Page 21 | Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

countrysidefields · 2025-01-13T16:10:51+00:00

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag. All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there. When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores. I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it. Am I right to be assuming the worst?

therealduchess · 15/01/2025 09:26

I suffer recurrent bouts of shingles because of immunosuppression and I'm prescribed that drug.
But...if he's hidden/not mentioned this and felt the need to use an online pharmacy rather than the GP, then it doesn't look great.
I'd have to just ask outright.

Itsseweasy · 15/01/2025 09:27

Meant to point out incase my suspicions aren’t obvious, if you’re sleeping with sex workers in a hotel every month a recurring genital treatment plan isn’t that strange.

PBandBanana · 15/01/2025 09:28

countrysidefields · 15/01/2025 09:10

I forgot to say he did appear very sorry that he had kept it a secret all this time. I asked why he had never told me, he said was embarrassed and that he thought I would assume the worst, which I do understand.

We did follow on with a very honest talk about our sex life or should I say severe lack of it. We are both to blame for this, it was good to have a talk and discuss why we feel we don't have it much anymore and why we seem not to try. We will talk more about it and try to improve things when I feel I have this whole situation sorted first.

He was very worried this morning although he said he is glad it's all out on the open now and there are no secrets about ordering medication.

I have asked him to be honest with me when he does have an outbreak so we have no more secrets.

Xx

I have had cold sores for over 20yrs and I am a regular user of the prescription Aciclovir. It is absolutely not true that it is only prescribed for genital herpes. I used to suffer quite badly from cold sores and would be ill for more than a week at a time. Over the counter Zorviax and similar do not work effectively for people who suffer badly because by the time you use it you are already having an outbreak. By taking the prescription regularly I am able to reduce my outbreaks to maybe once a year. I have never had an STI or genital herpes but I did get chicken pox twice as a child (yes, you can get it twice and it's not true that you get it mildly). Anyway, my husband has always known as it would have been impossible to hide getting so ill but comments about it always being related to genital herpes and ignorance makes it something that I wouldn't want to share with others outside family and close friends.

Alleycat50 · 15/01/2025 09:31

It is plausible but bloody stupid because most of the UK population has had cold sores on their face and unless they present you with a negative HSV 1 blood test assume everyone is a carrier.

This is my only concern is that he is still not telling the truth.

He has probably had genital herpes and is embarrassed about it. Cold sores on his face is easier to admit to while still plausible is highly unlikely in this scenario.

TwentySecondsLeft · 15/01/2025 09:32

@countrysidefields

Hmm. Is he usually the sort to take medication/get medical help for - I’d say - a fairly minor ailment?

My DP would not go to all the effort of a Superdrug account/pills for a cold sore/itchy skin. It would be over the counter if anything.

And you’ve never seen him with a cold sore, itchy skin?

I’m afraid I’d still be suspicious - although it does sound - if it is genital herpes - that he caught it some time ago.

I think either way, there has been an attempt to hide from you - and I don’t think this should have been hidden or needed to be hidden if he’s being truthful.

flyingbuttress43 · 15/01/2025 09:34

I don't think anyone so far has suggested what was my first thought. If I had wanted to keep something from my partner I wouldn't have left the packets and prescriptions in my laptop bag for her to find so easily. I would have thrown them away.

DecayingRelic · 15/01/2025 09:35

I get cold sores on my lip, have it for over 30 years, I just put cream on it when it comes, never would occur to me to get tablets for it

CitizenofMoronia · 15/01/2025 09:35

If you think it's for genital, then have a look? the only reason he would have thought he had it is if he had symptoms - just initiate an intimate moment and have a check. And for those writing it off saying it might be historic, he should STILL have told her as it can cause cervical cancer in women, that's why teenage girls get injected routinely now.

Damnloginpopup · 15/01/2025 09:35

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I have type 2 genital. I know when it's coming. I start popping acyclovir immediately and using cream as well. I have a bunch of tablets kicking around from having a couple of bouts of suppression therapy. My partner knows because it came from them after we got together - they are asymptomatic and never knew they had it, still haven't had an outbreak. Apart from that neither of us have any idea what each other are taking or have taken. Meds and ailments aren't really a topic here.

