Why not married with children no career- i don't understand

[Stressedgiraffe]

I know this will be inflammatory.
I got married at 27 .first child 29 second child 31.
I worked nanny's/ childminder then school childminders/after school nanny's.
There have been periods when I've been a sahm.

But we have worked as a team.
Now teenagers my dh is unable to work.
I can support everyone.
I pay for everything as he did when I was a sahm.
Difference is ill be doing this for the rest of my life.
You need a fall back. You may have a high earner. My dh earned £100k a year then nothing.due to disability.
You need to think about being able to support your family.
Before anyone pilles on we have a seviourly autistic child who can never leave home.

The title and the post are confusing

Who cares for your autistic child at home?

Sorry my dh looks after the child while I'm at work

I agree, and this goes for whether there is a SAHM or SAHD with DCs for awhile. The SAHP needs to stay current or be getting qualifications to return to work at the drop of a hat. A sole breadwinner is only one car accident or serious diagnosis away from life changing disablement.

Yes you have a valid point. I sometimes worry about what would happen if my husband suddenly had an accident or something. I'm going back into the workforce when my youngest starts school.

Odd thread title.
Not everyone has a career. Some people have a job. They are different.
If my husband couldn't work and I needed to be the one to earn some money I would go and get a job.

Do you support everyone on just your wage or do you receive universal credit, DLA, PIP and carers allowance too?

No i support everyone on my salary. Just too much for any help. My rent is 45% of my salary though i live in the se. Can't find anything cheaper.

I'm amazed. How much do you earn?!

Only £70 k

I don’t understand the point of this thread but congrats OP. As you yourself know, life doesn’t always work out as planned and while individual accountability is a good thing, families are all different (not all are two parents) and we all (hopefully) do the best we can.

I agree that having a backup is important.
As you’ve seen, life has a way of biting us when we don’t expect it: illness, divorce, death..

I wish you and your family well - it’s not easy with a disabled child and unwell husband.

Is there always a point to a thread? Maybe I just want to vent.
Life is getting more difficult . Expenses teenagers. Dh has no pension. Everything is on me.

Why doesn't your dh have income support or critical illness cover insurance and/or a pension given he previously earned £100k?

“Only” £70k 🙄 you do realise it’s not possible for everyone to earn that kind of money, right? Regardless of time off for kids or whatever. Im glad for you, but I think you’re seeing all of this from a position of great privilege.

Well, there's a lot of posters on here saying that they are SAHM because "it wasn't financially worth it to work". However, as OP points out, you have to think beyond the immediate.

I think we underestimate the impact of time out of the workforce on both employability and confidence.
Also lives are constructed around you being at home; partners travel, kids get support heavy hobbies. It’s easy to get tied down and for the years to pass.

You and DH have been very unlucky. The total loss of an income is a big thing to get used to. Is he entitled to any disability benefits? What job did he do?

"Only 70k" is about 4k. Our rent is 2k so and bills food etc. It doesn't go far. No savings. I have a pension dh doesn't

Exactly this. My DH had a back up plan for his income should he not be able to work, without relying on me to make up for it. If you can afford it, your income is your most valuable asset so should be a priority for insuring.

@LameBorzoi I don’t disagree. OP is extremely fortunate to have found such a well paid job - our family in which I am sole parent (not anticipated) survives on less. There is an element of life you can’t control; of luck and yes, graft.

Is this a warning to people to pay into a pension and have adequate insurance, as by failing to do so the family is now in a worse financial situation and a renting trap?

That’s a lot of rent. Did it prevent you and DH saving for a deposit to buy a house?

It’s good you are putting into a pension. Why didn’t DH?

Does your husband receive financial help though? Pip? And for your youngest?

I may be extremely fortunate now but have gone through 2 bouts of cancer in the last 10 years.