers. If you plan to leave, get the forensic accountant in.

It is suspicious.

I know someone who keeps another flat for his longterm mistress to live in. His poor wife is either oblivious or in denial. Can't work out which.

I've met the tenants. Married couple.
Works from home so I see him.

That sounds terrible OP! What a shock for you. Does it feel like the end of the marriage to you?