Kids back at school for 1st time since Xmas break

[Youagain2025]

My primary school children have not been at school because they were ill then I was to ill to take them. The school do know this and were understanding.

I haven't left my house since new year . And I feel sort of scared of going out and starting life again. I feel like I just want to stay in. I don't want the hassle of public transport. The business of everything.

The 8 year old was doing work from his hone work book .

9 year old did not he has autism and learning difficulties. He can't manage school work at home as he can't get his head round it.

OP. I think you'd be better off getting this thread deleted, I don't know what you were hoping for. Your home life sounds chaotic and unless someone's been there it's impossible to imagine. I don't think you're going to get much sympathy so I'd walk away from this.

It’s still 5 weeks regardless of if 2 weeks of it was school holidays. I’m in no way saying you have but they could’ve been buried under the patio the day after they broke up from school for xmas. If what you are saying is true and that the school weren’t concerned what chance do those children that need protection have? Regardless of how well the school know you they had no idea where your children were for 37 days. What a shit school.

An 8 and 9 year old are more than old enough to be put in a 5 minute cab to the school door.

Agreed @mummyh2016.
I can’t believe a school wouldn’t refer them to the relevant authorities. The children haven’t been seen since before the Christmas break and apparently that’s fine? No wonder there are so many poor abused children who fall through the cracks.

OP you need to ask for some sort of help, your home life sounds absolutely chaotic. It’s a miracle your other son managed to become a police officer.

Right, let's pivot the conversation a bit here. What plans, structures and processes will you put in place to ensure continuity of care and education should something similar happen in future? Presumably this has been a massive learning curve. How will you better support your youngest kids next time?

This is particularly important if your period of illness also has the potential to impact your work -- for instance, could you be sanctioned or written up the next time you're off sick, which I think is a terrible rule, but nonetheless could put you in a precarious employment situation if you're unavoidably off again. Basically, what plan are you writing down for future emergency scenarios?

Not if they have special needs . I also googled and it saud ch8ldrem can't go on a cab alone. I see if I can find it . Again

So all your children have special needs?

Mine are in their late teens and my oldest was off for the first two weeks, my youngest for the second two, yesterday was the first day they were both in college since December last year. Just thought you might want to know 😁

Was that because you were too ill to take them?

The 9 year old has autism. And learning difficulties. The 8 year old does not.

14 year old does not. The almost 18 year old does he has mental health difficulties.

Adult dd has bipolar and can't cope with my kids .

So why couldn’t the 14 year old take them to school?

Sorry but you do everything you can to get your kids to school. It's so important. Send them in a taxi if that's what it takes. Call in favours from other parents. Pay a babysitter to take them! ANYTHING other than disrupting their education for a whole three weeks.

Exactly. The 14 year old could’ve shared a taxi with them, dropped them off first then on to their own school (assuming they go to school?)

Just stop it all of you.

Clearly OP has a massive load of shit on her plate, which is clear if you’ve read her updates, and piling on her like this isn’t going to help. OP has got her kids back to school - brilliant. She has one child with autism and at least two others with complex mental health issues, can you even BEGIN to imagine what her life must be like? I thought MN was supposed to be about supporting mums? Wtf.

Hopefully OP is well on the road to recovery health-wise and I hope she and her family manage to stay well for the foreseeable.

Yes everyone!
You must praise and enable this shite parenting!

BE KIND!!!

One child with autism, at least two others with complex issues and if Mum's ill she can't look after any of them!

You seriously think that's ok??

She's at school herself she has to be in school by 8.20. The school gates at the younger kids school open at 8.30. She would then Need to get from their school to hers so she would be late.

I can't afford taxis

So they can’t get a cab alone but they can look after themselves just fine for the entire day, day after day, while you couldn’t move at all and couldn’t breathe. Okay sure.

Thank you. I don't think anyone actually understands what I alone have to manage . This includes on going support for adult dd and her children. And obviously my own children . I do it all practically alone. But there's not actually anyone for when things get hard for me there's no one for me to turn to at all . But no one actually sees that it's just better ti out the boot in. I do t think anyone will truly get it.

Thank you 💐

We’re trying to find out the ins and outs of why these children couldn’t go to school. Once we know the OP’s set up we can then help OP, and therefore the poor DCs, so she is more prepared for the next time this situation arises.

Is breakfast club an option? I know when my kids were at primary a few of the secondary school kids would drop their siblings off at breakfast club and then go on to school themselves, picking them up from after school club on the way back. If you spoke to school about your situation I’m sure they would be willing to come to some arrangement so your kids don’t miss so much school if you’re ill again.

But what happened when you told the school you couldn't get your younger children to school because you were so ill. Did they just say "OK, thanks for letting us know, get well soon", or did they make any attempt to engage with agencies that could offer support?
If you don't want this cycle of difficulty to go on, you need to get some backup. I'm not talking about "it takes a village" stuff, but just a few number of parents of your kids' friends who'd be happy (or at least willing) to scoop them up and take them to school while you're unwell.

Sure, some people are being mean, but many others (myself included) are just baffled as to why the school (or agencies they work with) are not more involved.

I live quite far from the school. There are no parents local to me.

I called the attendance 0ffucer /safe guarding. I explained to her the situation ahe said its not ideal but it can't be helped . N9 mention of other interventions. I couldn't have a deep type conversation with her because I couldn't catch my breath to have a deep conversation. I can't really answer as to why there was nothing suggested intervention wise .