What's the most ridiculous way you have injured yourself?

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I'm incredibly clumsy and I think I might have broken my toe (the one next to the big toe). I pushed with my feet to scoot back on the sofa and the foot slipped forward but the toe somehow curled under my foot and got trapped. There was a nice crack noise and then the pain hit. The pain is unbearable when I stand or walk so I've come to bed early with pain killers, a book and a cup of tea.

So could anyone share a ridiculous injury to make myself feel less stupid?

Pushing rubbish down a rubbish chute and a tin can sliced into my little finger.
Using a mandoline DH told me to watch my thumb so I did and sliced a chunk off my finger instead.
Knocked the razor off its holder in the bathroom and it grazed my side from my boobs to my hips and hurt for ages. I couldn't even stand my tops touching it.
Edited to add - Got bitten on the top of both my feet and they got infected now I have crucifixion style scars.

Flower arranging.

Cutting through the stems with a new pair of kitchen scissors. Snipped through the fleshy bit of my finger and straight through the vein. Wouldn’t stop bleeding. Ended up at the doctors and had to have stitches. Bled all over the nice doctors floor and desk.

Pruning shears snapped and I whacked my eye.

Pruned a 240volt cable that looked like a stem.

Recently I was fixing an eye piece from binoculars with super glue. You know how this ends.

• Theatre 6,

I ran myself over with a pallet truck. From behind.

Should have gone to Specsavers.😁

Broke my wrist getting into bed leaning on it and it turned over. Bloody hurt.

Dropped soup on my feet.

Dropped a hammer on my head, knocked myself unconscious.
Fell out of a wheelie bin, twisted my ankle.
Slipped at the top of the stairs and bounced on my arse the whole way down, chipped a bone in my coccyx.
Have broken toes countless times.

Ted Hughes the poet actually broke his foot doing exactly this, so you’re both in good company and lucky it wasn’t worse, @TeenLifeMum!

Mine isn’t as embarrassing or funny as some (I broke my ankle falling off a gate), but the fact that I needed surgery and pins and a hospital stay meant that a lot of medical students doing rounds with the ortho consultant got to giggle daily at what was described on my notes as a ‘blackberry-picking injury’.😀

I once got a black eye from playing with my dog and a tug toy type thing. I was kneeling on the floor pulling it towards me (really strong, staffy type dog!) and he let go, resulting in me punching myself very hard in the face.

Sorry if someone asked this, but how did a child end up falling on your head??

Okay, I have to know, why were you in the wheelie bin?

Tried to be a strong independent woman by helping a delivery guy who was dropping off my new fully assembled stair case.... why he turned up along I have no clue. It was a 2 man job. I am not a man and I am not a strong woman. Lesson learned!!!
Dropped it straight onto my foot. 2 years on, I've have a permanent scar and permanent nerve damage (can't believe I didn't break a bone but I swear the pain was worse than a break)!

Thank you all! Some of these have made me properly laugh and some wince. And i keep saying to myself that my silly toe injury could be so much worse!

Chipped shin bone
Silk sheets/shagging/fell backwards off bed bicycle kicking door frame
Still excruciating for my ego

Jumping on cardboard to squash it down and it toppled over.

Tiny my wrist leaning into oven to take out a jacket potato and glove slipped. never learn so two months later burnt exact patch doing exactly the same thing. Doh!

I was ok until "fell out of a wheelie bin"

went to put some rubbish into the bin and slipped on the decking resulting in breaking my ankle both sides:0

@Pablova i get my son to do this.....i would end up injured lol

I stepped out of the back door carrying a basket of laundry, and my foot landed on a roller skate. It flew out from under me and I hot my head, concussing myself.

Was helping SIL move furniture in her house. Was the first time I'd been upstairs. Lost my footing at the top of the stairs. Fell into the wall and literally rolly pollied down the stairs.

We all laugh about it now. But I broke 3 ribs and my wrist. Was lucky not to break my back.

Luckily I had my own personal paramedic to hand (hubby) complete with his uniform as he'd just finished a shift. I also got a ride in his ambulance as the team that came out to me were the same team he'd handed over to at the end of his shift.

When hubby told my parents their response was that's faz, she's clumsy. Just something you'll get used to.

Also broke my toe a few months ago stubbed it on the sofa....

And in a previous job had a footspa fall on my face and break my nose 🤣

I should really come with a warning 🤣

Slipped on some ice and broke my leg in 3 places...... coughed so hard I fainted and cut my head on the corner of the worktop!!! My six year old son very calmly put a clean towel on my bleeding head and called an ambulance

When I was small I was playing ‘hand’ tennis with my sisters in a room at my nans pub and as I went to scoop the ball one of my fingers grazed the floor and a huge splinter went under the nail and down as far as the first knuckle . Had to go to A&E and it was bloody painful as it was very old wood and when they tried to pull it out it broke and split so they had to open it and clean it all out . I also got a hairline fracture of the skull when my horse decided to lay down on me as I was grooming her .

Been in my job 2 weeks, desperately needed to sneeze - did it but bashed my head on the edge of my computer monitor and it hirt so much l cried. Was so embarrassed - everyone just pissed themselves laughing! Bastards!