Is it so shocking that I dont have “the girls”?

[Sidebeforeself]

I was talking to a friend at the weekend - someone Ive known a long time but she is part of a couple rather than “my “ friend if you see what I mean. She made some comment about doing things with “the girls’ and I replied that I dont have that sort of a friendship group. She was really taken aback and I could see she felt sorry for me. I explained I have a decent number of friends but they dont know each other, dont live in same city etc so that kind of friendship is never going to evolve for me. She made me feel very unusual.

I must admit I do struggle to make friends and am actively trying to I make more but it left me a bit paranoid. Not least because when I then considered my other friends I realised they do have all female friendship groups! Am I weird? Am I missing out?!

So because you wouldn't* *enjoy it no-one else should think it is fun?

God this thread is timely! I live in a small city where it seems people don't move away! They are born, go to school, go to college, then the local Uni then get a job here, get a partner, have kids, start the cycle again. There are generations of families who have been friends for years, attending the same schools etc etc.

I like the idea of having these roots but I don't have them! It's taken years to build up a good set of friends here but these are not all friends with each other and have changed with time and stage of life (young and new to the area, new mum, primary school mum, secondary school mum, different jobs, different hobbies). I do have a bookclub group of friends who meet every few months but I would not call them the girls. I think that within that group some of the others has a group they would refer to as the girls.

I'm aware I don't have that group and did think it a little sad when I know of others that do. Sometimes I'd quite like it as I'm quite sociable, but reading through all these posts makes me aware that it's ok I don't.

I do have friends, I'm just a bit rubbish at prioritising spending time with them over my family, and that's not always a bad thing!

I'm 70. Never had 'the girls' but have been out on work do's that consisted mainly of women (nurses) and could tolerate it for a couple of hours.
Had one girly holiday with 2 others - nightmare after first 3 days. They wanted to sunbathe and drink, I wanted to explore.
I've been invited on lots of hen parties but unless they're a couple of hours in a pub or a restaurant, no way.
I'd rather miss out on even close friends hen do's in Benidorm complete with blow up man, skimpy maid or nurse outfits screaming drunkenly along the main strip.
I've got lots of female friends and relatives and enjoy a night with them occasionally. Couldn't cope with a lot of them together.
That's just how I roll and it suits me

You’re describing where I lived for a number of years, except it wasn’t a city, it was a village of about 1500 people!

I wouldn't lose sleep over something like this. Like you, I have a lot of female friends but I've never had a group of female friends. Probably because I get on better with guys (or got on cos most of them are now dead😢) and would happily spend my time with them.