Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

[countrysidefields]

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

I was gifted Herpes from my cheating ex husband, I didn't know for 20 years - my health took a nose dive and it showed its face in a horrendous uncomfortable, painful and disabling way. I was shocked to my core, I was worried new Hubby wouldn't believe me and it took a while for me to adjust and to have the conversation.

I take a daily dose of Acciclivor (or whatever its called) to keep it at bay - since my last recurrence which was 10 yrs ago it hasn't showed up at all but I am too terrified of it to stop taking it although I have reduced it. I am also immuno compromised so advisable to keep taking. Would I freely admit it to all and sundry no and even this many years down the line Hubby and 1 other knows and that is it. Have I cheated - never, am I paying the price of a disloyal Hubby who EVEN WHEN ASKED WHAT A MARK WAS LIED, I put two and two together after my diagnosis.

My view is if you have no other reason to doubt him let it go, talk it through with him and how it made you feel, agree to keep comms open and take steps to make things better in the relationship by changing some things

It does seem really weird for him to never mention coldsores and to never have seen one. They're usually pretty obvious aren't they?

I'm sorry it's still left uncertainly but I'm not sure I'd believe this story.

It's not innocuous though - it's putting OP at risk of catching them herself so I'd be livid tbh that he hadn't had the conversation and was merrily going about exposing me.

OP I just want to tell you my experience with this.

My DP and I get cold sores.
There is a period before where the area itches and/or tingles, usually just days (3-4) so he must be feeling the sensation and then ordering straight away from to make sure it's nipped in the bud.
We try and do that with the Aciclovir cream and sometimes even when we catch it right from the first moment, a sore will still develop but not be as bad as they can be so I'm a bit surprised that you haven't seen anything if it's not genital hsv.

I got vag herpes when I was 18/19 years old. I felt disgusting.
My then boyfriend must have had a cold sore coming as I'd have never have let him go there with one and I remember my first outbreak. My god going for a wee was awful, it hurt so much when the urine went over the sore area. So painful. As the years go on, outbreaks become less sore and less frequent.

I've never had tablets any other time other than vag herpes.

Hopefully something to make you laugh now; my DP put zovirax on his dick 🤣
I asked him why he didn't ask my opinion on it first because I would have said absolutely no 🫣😆😆😆😆 laughed my tits off I did much to his dismay 😂😂

Good luck OP x

OP says he has produced evidence of prescriptions for these meds going back to 2015. He also reminded OP that he told her he got cold sores in 2019. He also says the virus was confirmed by his GP and he was advised how to get the medication. All OP needs is confirmation of this from his records (easy for him to request a section of his GP record where this is recorded) and she’ll have the complete picture.

This has been one of the most disgusting threads, dripping with misandry and goading the OP into assuming he’s had an affair. The comments here about affairs and secrecy have carried on even since OP’s update after her conversation with her DH. If OP has never had an outbreak it’s probably due to her DH making sure he protected her at the first sign of symptoms, and if he’s already advised her about the fact that he gets cold sores, where is the need to continually advise her if the outbreaks are few and far between and he’s acting responsibly by taking the meds ? According to MN Herpes is only innocent if you’re female. If you’re a man you must have cheated to get it. It’s bizarre.

If ever there was a perfect example as to why there is so much shame around this disease, even when it’s origins are perfectly innocent, it’s this thread.

But he’s not ‘merrily going round exposing her’ is he ? If he’s had this from 2009 and there’s a record of the meds being prescribed at least since 2015, it would seem he’s been acting responsibly at the first sign of symptoms and protecting both of them - OP has never had symptoms. He also told OP about the cold sore issue in 2009 - or did you miss that bit ? Where is the need to continually remind OP every time he’s symptomatic if he’s dealing with it ?

Hi, I actually got herpes about 6 months ago but I hadn’t had sex in over two years so was shocked when I received my diagnosis. The doctor told me I could have contracted it at any point in my life and it could have stayed dormant until that point so it may not be as bad as you think!

So that must mean he’s 100% absolutely a cheat mustn’t it ? 🙄

So she can ensure that they is no cross contamination- cutlery, glasses, mugs, towels etc. I need to remind my DH so he doesn't try to kiss me or steal a swig out of my water bottle for example.
The pills help reduce the severity, and for me can even stop the blister appearing, but it doesn't mean you're not contagious at all.