MaggieBsBoat · 15/01/2025 09:35

If you’ve ever had chicken pox then you can get cold sores - and have nothing to do with a STD.
Ordering online means be doesn’t need to see a doctor so that makes sense but if he spoke to a chemist they would also just recommend buying Zovirax or something, which I have available at all times. When you know you know!
I feel quite sorry for him for being embarrassed, but this is really something you shouldn’t ever feel like you need to keep from your partner for 22 years. That’s what doesn’t ring true.

Alleycat50 · 15/01/2025 09:36

PBandBanana · 15/01/2025 09:28

I have had cold sores for over 20yrs and I am a regular user of the prescription Aciclovir. It is absolutely not true that it is only prescribed for genital herpes. I used to suffer quite badly from cold sores and would be ill for more than a week at a time. Over the counter Zorviax and similar do not work effectively for people who suffer badly because by the time you use it you are already having an outbreak. By taking the prescription regularly I am able to reduce my outbreaks to maybe once a year. I have never had an STI or genital herpes but I did get chicken pox twice as a child (yes, you can get it twice and it's not true that you get it mildly). Anyway, my husband has always known as it would have been impossible to hide getting so ill but comments about it always being related to genital herpes and ignorance makes it something that I wouldn't want to share with others outside family and close friends.

Show quote history

I ‘said ‘usually’ not ‘only’. I am talking from first hand experience working in a STI clinic so it is not ignorance it is based on my experience.

Lowkey28 · 15/01/2025 09:37

Itsseweasy · 15/01/2025 09:25

I’ve suffered cold sores my whole life since contracting the virus from another child at the childminders an early age, so I unfortunately have a lot of firsthand experience with them.
I find it extremely unlikely that you have not seen him have at least one since 2009!
Once you feel the tingle of one coming - in my experience - it’s pretty much impossible to stop it from popping up.
The medication certainly helps it to clear up quicker, but not even once have I managed to prevent it from showing itself at all!
Sounds like a pack of lies to me, particularly as there is no sex life to speak of and he has plenty of opportunity to cheat staying away 1 night every month, but very much hope I’m wrong. Good luck!

What a terrible thing to say

BoldAmberDuck · 15/01/2025 09:39

countrysidefields · 15/01/2025 09:10

I forgot to say he did appear very sorry that he had kept it a secret all this time. I asked why he had never told me, he said was embarrassed and that he thought I would assume the worst, which I do understand.

We did follow on with a very honest talk about our sex life or should I say severe lack of it. We are both to blame for this, it was good to have a talk and discuss why we feel we don't have it much anymore and why we seem not to try. We will talk more about it and try to improve things when I feel I have this whole situation sorted first.

He was very worried this morning although he said he is glad it's all out on the open now and there are no secrets about ordering medication.

I have asked him to be honest with me when he does have an outbreak so we have no more secrets.

Xx

I understand totally. My husband was buying Viagra secretly online and was very embarrassed and upset when I asked him about it. We humans are complicated beings and what is said in some relationships may be perfect and open, but we all have our stuff we don’t want to discuss. I would take it as an opportunity to reinvigorate your sex life and see how it goes. 25 years is a lot of time to throw away with someone you love. I know other Mumsnetters will disagree and say he must have cheated but I think he’s being honest. Good luck with your future x

Ophy83 · 15/01/2025 09:44

CitizenofMoronia · 15/01/2025 09:35

If you think it's for genital, then have a look? the only reason he would have thought he had it is if he had symptoms - just initiate an intimate moment and have a check. And for those writing it off saying it might be historic, he should STILL have told her as it can cause cervical cancer in women, that's why teenage girls get injected routinely now.

There's no injection against herpes, that's HPV which is a different virus.

xRobin · 15/01/2025 09:46

I don’t know you or him, but I know the stigma surrounding this virus and I can completely believe he’d hide this out of embarrassment.
If you trust him and have no reason to believe he’d be unfaithful, I’d be inclined to believe him.
Maybe this talk will reignite your passion for each other.
I hope something good comes out of this for you both OP ❤️

LBFseBrom · 15/01/2025 09:53

Your conversation was very reassuring. Now you can move on and improve your relationship all round. Well done and good luck.

Spondoolies · 15/01/2025 09:54

Sorry OP but I think he must have the genital one for you not to have ever seen him with a facial cold sore. He may have had it from before you were together though. I get cold sores and have taken acyclovir for it at times as well as using the cream immediately when I feel a tingle, there is no way to stop them appearing 100% of the time.

