What's the most ridiculous way you have injured yourself?

[Unpaidviewer]

I'm incredibly clumsy and I think I might have broken my toe (the one next to the big toe). I pushed with my feet to scoot back on the sofa and the foot slipped forward but the toe somehow curled under my foot and got trapped. There was a nice crack noise and then the pain hit. The pain is unbearable when I stand or walk so I've come to bed early with pain killers, a book and a cup of tea.

So could anyone share a ridiculous injury to make myself feel less stupid?

Stabbed myself in the palm of my hand getting the stone out of a particularly ripe avocado. Hole in my hand, A&E, stitches.

Stood on an unexpected discarded plastic sword, slid across the kitchen at top speed, crashed into the dishwasher. Two broken toes. I could barely walk for the next two weeks, which was challenging as I was on my own with a 2 year old and a 4 year old.

When I was 12 on a caravan holiday I was in a pub beer garden (my family were inside!). It was drizzling and I spotted a lovely looking boy! I decided I would do some peacocking and proceeded to walk down the metal slide like the cool girl I was. Yeah I slipped, fell and sustained inverted fractures of the vertebrae. The lovely looking boy did go and fetch help though as I lay winded on the slide. Was in Scarborough Hospital for a week!

I’ve got another one. I was running down the escalator in high heels and a dress to catch the tube, despite knowing damn well another train would be along in less than 5 minutes. Fell down the escalator, probably had my dress up around my ears and ended up looking like a lion had mauled my leg.

this was on a Friday morning. We were on our way to a wedding. Sadly, we did not make it to the wedding. It was friends of my BF, I didn’t really know them. My BF insisted we go home and he looked after me and fed me ice cream, even though I tried to insist he go without me. That’s when I knew he was a keeper.

Crikey. I thought my falling off my bike and dislocating f my shoulder while k. Traffic was silly but some of these. Oh my word. Painful

TiffanyIceberg · Yesterday 21:26

Clever me stuck my finger in the wall light bulb holder to see if I could fit a wax candle in there, got a lovely zap from that.

Very similar, I've posted about it before...

I was ten and my middle elder sister came downstairs crying, I asked her what was the matter. She beckoned me up stairs and pointed to her wall mounted angle poise lamp, which had no bulb in it.

"I put my finger in there," she said. Naturally, I followed suit and got two little burns on my fingertip.

Am loving this thread!

I also zapped myself as a child when my dad, changing a light bulb, told me not to touch the empty socket (‘What? This?’ I asked).
Broke my ankle jumping into a swimming pool (shallower than I realised).
Put two teeth through my bottom lip, requiring stitches, sitting down to put my socks on (dog jumped up to sit on my lap at the same time as I leant forward, we banged heads; dog was fine — although also quite accident prone, come to think of it!).
Burned my armpits using hair removal cream and forgetting to wipe it off after the allotted time. (They were VERY sore for ages.)

Also had to go to a&e years ago to have a ring removed: I usually wore on my second finger, but wanted to wear it on my (much fatter!) first finger; even as I was forcing it on, I was thinking it was a terrible idea, but for some unknown reason persisted… Got it on — eventually — and finger immediately ballooned.
Oh, and nearly went to a&e after my hand went numb and I got shooting pains in my arm that worsened throughout the day. By the evening, DH said he’d drive me to hospital; I thought I’d just see if there was any swelling or bruising first so rolled up my sleeve — to find the slightly-too-tight elastic hair band I’d slipped on to my wrist before bed the previous night.

Tube escalators are brutal. I still have the dent and scar on my knee from the bite taken out by a down on the Piccadilly line

Walked out of the lift and thought the clear panel (I'm visually impaired) was actually somewhere to walk though, not seeing the white door. I only managed to walk into it twice

Turning on a run and tripping over my guide runners feet

Aged 16, I got a frozen shoulder from just reaching to grab the remote from the coffee table.

Cue weeks of getting my parents to wash my hair, get clothes on the top half of my body as only could lift left arm about a third of the way.

Avocado hand.

I manage to get stones out with my fingers or a teaspoon.

