My husband has hidden £122,000 from me (before you ask, I do not gamble nor have credit card debt)

[Multiplicationarithmetic]

Married for over 15 years and I was sorting out some papers.
I found a buy to let mortgage with a difference between the flat value and mortgage amount.
I asked him how he paid the difference and he got angry and said he paid for it with his savings and that he could do whatever he wants with it.
I said it's our money cos I do loads of childcare and house-stuff while he's working 7 day weeks even on vacation.
Shit, it's that amount after tax. What the hell?
It's over I think. I'm terrified what a forensic accountant will find out.

So he keeps paperwork in your home, and is out of the house 7 days a week? I would stop asking questions, and start making copies of everything.

Check your credit file in case he has named you on any of the mortgages.

She did know. In subsequent posts she says he has multiple investment properties, so I don’t think it’s a secret house secret family situation. Sounds more like it is his business.

Mentioning that he has other properties makes this sound more like a business.

Are these properties owned by a business/multiple businesses owned by your husband? That would be a slightly different situation to him having made a personal investment without telling you.

Nope I can never touch my husbands family trust.

Of course he is furious ! This man is out for himself . He doesn’t appreciate what you have put in raising kids.
OP you are doing it all alone anyway .
He will be the type to wait unill the kids have left home and leave you for someone half his/ your age.
Get out now with the best deal possible .

Advice . Say nothing. Don’t show him your hand.
Speak to a solicitor. Get your ducks on a row and get what you are entitled to for you and your kids
Once you are sorted and investigated . Then you can leave

That does actually make sense. Like most people I jumped to him having secret savings. But flipping a rental home is a logical explanation if he had several properties. And that would be nowhere near as selfish.

This makes sense to me.

But why is he so angry at being questioned by his wife? Why not just say this - explain his investment strategy? It is the blanket statement that his finances are none of her business that would bother me.

Until a married couple divorce, assets and liabilities are NOT joint unless they are in joint names. They belong to the person in whose name they are in. This has been the case, and the law, since the late 1800s. Tax law changed in the 1990's to tax husband and wife separately, but before that a wife's income went on her husband's tax return (generally). Now, if the asset is in one spouse's sole name the income/expense for that asset goes on that spouse's tax return.
If the rental property is in the OP's husband's name alone, then the income does not go on the OP's tax return.

On divorce, all assets and liabilities should be taken into account in the settlement, no matter whose name(s) they are in. So if OP were to divorce, then these properties would be taken into account even if they're in her H's sole name. The exact settlement would be a matter for the court.

Really odd thing OP. But why do all your posts contain exactly 3 sentences. Reads so strangely.

Your husband is a prick.

Yeah I'd leave him. He has misunderstood marriage.

If you separate make sure there is a financial forensic investigation and that you get 50% of everything . I can’t grasp why someone would hide that knowing fully well you get 50%

There’s no hypocrisy. There is, however, evidence that critical thinking should be taught in schools.

IfYouLook - I didnt notice 3 lines to each post - you're observant.

If it's a business, why isn't he registered at Companies House? I thought businesses had to be registered. I did a free check.

I'm worried that I'll lose my home if he's not been accurate on his self assessment.

Hes also lent money to his family. Large sums which could make a big dent in our mortgage. I'll never be equal to him in his eyes?

£122k is quite the fuck-off fund, though, it's more "emigrating to Mars"

Why would you pay all the childcare bill when they’re 50% HIS kids?!

Time for him to go, he is a freeloader. He states he is down about it, he's not he is enjoying the fruits if your labour. To use a old expression, he is a ponce.
Say bye now and enjoy time with your children.

I'm worried I'll lose my home and/or he'll be in trouble with the law if he's been concealing income from the government.

Holyshitballs. I'd never get over this or trust him again.

He sounds like a jack-ass OP. He doesn't see you as his equal or treat you with respect. What a deceitful little turd.

How do I explain to our children that I have to end my marriage?
16 and 12.

You get a good solicitor and stress that a forensic accountant is critical as he has been finished abusing you.

Giving money to his family to keep it from you is financially abusing you.

Gather as much proof as possible.
Take photos of any documents and email them to a new secure account.

Get organised.

Because you have blown up his oh so clever secret plan.

He had this plan that eventually you would divorce when he either finds someone else or leaves for the side piece he already has, and instead of "the bitch taking me to the cleaners" he has his secret fund that he thinks you are too stupid know about.

By finding out you have done three unforgivable things....

1. fucked up the secret plan
2. proved that he isnt as clever as he thinks he is
3. proved that you are far cleverer than he thought you were.

Keep asking, dont let it go. Let him shout and lose his shit but make it clear that you will not let this go.

And yes a forensic accountant will be required but ime (through a family member) they are worth far far more than the initial cost in what they will find and you will be entitled to 50% of.

His yelling about "its mine and nothing to do with you" is because he knows for a fact that it has EVERYTHING to do with you and that you are entitled to what he tried to hide, and he is hoping to bully you into backing down.

Be aware, he will try to use the kids against you. He is in a panic and will do anything he can to get you to STFU. So tell the kids first. Tell them that you found out that dad hasnt been honest and has lied to you for a long time and thats why you are splitting up. When they ask what he lied about, tell them the truth. He will go INSANE that they know, but that is further proof that he had this plan.....

I don't know if it's his plan to leave me or that he simply doesn't believe its "our" money as opposed to his.

I think the latter. Why would he want to get rid of a great housekeeper who cares for his children at weekends and during school holidays?

I've got no idea who he's lent money to or if it's been repaid.
He's treating me like a nanny/housekeeper who can't question him.
I feel so stupid and ignorant but if i delve deeper I don't want to trigger a tax investigation.
I feel like crap. He's treating me like crap.

Exactly!