Kids back at school for 1st time since Xmas break

[Youagain2025]

My primary school children have not been at school because they were ill then I was to ill to take them. The school do know this and were understanding.

I haven't left my house since new year . And I feel sort of scared of going out and starting life again. I feel like I just want to stay in. I don't want the hassle of public transport. The business of everything.

No not at all it was safe guarding I spoke to

When I said a safeguarding referral would be made at our school, I meant a referral to social services.

I am not suggesting you have in anyway hurt your children, but those parents who do often keep their children off ‘sick’ until any bruises etc. have gone. This is why a long period of absence is usually reported to the safeguarding lead and often social services.

Ah I get you. That's not the case in my case though. No referrals for us. But I see what your saying

This is exactly why school have safeguarding and attendance monitors for this exact situation. It’s not normal. If you were that poorly you should have been in hospital ? Your kids under care or emergency foster. Not at home whilst you were in bed - it’s dangerous you should have sought proper help.

I completely agree.

Your children were not safe in your care, OP.

That doesn't mean the school's SG lead won't refer you?

You won't always be told when a SG referral is made.

Edited for clarity

2 of mine have only been in school for a few days since Christmas, I almost kept one home again today after only going back in again yesterday. School have no issues, they know I’d only keep my DCs off if they are really ill ( been a parent at the school for 9 years and running) and given they have made 3 separate calls over the last few weeks to pick the DCs up they can’t really complain.

From what I gather from other school mums and the school newsletter half the school has been out ill over the last month with tummy bugs, covid other colds and flus.

You do realise Mumsnet isn't here for your personal entertainment, right?

Exactly.

I mean, it sort of is...

I’ve been doing it all wrong then

@Youagain2025 this doesn’t sit right at all with me.

So OP your children were poorly- his long were they poorly for.

Your children got better and You let the school know you were too poorly to take them into school and you’re saying they did nothing? As a teacher myself this isn’t correct. They would have flagged this, visited you, get outside agency help in or potentially taken your children to school for you - however with how poorly you say you were this is unlikely as they have a duty to protect your children and leaving them with an adult who can’t care for them - is against this.

The whole think is so suspect and bizarre and leads to awful outcomes for children . It’s neglect on your children’s behalf. What were they doing when you were in bed for 3 weeks poorly? How did they feed themselves etc I’m really hoping you’re being referred to social services - I would imagine they are already involved.

Geeez... 🤦🏻‍♀️

As a teacher this isn't correct ? I was there . You were not . I'm the one who spoke to school/safe guarding/attendance. Why do you write like its fact when it's not . Unless you were there you don't actually know do you . Just because your a teacher and that may not happen at your school does not mean it's the case for my child's school. You also don't know what's going on within my home.

Probably because there are legal safeguarding frameworks that schools must adhere to, and this is the case regardless of where the school is in the country.

It’s a national framework- for situations like this. There are safeguarding procedures that are standard across the board and go to your local authority - it is a fact. It is what happens in England - unless you live elsewhere. It’s stops situations like what you’ve had. This stops problems where children are being neglected , abused , where families need help etc .

However saying that- from what you’ve written you said you only spoke a few times on the phone to the lead at your children’s school- both by you calling and them calling you. It sounds like they’ve not followed the correct procedure - they should have visited / perused this. I’d hazard a guess they they’ve already alerted the correct authorities to take it up further or it’s another failing in their behalf. Schools are very on top to this and your situation is not normal or one we would come across regularly at all.

Just to add, if a social services referral is made please don’t panic.

SS can be an amazing source of support. People tend to feel like they are there to swoop in and remove children from their parent’s care but this isn’t the case.

I can think of a few families with children attending my school whose life has been turned around by support from SS.

Some horrible bullying going on here. If anyone has serious concerns about OP or her children you can get your point across in much kinder ways.

In the past (my children have left school now) I have kept my children off school because I was not well enough to do the school run. School accepted this. They didn’t offer to fetch them themselves. I didn’t know anyone who I could ask to do it for me.

I have also (a different time) been so poorly that the GP told me to either drive to A&E immediately or he would call an ambulance right there from the office. It was some sort of chest/breathing/whatever type of thing. He called A&E in front of me and spoke to them and said I was on my way with suspected this or that. I drove there with my teenage child helping me walk and was kept waiting for 2 hours and sent home with a prescription. Things that look incredibly alarming aren’t always inpatient jobs. I have previously worked at a hospital, if something can be treated at home it will be. And if it can’t it won’t. It’s not a competition as to who looks and sounds the worst.

And I’m not sure if everyone noticed or not, but OPs children were ill too so they haven’t been at home twiddling their thumbs all the time. And it’s not ‘a month’. It’s from the first week of Jan to four days ago. So in my school area, that has been a three week absence. Firstly the children then the mother.

I have also (a different time) been so poorly that the GP told me to either drive to A&E immediately or he would call an ambulance right there from the office. It was some sort of chest/breathing/whatever type of thing. He called A&E in front of me and spoke to them and said I was on my way with suspected this or that. I drove there with my teenage child helping me walk

Shame on that GP for allowing you drive with suspected heart and/or breathing problems.

This just means that your children’s school also failed in their duty to their students. You do say it was a while ago, so I suppose it’s possible that procedures were different then.

I can’t believe you are using your example of driving to A&E whilst very unwell and with your child in the car. That was not a great decision.

Edited to add: Just because the OP doesn’t like the information she is being given, which is based on fact not opinion, it doesn’t make it bullying

I think there are national governmental policies that all schools have to follow, no?

I'm not worried. At all . I'm 99% sure there's no referrals. The school know us as a family really well and are very open with us. I find them very approachable and they have been my go to when life has been a bitch. They have known us for 18/19 years. I know that does not mean they would not refer just because they have known us for many years. But I know they would be honest and tell me .

Why are you ignoring the fact that there was another nearly adult who could take them?