I was just outside the front door dealing with something,when I heard the kids fighting
I'm normally 'don't get involved unless there is blood' but this sounded like someone had died
Ran back in,tripped over the mat and broke two toes
A year later,exactly the same thing happened (same two kids having a scrap) and I re-broke the same two toes

Fell over a wet floor sign at work and broke my finger
The very same sign I'd placed there 3 seconds earlier

Same finger got trapped in a door and broke again

Fell over the front foot step while 7 months pregnant
I was so big,I couldn't see in front of me and forgot there was a step

Decorating dds bedroom while 8 1/2 months pregnant (different baby),fell over and broke my elbow
Had to sit in a&e covered in pale pink paint and went into labour while sitting there

Fell down the stairs at work,took out 3 colleagues on my way down and knackered my knee (its still painful 3 years on)
Colleagues where fine-just a bit shocked

Was walking down the street one day while reading something on my phone
Didn't see the whopping big ambulance in front of me until I'd almost walked into the back
Saw it just in time and dodged to the right
And promptly fell completely over the poor girl on a stretcher,who was being wheeled towards the sodding ambulance
Ended up with my dress over my head and pants on full display
Broke my wrist and had a lovely bruise on my forehead

I used to carry 3 scooters home from the school run (kids would ride to school)
One if the mums thought it would be funny to dare me to try riding one a few yards
She even double dared me so of course I did it
It hit a stone,I flew over the handlebars and ended up with a Hitler style tash/scab

At the tower of London,where the crown jewels are kept,there are guards and a very low barrier made of metal
My sd was having a tantrum and she'd stormed off
I turned to walk the other way as I'd had enough and fell over the barrier
Head down,arse up and giving my poor mil the full view of my pants and chub rub shorts
Thankfully I only had a few grazes on my hands

It got to the point my boss thought I was being battered and had a word

He soon realised I'm just an idiot

My horse spooked at a snowman and I stupidly had her rope round my hand so she dragged me across frozen ground and fractured my rib 🤣

Not the worst injury but was feeling very smug having assembled my Ikea chest of draws all by myself without hammering my fingers or dropping anything on me, only to then cut my arm taking the packaging out to the bin (no I'm not sure how either).

Tripped over in my son's bedroom and impaled myself on a miniature statue of the Eiffel Tower. I had to take a deep breath and pull the thing out of my knee cap.

Kept cast iron pans on top of the kitchen wall cupboards. My deaf white cat likes to test gravity and being deaf has never been discouraged by noise startling her. I got a full size two handled cast iron oven dish dropped straight on the top of my head. Nearly knocked me out, but I caught the dish before it (and I) hit the floor...

Backpack full of the DC's stuff for the day when they were little. I had got it on as far as one shoulder then bent down to pick something up, and it swung round slamming me in the ribs and obviously caught me at the wrong angle and broke a rib. Was in pain for weeks after. GP refused to see me unless I was struggling to breathe.

Before Christmas, got out of bed in the night for a wee and stubbed my toe on a chair leg, breaking it. Still aches a bit but nearly healed.

Was in a pub I hadn't been to in years. I went to the loo, which I remembered had been straight down the back and, as I did so, I saw someone coming towards me. As we approached one another, I thought "Crikey, they look just like me!" as I walked full tilt into a floor-to-ceiling mirror. The pub had been renovated and the toilets were now to my right. I ended up with a large lump on my forehead.

Walking home from work. There was a slow-moving line of traffic approaching a junction. I saw a car that looked like it was my brother's with someone looking rather like him at the wheel. As I was doing my "Is it or isn't it?" rubber-necking, I failed to notice a patch of spilled oil at the edge of the footpath, stepped in it, and went down like a sack of spuds on the tarmac. I skinned both palms, twisted my left knee and bruised my left hip. It wasn't my brother either.

Years ago, I was walking to work when I saw and heard a couple having a huge row. I was keeping an eye on them in case it turned physical and walked straight into a metal pole belonging to a parking sign. I sat on the pavement with my legs either side of the pole not knowing what had just happened. At least it ended the argument as the couple came over to help me up. I went in to work but they had to send me home again as I was completely dazed with a splitting headache. It took me a couple of days to recover and I had a lovely lump on my forehead.

There isn't much they can do for broken ribs. I was just given painkillers by A&E

I have pulled muscles in my shoulder by putting a blouse on

My friend’s mum was standing on a chair decorating. She fell of, the chair upended and you can imagine where the leg ended up 😳

She must have been momentarily suspended in the air for that to actually happen

I wasn’t there to see it, I was with my friend when she got a phone call from her Dad as they had to go to hospital.

Whether you believe me or not makes no difference.

What a load of bollocks take your weird fantasies elsewhere, I suppose she had no clothes or underwear on either.

Sounds like the kind of nonsense someone would come up with to explain a vaginal injury.
I imagine Medical Staff have heard all sorts

Just reminded me of my similar mirror incident in a pub/restaurant. It was a bit dark down the corridor, I'm hard of seeing anyway, with zero depth perception, and some alcohol had been had.
Kind of looked up, saw someone coming towards me, so moved to the side. So did the silly mare in front of me. So I sort of tutted, moved to the other side, and she did it again. It ever so slowly clicked that it was a mirror. No injuries except to my self confidence.