JoanCollinsDiva · 15/01/2025 09:56

countrysidefields · 15/01/2025 08:42

Ok so update from last night, I asked him calmly what the medication was for, I had the packet in my hand so he knew exactly what I was talking about.

I said I don't want to have a massive row, j will stay calm but I want you to be truthful and explain why you have these tablets.

He said years ago, around 2009 he had cold sores. I can't remember to be completely honest, I think he may have done from what I can recall from that long ago.

He has taken these tablets since when he feels them coming on, said he also gets itchy skin on arms and legs.

I got him to show me his Superdrug account and it showed orders for that medication going back to 2015.

He said he did go to the doctors back in 2009, they confirmed herpes virus so he knew what medication to order.

He said he has never had any issues around genital herpes. It's always been cold sores and itchy skin.

I said I find it strange that I have never seen or heard you say anything about cold sores or itchy skin, he said he wouldn't say because he felt embarrassed and would have to tell me about the medication and having the virus.

We have been together over 22 years, I have never had any symptoms of anything relating to an STI, so would sort of think if he had something surely I would have caught it by now?

Truthfully I don't know what to believe, I am going to take the day process what I have been told.

I will get myself checked out at a clinic for all the tests I can have just to put my own mind at rest.

So yes he said he has told me the truth. I have no evidence to suggest anything else but I just don't know, maybe more thinking time is needed

Thank you again for all your kind comments and help xxx

I think if you've been together that long you would know if he's lying (I can always tell when dh is lying!) Did he seem to be making it up on the spot? If not I'd say that sounds pretty plausible.

Bubblebuttress · 15/01/2025 09:57

This is dead normal for people with recurrent oral ulcers, my Gp put hubbie on it.

Rosebud21 · 15/01/2025 09:57

DecayingRelic · 15/01/2025 09:35

I get cold sores on my lip, have it for over 30 years, I just put cream on it when it comes, never would occur to me to get tablets for it

Yes, self-care including over the counter aciclovir cream is the recommended anti-viral treatment for cold sores. Oral anti-viral treatment is not typically recommended, most NHS clinicians will not prescribe it, & if it's indicated it's at lower dose than was prescribed here

Bubblebuttress · 15/01/2025 09:58

But yes, dose is too high as above poster says

JoanCollinsDiva · 15/01/2025 10:00

If you think it's for genital, then have a look? the only reason he would have thought he had it is if he had symptoms - just initiate an intimate moment and have a check

The pills and cream stop the ulcers from appearing so you wouldn't know by sight anyway.

WidgetDigit2022 · 15/01/2025 10:01

If you can see orders going back almost 10 years, then even if he did cheat (which I do think is likely given the secrecy), it was a long time ago. Although if a cheater is away once a month at a hotel, it’s possible it’s more recent too.

In my long term relationship (20 years), we would absolutely know this about each other. Our health is something we share info about. I can’t believe in all that time you haven’t seen a box of his meds and he’s not referred to it even once, not the itch, or the delivery etc.

Why would he be ashamed or embarrassed if you already knew of his coldsore back in 2009?

It doesn’t ring true to me. I think he’s lying. I also think there’s no real way of knowing unfortunately. I’m guessing you don’t have access to his personal account to see if he pays sex workers when he stays at the hotel. Does he HAVE to stay away? If there’s an option for him not staying away, id be asking him to take that now. At least until the trust is back.

Bubblebuttress · 15/01/2025 10:03

From NICE guidance BNF

Aciclovir and valaciclovir are also used for the prevention of frequently recurring herpes simplex lesions of the mouth, particularly when implicated in the initiation of erythema multiforme

Aciclovir | Drugs | BNF content published by NICE

View aciclovir information, including dose, uses, side-effects, renal impairment, pregnancy, breast feeding and directions for administration.

https://bnf.nice.org.uk/drugs/aciclovir/

yamafi · 15/01/2025 10:05

Please ignore those on here practically salivating and rubbing their hands in the hope that your husband has contracted herpes by sleeping around. Judging by the comments on here I'm not surprised he was embarrassed to tell you as Herpes conjures up all sorts of questions. You've spoken to him, he has explained and it's opened up a new line of communication which can only be good. I would personally ask for this thread to be taken down now as you'll only get negativity and told you're stupid for believing him.

Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

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