My husband has hidden £122,000 from me (before you ask, I do not gamble nor have credit card debt)

[Multiplicationarithmetic]

Married for over 15 years and I was sorting out some papers.
I found a buy to let mortgage with a difference between the flat value and mortgage amount.
I asked him how he paid the difference and he got angry and said he paid for it with his savings and that he could do whatever he wants with it.
I said it's our money cos I do loads of childcare and house-stuff while he's working 7 day weeks even on vacation.
Shit, it's that amount after tax. What the hell?
It's over I think. I'm terrified what a forensic accountant will find out.

But he told you - he did not get mad at you and tell you it was none of your business. More than the actual amounts, it is the attitude that would concern me. And the lack of communication - OP may want to pay off her mortgage, he may not - but surely it is what you discuss together in a relationship?

She probably knew that the house existed, like I know houses down my road exist and I see people going in and out of them so may recognise the tenants of those houses, but I wouldn't know if my husband secretly owned one of them without telling me.

I suppose it's just about possible that the flat is very near home and she met the neighbours. . . without knowing that her husband owned their place.

I find that very unlikely. She said it’s a flat in the OP. So unless it’s one of those rare first floor flats with a separate staircase entrance, it’ll have a single entry point that leads to multiple homes - how would she possible know who lived in which one?

Since he bought it after you were married it counts as marital property. My concern is that he hid it from you which shows a lack of honesty. Also there are tax implications - a rental property should be declared to HMRC & tax paid. However, as I say, my concern is the lack of transparency in his finances. As you say, he could have paid off part (or all) of your mortgage, but he didn't discuss this with you as, his partner in life he should. I'd be very suspicious of him TBH.

Ive read your OP a few times, its a little unclear…Am I right in thinking that you have always known about the flat and that a mortgage was taken out on it…that you assumed the mortgage was for the full market value but have just found that your husband put down £122,000 and took out a smaller mortgage for the outstanding amount? Meaning he had 122k cash floating around spare that you didn’t know about?

Well, the good news for starters OP is that half of it is yours, so it's good that you've found out about it. Not so good is your OP's attitude and aggression on being found out. I have some experience in this area, and I would wonder what other financial secrets he is hiding from you.

The best thing you can do - hard as it will be - is to try and bide your time, keep calm and start digging. Get copies of any financial statements you can obtain, and make sure they are safe off the premises, or photograph them and send them to yourself and a trusted friend or family member. It is possible you may be shocked by what you find, but don't allow it to distract you from what you need to do.

For the hard of understanding and the incel crowd who periodically land in a swarm on here, there is all the difference in the world between a modest emergency fund of six thousand pounds, and a six figure sum that would buy you a property in some areas of the country. This is a life changing sum of money for the OP and her husband in terms of making their joint plans for the future. That's not funny, and it definitely goes against every marriage vow they ever made to each other.

If I was looking to buy a secret flat and hide it from my wife, I probably wouldn’t choose a flat on the same street I lived on, making my secret tenants my wife’s neighbours. Having gone to all that effort, I probably also wouldn’t leave the paperwork lying about…

You're married. It's half yours, at least. Get legal advice, a forensic accountant, and file for divorce.

Good Point Well Made.

This is confusing.

I'm a former accountant,. It really isn't.

I read it as she knew the property existed and was owned by him (or them), but that there was a significantly smaller mortgage on it than she expected or had been aware of.

Weird that he’s never mentioned this.

In a subsequent post she answered ‘Yes’ to the following question:

“So has he got a property you didn't know about? Bought with funds you weren't aware of?”

That’s pretty unequivocal.

ludncuewbccgrcb
So has he got a property you didn't know about? Bought with funds you weren't aware of?

OP replied 'yes' to this post upthread.

I would go through every single bit of paperwork in the house and get a forensic accountant - even then you might not get the full story but 100% grounds for divorce. It is your money too.

She's said that she was unaware both of the purchase and of the savings he used for the deposit. Presumably she met the tenants since this revelation, and is at pains to point out they're a couple so we don't assume it's a love nest. It's the male tenant who WFH I think, not the DH.

Yes i agree have a pocket he knows about and a pocket he dont,
Same goes for men.
So if shit hits the fan no worries.

Well,women are routinely advised on mn to have a just in case fund of money stashed away
Why is he working 7 day pw and you’re working what?
childcare is a shared cost shouldn’t be a cost you solely bear

It is! OPs earlier post made it sound as if this was a complete revelation, but her later post says she met the tenants. What are the chances of discovering the property and then also finding out you’d met the tenants before? Unless her DH took her round there on a pretence

He’s dead wrong there.

I knew a guy who kept money from his wife and the HMRC were on his back, turned out he was helping some really dodgy types with money laundering. I'm not saying that's the case, but I'd definitely be pressing him for more transparency. I personally see no issue with having savings or separate funds.... just know where it comes from.

Is it possible that the flat is an asset of his business, with the deposit paid using funds from the business?

Because if it was a business asset and you don’t normally get involved in the running of the business, it would explain why he didn’t feel the need to tell you.

The confusing part is nothing to do with the finances.