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Original poster

Kids back at school for 1st time since Xmas break

239 replies

Youagain2025 · 26/01/2025 20:58

My primary school children have not been at school because they were ill then I was to ill to take them. The school do know this and were understanding.

I haven't left my house since new year . And I feel sort of scared of going out and starting life again. I feel like I just want to stay in. I don't want the hassle of public transport. The business of everything.

OP posts:
Carryingcarrying · 30/01/2025 12:16

@ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself it’s not bullying. It’s children. And also the OP needs help. Why was the school not helping her correctly? They have the resources and contacts to do so. If this happens again she can’t be left in the same situation. The school seemed to have failed her here and I would be speaking to them about their procedures if I was her.

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 12:19

Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 08:17

I had flu and pneumonia on top . I was really ill. Its ok saying i would drag myself out get the kids to school but I could barely breath. I was waking in the night fighting for breath. I couldn't walk because of the breathing legs were shaking and giving way. I couldn't talk in a fall sentence because I couldn't catch my breath .

I was completely honest with the school

You have adult children, why couldn’t one of them step in, rather than let your younger children miss almost a month of schooling??

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 12:21

Carryingcarrying · 30/01/2025 12:16

@ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself it’s not bullying. It’s children. And also the OP needs help. Why was the school not helping her correctly? They have the resources and contacts to do so. If this happens again she can’t be left in the same situation. The school seemed to have failed her here and I would be speaking to them about their procedures if I was her.

It’s hardly the school’s responsibility to manage op’s life?
Why do you think it’s them that have failed op’s children, rather than op herself?

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General education
Lourdes12 · 30/01/2025 12:22

Who was looking after your kids during this time?

Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 12:24

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 30/01/2025 12:05

Some horrible bullying going on here. If anyone has serious concerns about OP or her children you can get your point across in much kinder ways.

In the past (my children have left school now) I have kept my children off school because I was not well enough to do the school run. School accepted this. They didn’t offer to fetch them themselves. I didn’t know anyone who I could ask to do it for me.

I have also (a different time) been so poorly that the GP told me to either drive to A&E immediately or he would call an ambulance right there from the office. It was some sort of chest/breathing/whatever type of thing. He called A&E in front of me and spoke to them and said I was on my way with suspected this or that. I drove there with my teenage child helping me walk and was kept waiting for 2 hours and sent home with a prescription. Things that look incredibly alarming aren’t always inpatient jobs. I have previously worked at a hospital, if something can be treated at home it will be. And if it can’t it won’t. It’s not a competition as to who looks and sounds the worst.

And I’m not sure if everyone noticed or not, but OPs children were ill too so they haven’t been at home twiddling their thumbs all the time. And it’s not ‘a month’. It’s from the first week of Jan to four days ago. So in my school area, that has been a three week absence. Firstly the children then the mother.

Edited

Thank you . Yes partly how you say . I spoke to gp on the phone I litterly told her I'm scared your going to ask me to come in the surgery or go to the hospital and I litterly can't walk. I told her about the breathing thing she could hear by my voice how much I was struggling. All the shaking all the other stuff . She said I had 3 options 1, go into see hp. 2 hospital or 3 antibiotics. So I got 7 days of antibiotics but she had sa8d if it gets worse or if I get any sharp pains in my chest that are unbearable to get to hospital.

Yes the kids were ill for around 5 days .

OP posts:
Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 12:28

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 12:19

You have adult children, why couldn’t one of them step in, rather than let your younger children miss almost a month of schooling??

Show quote history

You do know you can't (make) someone do something they refuse to do .

OP posts:
Carryingcarrying · 30/01/2025 12:38

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 12:21

It’s hardly the school’s responsibility to manage op’s life?
Why do you think it’s them that have failed op’s children, rather than op herself?

Show quote history

But OP is so severely poorly she says she could walk and struggled breathing. This sounds like she needed medical help.

Alongside this she has children who are young and therefore vulnerable- they need an adult to take care of them. In this situation and from what the OP has made out - she was unable to care for her children. School is the first port of call to get help for her children. OP needed better medical help and her children needed help. Schools are not just for education, they can provide the necessary support by referring to the correct people.

