What's the most ridiculous way you have injured yourself?

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I'm incredibly clumsy and I think I might have broken my toe (the one next to the big toe). I pushed with my feet to scoot back on the sofa and the foot slipped forward but the toe somehow curled under my foot and got trapped. There was a nice crack noise and then the pain hit. The pain is unbearable when I stand or walk so I've come to bed early with pain killers, a book and a cup of tea.

So could anyone share a ridiculous injury to make myself feel less stupid?

Sorry but this really made me laugh 😃 😀 😄

This reminds me of my first job where the trainee chef was cutting Carrots with a meat cleaver and the head chef said ' there's nothing like using the right sized knife for the job'.

Today . I literally stubbed my toe on the coffee table . Trip to minor injuries , X-ray and yes it's broken . Totally silly thing to do .

Oh yes, DH took a chunk out of his finger yesterday while putting the ironing board up. Sorry DH, but 😂

I have broken my toes by stubbing them many times. I am an oaf.

I have also broken my big toe by stepping off a chair and putting my full weight on the joint, but was so drunk I didn't notice until the next day (when my one night stand took me to the walk-in clinic...).

I fell down the stairs while vacuuming and broke my arse—landed on the bottom step, right on the coccyx.

ETA: I never bother going to the doc / A&E with the stubbed toes, I know when they're broken and there's nothing to do but wait for it to heal.

Coming home after a night out the next morning - didn't lift my foot high enough and broke my toe - same one as you ha!

Then broke it again when I tripped over my own flip flop at the fair ..... and then again broke it when tripping over my baby's walker :-)

Recommend strapping it to the next toe with some gauze in between for padding to try and keep it in place instead of healing and being bent! lol

Less serious than some of these but I cut my finger on a sharp piece of toast.

I broke my leg tripping over a lemon

I was sat on the floor for about 30 minutes doing crafts when I remembered something I needed to quickly do that evening. I stood quickly and tried to turn but I’d been sitting on my leg so it was numb and when I put the foot on the floor it completely crumpled then pins and needles came on but not before I’d badly sprained my ankle. 2 weeks on it’s still swollen. I honestly thought I’d broken in. I felt so stupid. I’m a grown adult ffs.

Pulled my shoulder out taking off a sports bra while sweaty....

Some of these sound hilarious painful!

I was taking a glass out of a cupboard above the work surface when I dropped it. It bounced, cracked and a shard of it sliced my arm open. No-one was around so I had to wrap it in a tea towel and drive myself to A&E! 10 stitches later...

Very outing as I have told this story to many people but I broke my foot having sex as a late teen. Thought we were all sexy and used a shit ton of baby oil and I kinda slipped off 🤦‍♀️🤣 fell off the bed and landed awkwardly on my foot. That was embarrassing explaining it to the hospital.

Sat on my plugged in straighteners wearing only pants...

Broke my ankle and foot getting out of bed
Herniated a disc so badly I needed spinal surgery by doing absolutely nothing
Burned myself dropping boiling caramel on my arm
Scratched my eye by dropping a Pyrex dish which shattered and landed in my eye
Split my chin open skidding on carpet wearing shiny tights
Broke my bum rollerskating down concrete steps

I swear the GP goes green when I say "I don't know what I did but..."

Head butted the rim of the toilet and gave myself 2 black eyes and my nose has been wonky ever since. Had a stomach bug, ran to the loo to be sick, opened the lid of the loo and slipped as I put my head down to be sick and head butted the rim of the loo.

Daft thing was I did it again a few years later in the sink, head butted the tap!

I had a stupid injury. Holding a potato in my left hand and doing fast and furious stabs into it with a very sharp and pointy knife. Yes, I missed the potato and stabbed myself in the hand. Yes, the knife was recently sharpened so it went deep. Yes, I had to get it treated, and yes, I felt like a massive wally. 🫣

We had a pear tree, but the fruit was out of reach, and every year, the pears would grow plump, before falling to the ground and spoiling.

So one autumn, I decided to pick some pears. I toddled down the garden with a ladder, propped the ladder against the tree, and clambered up. At which point, the ladder slipped and tilted, I ended up dangling underneath the ladder briefly, before losing my grip, and landing in a heap. With a broken collarbone.

Some time later, DP asked, fairly reasonably, why I hadn’t mentioned that I was going to climb a ladder to pick pears. And to be fair, that would have been a better plan of action.

Stepped off the kerb and sprained my ankle so badly I severely damaged two of the ligaments in it.

I've never been particularly good at ice skating and especially now I'm well past the 'bouncing' days of being a child. DS loves ice skating but I said I'm not joining you as I'll fall over. Birthday came and decided as a special occasion, I'll have a go. 5 minutes later, on my bum and a trip to A&E as I'd broken my wrist 🤣

Mum took me to the doctors when I was 4 with chicken pox. I was sat on the edge of the examination bed and I had both my hands in my wellies. Fell forwards and broke both my collar bones as hands were trapped. Mum and GP both mortified 😀

I once kicked the underside of a coffee table while drunkenly dancing the Can Can at a New Years party. Hurt like you wouldn't believe, I was hopping all round the place and my toes were like belisha beacons the following morning. It was a few years ago now and there's still just a gnarled stump where my little toenail was.

Thought of more - fell up the stairs and broke my ankle. Fell over at a school disco, broke my coccyx. Got thrown off a horse and was tap danced on just for fun. That didn't end well!

Fell down the stairs whilst pregnant, broke coccyx again. (DC was fine but ended up equally accident prone.)

Slipped on a manhole cover and broke my ankle. Slipped off a kerb and broke my ankle.

Was helping XMIL with dishing up a roast, slipped on their kitchen floor and broke two fingers.

Oh, and I broke my foot when I decided jogging would be a good thing to try. When I was 14. Wearing plimsolls...!

Ouch OP I feel your pain!

I walked into my brother's pool table that was up in the dining room when we were kids. I had bare feet and one toe went one way round the leg and the other toe the other way. I sat down and cried for a while then got up and did the EXACT same thing! What an idiot! Broke a bone in my foot. Very painful.

I put my back out sneezing once

Pulled a muscle in my abdomen coughing

My cousin broke her arm falling off the couch

My ex chipped a tooth coming down the stairs on a bus

Cut my stupid finger on the chewing gum rack in the shop on the ground floor of the district general hospitalI I was working in theatres suite at the time.

I was buying sugar free mints.

I had not noticed until I reached the changing room!

Surgeon in teatre 6, leaning against the tabel offering to amputate it for a laugh as a scrub nurse lifted my hand up in the air and pressing it with a swab whilst I was leaning against a trolley full of instruments It would not stop bleeding, I felt like I wanted the floor to swallow me.

It was like a scene from a carr on film gobe beserk. There was a small trail of blood all the way from the shop, up the stairs leading to th ladies changing rooms !!

The funny thing was, it eventually became a bit of a wind up as my colleagues would not let me forget it! 🤣🤣