What's the most ridiculous way you have injured yourself?

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I'm incredibly clumsy and I think I might have broken my toe (the one next to the big toe). I pushed with my feet to scoot back on the sofa and the foot slipped forward but the toe somehow curled under my foot and got trapped. There was a nice crack noise and then the pain hit. The pain is unbearable when I stand or walk so I've come to bed early with pain killers, a book and a cup of tea.

So could anyone share a ridiculous injury to make myself feel less stupid?

Last week, had my phone in my dressing gown pocket. Sat on the loo, phone dropped out on to top of my foot. Chipped a bone.

Broke my wrist rolling off a futon to get the remote control. All of 5 inches up, If that.

My dad managed to snap his achilles tendon waltzing with my mum in Vienna two years ago at the grand old age of 74. I kind of love that, although by all accounts it was excruciating, although he speaks very highly of their hospitals.

When I was about 10 I managed to step on an upturned cake candle holder (the ones shaped like flowers). It went into my heel up to the actual candle bit, and when I looked my heel was decorated with a pink plastic flower. I panicked and pulled it out, with a memorable sucking noise, and then went limping downstairs for help, leaving a trail of blood spots in my wake.

I slipped in a hot tub on my hen do. Literally from standing up to sitting but it was sudden. Didn't spill my drink. Fractured my cocsyx and spent 4 years in agony whenever I sat down and when sleeping. Had to take a donut (like one people use for piles) everywhere, literally carried it around with me with 4 years 🙈

Tried to stop a jigsaw blade with my bare hand - didn't end well.
A LOT of blood!

Broke a rib picking up a box that turned out was way too heavy for me. Didn’t even know that was possible!

I was trying to fix my child's scooter once and somehow I managed to hit myself in the eye with it. You couldn't make it up. Gave myself a black eye and then a bit awkward trying to explain to people.

😱

Tripped over a child in the school playground and fractured my elbow.

I was the teacher…

Cut my hand open on a packet of paracetamol

Put my back out for a week running a bath. And nearly choked to death on a piece of lettuce.
Loving this thread 💕 glad there are others that are as good at adulting as me!

I'm a walking accident. I have tripped over a flat piece of paper before...

Some of my pearlers

• snapped my toothbrush while brushing my teeth - broken handle skidded along my gums - ouch
• multiple time smacking myself hard in the face with either a telephone handset or a hair brush
• scars beside the outside corner of both eyes from going to push my hair back and gouging my very strong, mid length nails into my face
• walking home one day from work. Got a bit excited that I'd got the 10km to my car so quickly. Next thing I know it was like someone had spear tackled me and I quite literally face planted into the footpath. Knocked myself out, blood every where. Two lovely me stopped to help me. I went down so fast I didn't have time to get my hands out. Took skin off all over my face. Bruises etc. still got a scar on the bridge of my nose from that.
• walking on the perfectly flat ground around the side of my house and tore my plantar fascia - went off with a huge bang.
• stepped off the step ladder forgetting I was on the second rung, stumbled backwards, got taken out at the knees by a large pot, fell backwards onto the outdoor table and dislocated my collar bone

High kick on the stairs. Broken foot
Not sure I wish to elaborate as it’s all too recent 🥲

Ooo thought of another! Cycling with clip in shoes. Traffic stopped unexpectedly and over I went in a queue of traffic! I was like a turtle on its back. Only slight bruising but a badly bruised ego!

Closing the front door wearing gloves when my grip slipped and I fell down the front steps

i parked on a hill and when I got out the car the door swung back into my face

Not me, but someone I know (and witnessed it happen) opened a bottle of champagne and the cork hit him square in the eye.

Making a salad for lunch one morning. Sliced the nail on my left pointer finger in half from top to bottom 😳 initially thought I'd just nicked the tip, then blood welled up the full length of the nail. What do you do with that? It's not exactly an emergency. Had to drive myself to a Dr surgery and get them to clean it up.

Oh and my DH. So funny, I still laugh now. Putting on a fitted sheet and slipped and punched himself in the face. It was absolutely hilarious 😂

Took DS to a funfair when he was about 6. Went into the mirror maze, had a really fun time until the very end when instead of walking out through the wide open door, I walked splat into a pane of glass and gave myself a massive nosebleed which was worthy of ending up in the first aid room.

One of my cats greeted me by so enthusiastically leaping into my arms, he misjudged, over-jumped right into my face and literally knocked me out for a few moments.

Fell over in the house and somehow cracked a rib with the underwiring of my bra as I pushed it right in to my ribcage by falling onto the edge of one of the litter trays.

Omg don’t. I had a few months of coccyx pain and that was enough. You poor thing

Broke my toe by getting it caught in a loose thread of my PJ bottoms and falling over.

Fell over dancing ‘enthusiastically’ to Gangnam style at a wedding. It was a small dance floor and the dj noticed as well. So, I brushed off my embarrassment in a “nothing to see here” way and then did the Macarena.

I’d broken my wrist….!

Stone cold sober - was giving a paramedic directions, when I slipped off the edge of a lowered curb and managed to break three bones in my hand. In front off the ambulance….

Are you still bitter about it? 🍋

Broke my pinky playing snap with the hubby and kids!!