If I were OP I would be asking what help they can give her if this situation happens again which likely will- it’s not out of the realm of possibility to get poorly again. OP needs to do it on behalf of her children so they get the support and help needed.

I am lucky I have a network around me if this were to happen so my children wouldn’t be impacted. Not everyone has this. So it would appear with this family it needs putting in place. But missing 3 weeks of school - let’s say 2 because they were poorly for a week isn’t fair on the children. There are cases where children are off school for periods of time where there have been more going on. What’s why it’s the schools responsibility .

RadicalRaven · 30/01/2025 12:42

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 12:21

It’s hardly the school’s responsibility to manage op’s life?
Why do you think it’s them that have failed op’s children, rather than op herself?

Show quote history

Child safeguarding means supporting parents too.

Any decent school would have sign posted OP to organisations that could help her.

Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 12:51

Carryingcarrying · 30/01/2025 12:38

But OP is so severely poorly she says she could walk and struggled breathing. This sounds like she needed medical help.

Alongside this she has children who are young and therefore vulnerable- they need an adult to take care of them. In this situation and from what the OP has made out - she was unable to care for her children. School is the first port of call to get help for her children. OP needed better medical help and her children needed help. Schools are not just for education, they can provide the necessary support by referring to the correct people.

If I were OP I would be asking what help they can give her if this situation happens again which likely will- it’s not out of the realm of possibility to get poorly again. OP needs to do it on behalf of her children so they get the support and help needed.

I am lucky I have a network around me if this were to happen so my children wouldn’t be impacted. Not everyone has this. So it would appear with this family it needs putting in place. But missing 3 weeks of school - let’s say 2 because they were poorly for a week isn’t fair on the children. There are cases where children are off school for periods of time where there have been more going on. What’s why it’s the schools responsibility .

Show quote history

People are making assumptions though I did have help within the home . Ds was helping out. But that did not mean i could (make) him to do the school run. Also there was my other teen dd to help out. The youngest are 8 and 9 so not babys. Not old enough to cook etc . But they can get snacks and ds,was basically making them lunch /dunner when he did his. And to be honest a few take aways The school knows our family set up and they know i could not make older DS take them.

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 30/01/2025 13:00

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 30/01/2025 12:05

Some horrible bullying going on here. If anyone has serious concerns about OP or her children you can get your point across in much kinder ways.

In the past (my children have left school now) I have kept my children off school because I was not well enough to do the school run. School accepted this. They didn’t offer to fetch them themselves. I didn’t know anyone who I could ask to do it for me.

I have also (a different time) been so poorly that the GP told me to either drive to A&E immediately or he would call an ambulance right there from the office. It was some sort of chest/breathing/whatever type of thing. He called A&E in front of me and spoke to them and said I was on my way with suspected this or that. I drove there with my teenage child helping me walk and was kept waiting for 2 hours and sent home with a prescription. Things that look incredibly alarming aren’t always inpatient jobs. I have previously worked at a hospital, if something can be treated at home it will be. And if it can’t it won’t. It’s not a competition as to who looks and sounds the worst.

And I’m not sure if everyone noticed or not, but OPs children were ill too so they haven’t been at home twiddling their thumbs all the time. And it’s not ‘a month’. It’s from the first week of Jan to four days ago. So in my school area, that has been a three week absence. Firstly the children then the mother.

Edited

I bet you didn't do it for 3 weeks solidly though did you? That's the reason people are up in arms. The odd random day, still not great but okay. Regardless of the OPs circumstances those children have not been at school for 5 weeks. Massive alarm bells should be ringing at the school and I would have expected SS to have been in touch by now.

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:04

Carryingcarrying · 30/01/2025 12:38

But OP is so severely poorly she says she could walk and struggled breathing. This sounds like she needed medical help.

Alongside this she has children who are young and therefore vulnerable- they need an adult to take care of them. In this situation and from what the OP has made out - she was unable to care for her children. School is the first port of call to get help for her children. OP needed better medical help and her children needed help. Schools are not just for education, they can provide the necessary support by referring to the correct people.

If I were OP I would be asking what help they can give her if this situation happens again which likely will- it’s not out of the realm of possibility to get poorly again. OP needs to do it on behalf of her children so they get the support and help needed.

