What's the most ridiculous way you have injured yourself?

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I'm incredibly clumsy and I think I might have broken my toe (the one next to the big toe). I pushed with my feet to scoot back on the sofa and the foot slipped forward but the toe somehow curled under my foot and got trapped. There was a nice crack noise and then the pain hit. The pain is unbearable when I stand or walk so I've come to bed early with pain killers, a book and a cup of tea.

So could anyone share a ridiculous injury to make myself feel less stupid?

Stood on top of a set of very stable steps, tying a hay net up in my Horsebox for my horse to eat on our way home after a 3 day camp. Fell off, and went head over heels down the Horsebox ramp with the metal steps. I was bruised from neck to bum, and took months for it to go. I was in so much pain, had to drive ponies home and sort them out the other end, and didn't even think to take any pain killers till about 48 hours later when DH suggested it might be a good idea given I could hardly move!

Sliced my finger open cutting up a lime for a G&T - bled for days and left a scar - I wouldn't mind but it was my first one so hadn't even had a drink at that point!

Got disoriented whilst staying in a hotel room and fell out of bed and onto the bedside table as I was getting up to to go the toilet - really hurt my shoulder (I may have had a drink for that one!)

@iwentjasonwaterfalls , are you hypermobile by any chance?
Very bendy is definitely a sign.
I was told as a child I could fall over a leaf!! Bloody hate being called clumsy though. Heard it so often (along with Clumsy Clara 😡 )
I have hurt myself in many ridiculous ways, I will come back later when I've remembered some.

Never broken bones. A few months into my last job, a customer dropped a 6 pack of baked beans onto my foot. I was in agony for about 30 mins. Had about 3 more hours of my shift. Pain was manageable with some painkillers.

Next morning, it was my day off and woke up with my foot swollen and bruised. Couldn't put any weight onto my foot. A visit to A&E and doctors were convinced I broke at least 1 bone. X-ray results no broken bones. They said someone came in the previous day with similar swelling, bruising, inability to put weight on foot broke 2 bones - one in two places. They were baffled on how on earth I didn't break a bone! Had 3 weeks off work and an other x-ray just in case I had stress fractures.

I have had entire roller cages full of cases fall onto my foot - these weigh about 100-380kg, depending on what items are on there. Distribution centre doesn't see that one of the wheels is falling off - seem to put heavy stuff such as tins, jars and cleaning/washing materials, not loo roll, cereal and crisps. I didn't get a single bruise or ounce of pain.

Cut my finger open on some mozzarella

Lost my balance while positioning a piece of timber with the screw point protruding out the back of it and electrically screwed it into the base of my finger. Put the electric screwdriver into reverse to try and get it out in my daze. Didn't work. My father in law had to manually unscrew it with pliers and then I had to get a tetanus jab.

Another time, I broke my toes stepping over my stubborn dog. He moved when I had a foot either side of him, knocked me off balance and broke my toe off the door frame.

I'm sorry but I have to know. 😂 How?

Opening a box with a flat pack bookcase inside. It was propped up against the wall, as I ripped the box open one of the shelves came flying out, hitting me in the face. Ended up with a fat lip and cut nose.

Bent down to use the lever to put a car seat forward in a hire car people moved and the spring was so tight it sprung forward and whacked me in the face. Spent half my holiday walking around with a black eye.

It turns out it can be quite sharp when it's frozen 😁

This was very recent, just last week: I was doing some home maintenance outside. I was slowly walking backwards, looking up at the roof, while holding a ladder. I tripped over a small shrub, fell on my butt and slammed the ladder into my face so hard that I broke my nose and got a huge goose egg lump and muscle injury on my forehead. And now a black eye, too, from the nose injury. I'm actually lucky that I somehow didn't break my glasses in the melee. Or my skull.

Oh that's funny! (Sorry!). I tend to walk into glass windows etc - I don't seem to 'see; glass!

I can only read a few at a time as these are awful.

I also hurt myself in a detergent capsule. Saw I had a bit in my finger but couldn't put everything together when my eye started itching. You know what happened. Trip to opticians, then to A&E holiday two days later then left to drive back for the check up.

Sliced finger when chopping carrots. Scar and no feeling.