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Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

740 replies

countrysidefields · 13/01/2025 16:10

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

OP posts:
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countrysidefields · 15/01/2025 07:01

We chatted last night, I will come back and put a proper update on here in a couple of hours when I have a lot more time to write it all out x

OP posts:
Hollietree · 15/01/2025 07:03

I really hope it was a positive chat for you @countrysidefields 🤞🏼

Hwi · 15/01/2025 07:03

I keep returning to this threat to read new comments and always think - gosh, we know nothing about our partners (me included). Really know nothing. This thread made me go and do a STI test. You never know.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

JessicaRabbit6 · 15/01/2025 07:13

countrysidefields · 15/01/2025 07:01

We chatted last night, I will come back and put a proper update on here in a couple of hours when I have a lot more time to write it all out x

I hope you are ok OP x

JessicaRabbit6 · 15/01/2025 07:14

Hwi · 15/01/2025 07:03

I keep returning to this threat to read new comments and always think - gosh, we know nothing about our partners (me included). Really know nothing. This thread made me go and do a STI test. You never know.

Honestly we really don’t know any

Workhardcryharder · 15/01/2025 07:17

As above, hope it has cleared things up for you x

ohpoowhatnow · 15/01/2025 07:25

Hope your ok OP x

00deed1988 · 15/01/2025 07:36

Hwi · 15/01/2025 07:03

I keep returning to this threat to read new comments and always think - gosh, we know nothing about our partners (me included). Really know nothing. This thread made me go and do a STI test. You never know.

I did a 1 week placement in a sexual health clinic during my midwifery training and honestly it changed me. I trust my husband as much as I can trust anybody BUT I will never be able to trust 100% seeing what I did and hearing the stories that I did. Was sickening and would destroying. Seeing what people do to those they 'love' and the blasé way they would talk about it.

Hwi · 15/01/2025 07:41

00deed1988 · 15/01/2025 07:36

I did a 1 week placement in a sexual health clinic during my midwifery training and honestly it changed me. I trust my husband as much as I can trust anybody BUT I will never be able to trust 100% seeing what I did and hearing the stories that I did. Was sickening and would destroying. Seeing what people do to those they 'love' and the blasé way they would talk about it.

Absolutely. This is a scenario where having low self-esteem is brilliant - I have a low self-esteem which makes me think 'I am not that gorgeous that he would not cheat on me/not that good in bed/etc./he is not that much in love with me, etc. I also told my dh when we got married that I would not be trusting him and going through his pockets (I can't be bothered really) - I know it changes nothing, but he knows he does not have my trust 100%.

Foxlovesfruit · 15/01/2025 07:42

I understand how you're assuming the worst because of how secretive he has been about it. Ordering online, hiding them and telling you nothing about them or the condition he needs them for. Does he usually order stuff online, rather than nip to the shop? Like online supermarkets, clothes etc. Just wondering if the online ordering is the norm for him.

MellowCritic · 15/01/2025 07:42

Figrollshavemylife · 13/01/2025 16:13

It's used for shingles too

If the man had shingles most probably op would know the man was ill. No?

HPBrownSauce · 15/01/2025 07:43

I'm only posting to say that I think posters should back off. The fact the OP hasn't fully explained when she said she would imply it's not a good situation for her.

bigkidatheart · 15/01/2025 07:50

I hope you got the answer you were looking for 💐

OrlandointheWilderness · 15/01/2025 07:50

I hope you are okay OP

Beebsta · 15/01/2025 07:55

MellowCritic · 15/01/2025 07:42

If the man had shingles most probably op would know the man was ill. No?

If he’s anything like my DH, the OP would most definitely know if he was sick! 🤣🤣

MellowCritic · 15/01/2025 07:57

Beebsta · 15/01/2025 07:55

If he’s anything like my DH, the OP would most definitely know if he was sick! 🤣🤣

Same!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BitOutOfPractice · 15/01/2025 08:04

OP I hope you're OK. You sound relatively calm.

And yes, I swear to god I will do time if one more person comes on and says "it's used for shingles / coldsore / other viruses" one more time!

EdithBond · 15/01/2025 08:04

Hwi · 15/01/2025 07:03

I keep returning to this threat to read new comments and always think - gosh, we know nothing about our partners (me included). Really know nothing. This thread made me go and do a STI test. You never know.

Always a good idea to get an STI test before starting a sexual relationship with someone, out of respect to them.

TheMerryCritic · 15/01/2025 08:28

@countrysidefields I would be very worried too. He’s kept it a secret. Shingles is very painful and very obvious and there would no reason to keep it under wraps. Cold sores are very visible, and again no reason to be secretive about them, you’d know if he had them to the degree he needed a prescription for them. Subterfuge is a factor here. I would view this as…perhaps we’re not having sex as he is hiding genital herpes (and doesn’t want you to catch them). Though which came first? The abstinence or the STD? If you looking in his laptop bag did not come about due to you searching for something you believe he may have hidden, then he cannot deflect attention to you by saying you shouldn’t be looking in there. Clearly though, he thought you wouldn’t. I’m sorry this has put you in such a delicate position. You need to talk to him. Good luck 💕

Doggymummar · 15/01/2025 08:30

Well done for broaching it. I don't understand why people pussyfoot around. Talking is the best way.

Justgorgeous · 15/01/2025 08:32

Hope you are OK. Look after yourself.

trendingdiscuss · 15/01/2025 08:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Whyherewego · 15/01/2025 08:35

Hope you're OK OP. I got a mystery rash once and it was really hard for me to process as it looked like an STI sort of but I don't think it was. I know I didn't have sex with anyone else and my DP swore blind he didn't and I believed him in the end but it was such a tricky time to navigate through

Alleycat50 · 15/01/2025 08:41

Glad it has been discussed. Don’t feel obliged to update the thread, it is not compulsory. Hope, you are okay.

countrysidefields · 15/01/2025 08:42

Ok so update from last night, I asked him calmly what the medication was for, I had the packet in my hand so he knew exactly what I was talking about.

I said I don't want to have a massive row, j will stay calm but I want you to be truthful and explain why you have these tablets.

He said years ago, around 2009 he had cold sores. I can't remember to be completely honest, I think he may have done from what I can recall from that long ago.

He has taken these tablets since when he feels them coming on, said he also gets itchy skin on arms and legs.

I got him to show me his Superdrug account and it showed orders for that medication going back to 2015.

He said he did go to the doctors back in 2009, they confirmed herpes virus so he knew what medication to order.

He said he has never had any issues around genital herpes. It's always been cold sores and itchy skin.

I said I find it strange that I have never seen or heard you say anything about cold sores or itchy skin, he said he wouldn't say because he felt embarrassed and would have to tell me about the medication and having the virus.

We have been together over 22 years, I have never had any symptoms of anything relating to an STI, so would sort of think if he had something surely I would have caught it by now?

Truthfully I don't know what to believe, I am going to take the day process what I have been told.

I will get myself checked out at a clinic for all the tests I can have just to put my own mind at rest.

So yes he said he has told me the truth. I have no evidence to suggest anything else but I just don't know, maybe more thinking time is needed

Thank you again for all your kind comments and help xxx

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