I am lucky I have a network around me if this were to happen so my children wouldn’t be impacted. Not everyone has this. So it would appear with this family it needs putting in place. But missing 3 weeks of school - let’s say 2 because they were poorly for a week isn’t fair on the children. There are cases where children are off school for periods of time where there have been more going on. What’s why it’s the schools responsibility .

Show quote history

Op has several adult children.

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:05

RadicalRaven · 30/01/2025 12:42

Child safeguarding means supporting parents too.

Any decent school would have sign posted OP to organisations that could help her.

Show quote history

I suspect ss is already heavily involved.

Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:07

mummyh2016 · 30/01/2025 13:00

I bet you didn't do it for 3 weeks solidly though did you? That's the reason people are up in arms. The odd random day, still not great but okay. Regardless of the OPs circumstances those children have not been at school for 5 weeks. Massive alarm bells should be ringing at the school and I would have expected SS to have been in touch by now.

Show quote history

They were meant to go back to school on 6th of January after the Xmas break . They went back on the 27th. Thats not 5 weeks as some of that was the Xmas break

OP posts:
Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:08

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:05

I suspect ss is already heavily involved.

Show quote history

Wtf

OP posts:
Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:18

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:04

Op has several adult children.

Show quote history

I have 2 adult children 1 almost adult. But anyway
Ds almost 18 I can't force him to do anything. There was not a hope in hell . If you can make people do things them good on you I can't.

Ds 22 he does not live at home . He's a police man. His work hours and not good. He's job is very stressful and demanding.. im not putting things on him.

Adult dd. There's no hope on hell again. She can't cope with the kids. School know I won't leave my kids with her. She even gos to the school and they never even suggested her because they know she's not suitable to take them

OP posts:
KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:19

You’re easily recognisable, op 🤷🏻‍♀️

Daffodilpup · 30/01/2025 13:21

monicagellerbing · 30/01/2025 10:23

OMG it's 'breathe' when you say 'I could not BREATHE'

If you say 'it was hard to get my breath, it's BREATH.

I'm off to pendants corner Smile

Or pedants’ corner 🤣🤣

Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:22

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:19

You’re easily recognisable, op 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does that mean you need to shit stir though 🤔

OP posts:
HornyHornersPinger · 30/01/2025 13:24

Op you put your own needs above your children's for 3 weeks. You did not meet their needs, one of which is access to school and all the benefits school brings.

That is neglect, no matter how much you argue how ill you were.

AnotherWeekAnotherUsername · 30/01/2025 13:25

Your DS is a policeman? Could he not find a friend of the family to take the kids to school or pay for a cab? Why couldn’t your DD do it?

KilkennyCats · 30/01/2025 13:26

Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:22

Does that mean you need to shit stir though 🤔

Show quote history

Who’s shit stirring? I just pointed out that there are several adults in the mix, not just you as you’ve made it sound?

Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:27

HornyHornersPinger · 30/01/2025 13:24

Op you put your own needs above your children's for 3 weeks. You did not meet their needs, one of which is access to school and all the benefits school brings.

That is neglect, no matter how much you argue how ill you were.

"No matter how ill you say you were"

Then there's no point in a conversation Is there .

OP posts:
AnotherWeekAnotherUsername · 30/01/2025 13:27

AnotherWeekAnotherUsername · 30/01/2025 13:25

Your DS is a policeman? Could he not find a friend of the family to take the kids to school or pay for a cab? Why couldn’t your DD do it?

Ok I missed your last post but even so there must have been some alternative to the kids missing school for 3 weeks?

Original poster
Youagain2025 · 30/01/2025 13:29

AnotherWeekAnotherUsername · 30/01/2025 13:25

Your DS is a policeman? Could he not find a friend of the family to take the kids to school or pay for a cab? Why couldn’t your DD do it?

We don't have friends of the family . How's a cab going to help the kids can't ho in a can alone . I'm not going onto the dd situation thes a 100 page thread that will just turn onto me

OP posts:
MillionaireCaramel · 30/01/2025 13:29

I think what so many posters are forgetting is that what's done is done. It's not great but it's done. It's all well and good saying Op shouldn't have done it but arguing on the internet isn't going to change it.

OP, if it happens again, please ask for support from the school. They might even be able to organise taxi / bus if you're eligible for that.

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