He should have told her for that reason, even if the pills work well enough for him that he doesn't get big visible sores.

Exactly this. If he was cheating - or as a poster upthread suggested, had a ‘treatment plan’ for sleeping with sex workers, it would be easy enough to dispose of the ‘evidence’, not leave it around for OP to find so easily.

Sorry yes I missed that he'd told her 16 years ago, but she hadn't remembered, so wasn't 100% sure if he had.

Fair enough but I still think it's a discussion that he should have had with her - I just can't imagine not doing so with a potentially contagious virus.

Didn’t someone say you had to upload s picture to get the Superdrug prescription? I’d want to be seeing that picture personally.

My point was that it depends on how often he’s symptomatic. It appears that he’s had Herpes since at least 2009 and after the first six months, provided outbreaks are not frequent (more than six a year), the virus is contained in the spinal nerve cells until there is an outbreak. If he takes the meds on a regular basis as suppressive therapy, it can prevent transmission of symptomatic herpes in over 90% of cases. If OP has gone this long with no sign of infection herself it does indicate that he’s dealing with it responsibly.

You may have dodged a bullet by not having had sex in a while. The reasons he hasn't made the effort may have to do with why he was prescribed this medication. Then again, it may all be a big misunderstanding!

That's not his call to make. He's said himself this is not a daily suppressive prescription, he takes it ad hoc as he feels symptoms come on. He's used one pack, which indicates at least 3 occasions, and has ordered others previously.

In no scenario is it OK not to tell your partner you have something you know there is a risk of spreading even whilst on medication. It's never OK to make those kind of decisions and gambles with another person's health.

@CitizenofMoronia No it is HPV they give the vaccines for as it is the leading cause of cervical cancer. There still doesn’t seem to be a lot of understanding of this, which goes to show that enough isn’t put in to education of something that could impact so many of the population

OP updated upthread.

I'm sorry. I haven't rtft, but, as someone who suffers from cold sores - usually when I am stressed - I can't understand why he would be embarrassed to admit to having cold sores. What on earth is embarrassing about something you can't help? It would never occur to me that if I told someone I have cold sores that they would suspect that I have genital herpes, so why does he think that you would? He doesn't know you very well then, does he? I have never met you, but I can tell from your posts that if he'd said something without all this cloak and dagger business you would have been very supportive.

Yes, I agree with this. I would be very, very skeptical of this story and maybe he is "so relieved" because he feels like he has gotten away with it...

Sorry OP, I just don't think this is plausible. Cold sores aren't something someone would secretly hide for THAT long... And he is taking antivirals sporadically but he's never actually had a cold sore? In my experience that just isn't how it works.

It will be a close up of the sores themselves, not his willy waving in the breeze !!

@ Countrysidefields
You know the man, no one here does.
You said you would be able to tell if was telling the truth when you confronted him, so if you do, just move forwards from here.

I don't know if you will keep any appointment to get yourself checked out, but if you do, maybe it would be a good idea to go together, just so he will know how uncomfortable his actions have made you feel.
Keeping something furtive and secret, which he did when he first went to the Dr's 15 years ago for cold sore treatment, and this after you and him being together, for seven years...has come right back to bite him in the bum.

This! And for the coldsore treatment you aren't asked for photographs

I hope you're alright. I suspect not but I do hope that you have someone you can rely on if not xx

He’s explained , when put on the spot , with quite a detailed explanation. When I first read the post , I thought the worst but actually I would be inclined to believe it .

Years ago , I woke up one day with a swollen eye with a blister on. When I went to the doctors she told me “ it’s herpes” , sent me to the eye hospital . Had I not questioned it more , I would have thought it was that herpes . She then explained it’s pretty much a coldsore on my eye , not genital herpes . I’m also aware that you treat a cold sore at the tingle and I do this with just a generic cold sore cream. It’s highly likely if this goes back 15 years that he has mentioned in the past, I’ll get some coldsore cream and now it’s just something he does and it just doesn’t come into conversation.

I've never been asked for a photograph and I've used a couple of online pharmacies.