Is it so shocking that I dont have “the girls”?

[Sidebeforeself]

I was talking to a friend at the weekend - someone Ive known a long time but she is part of a couple rather than “my “ friend if you see what I mean. She made some comment about doing things with “the girls’ and I replied that I dont have that sort of a friendship group. She was really taken aback and I could see she felt sorry for me. I explained I have a decent number of friends but they dont know each other, dont live in same city etc so that kind of friendship is never going to evolve for me. She made me feel very unusual.

I must admit I do struggle to make friends and am actively trying to I make more but it left me a bit paranoid. Not least because when I then considered my other friends I realised they do have all female friendship groups! Am I weird? Am I missing out?!

Only if you have a tediously dour and pedantic view of the world.

Each to their own
I am happy to have 2 girls groups
School friends and Uni friends

I think your opinions are strange. Life is not long enough to be this serious.

I'm an adult and expect to be treated like an adult. I don't see what is "dour and pedantic" about that.
I've not been a " girl" since I was 17.
If you and your pals see yourselves as living in perpetual childhood then fair enough.

You are taking life too serious.

"I have "the boys". Far more fun."

Actually I feel slightly cringey when I hear adults being called girls or boys.

My DH is my bestest friend. My second place bestie is also male. We go out as a three or sometimes more and have a great laugh.

It's amazing how many women on mumsnet dislike women.

A group of women being friends doesn't make them uneducated, catty, immature, never left their home town.

It sounds like the Salem Witch Trials when women weren't allowed to meet together because they must be doing evil.

The women in my life ( and I have many because I moved around a lot as a child and adult) have been kind, nurturing, hilarious, intelligent, capable, creative human beings.

I've had bad experiences with some women but that's not because they were women.

The misogyny on here is staggering.

If you see a group of girlfriends having fun and assume they are vacuous bitches that's your problem.

Women have so much to offer, it truly saddens me that so many here would add to the already rife sexism in the world.

People just like to shit on things they don't have in an attempt to convince themselves that they're not missing out on something.

😆 When I read the title I was expecting the topic to be about a double mastectomy.

I don't have a group of girls that I do activities with.

You really need to remove that stick from your arse.

I'm an adult and expect to be treated like an adult. I don't see what is "dour and pedantic" about that.
I've not been a " girl" since I was 17.
If you and your pals see yourselves as living in perpetual childhood then fair enough*
😆 🤣

No, we refer to ourselves as “the girls” because we have called ourselves this since we were about 12. Why do you care so much about how other people refer to themselves?

Nope you’re not alone, when my kids were in school the mums all got together but I found it just a way to talk about the other mums, and I couldn’t be bothered with all that.
i think you’ve got to be that certain type of personality to have these friendships where everyone gets put on the back burner while you have girly nights and weekends away with the girls.
id rather be doing something with my family so no you’re not strange, you just think differently.

What do you mean by “everyone gets put on the back burner while you have…”? Do you mean our families? I don’t think spending time with friends means that our children or partners are being “put on a back burner”… Is that what you meant?

I am part of four different group of girl friends…one for 30 years (school friends) two for 24 years (one is very large with 14 of us) and one of them for 20 years. Have never experienced some of the bitchiness and back stabbing that some of you talk about it. I know I am very lucky to have so many amazing friends in my life that truly care about each other and support each other. Not to mention all the fun and laughs we have together. It can be tiring and expensive maintaining so many close friendships but I wouldn’t change it for the world. My friends mean everything to me and they are the family I chose.

Yes I do sympathise with others who do not have the sort of friendships that I have purely because I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

That poster is presumably a ‘my little family’ type.

Or maybe, like my octogenarian mother, who met my father at 20 and married at 21, she thinks female friends exist only to go around with while you bag a chap, then are retired while you retreat inside the home and devote yourself to being a SAHM. You may, once your children are adults, be allowed out annually for a Babycham with ‘the girls’, but no more if you’re not ‘on the lookout’.

God some people are heartless and fake. At least you moved on with the one decent friend - shame on the others, what bitches.

so on top of the long list of things women get criticised for we're gonna add prioritising their family to the list?

if a woman prioritises her "little family" she's wrong and a house hermit

but if she prioritises her friends she's wrong and puts her family on the back burner.

where can women win?

the answer is you can't so do what makes you happy, I'm a my little family type and I'm ok with that. Each to their own.

Perfectly put 😊

I have lots of friends but I'm not in a girl group. I like the idea of it and it looks good on Facebook but I'm not actually missing out. I met my friends at different places and times through my life. I do different things with different friends so that works better for me.

Yes, when I get together with 'the girls' we thoroughly enjoy playing with our Barbies, modelling PlayDoh and plenty of colouring in.

(By the way, I am being humourous, a concept I suspect you are unfamiliar with?).

I do have a sense of humour.
But I don't find adult women preferring to call themselves children amusing: I find it peculiar and and actually sad that they can't accept they are now adults.

I care because society minimises women. They are not seen as of equal importance to men. Men hold the power.
Women who join in this game by referring to themselves as, and viewing themselves, as " girls" are playing along with this concept - Big men, little girls.
It's very sad.

You're terribly confused. Everyone knows and accepts they are adults. Nobody is pretending to be a child. They're not calling themselves children.

The word girl does mean juvenile human female, yes. But it's also used to describe women if all ages, if they choose to use it..it's widespread accepted usage, and your problem with it is based on a faulty premise.

Do.you get equally confused and upset when we call our children kids? Do you find it sad and pathetic that we can't accept they are not goats?

It is not sad. We call the men boys.