Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

[countrysidefields]

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but Superdrug do a home herpes test and send medication if the results are positive so it is a possibility.

Is he the type to admit to it if he has actually been caught out or is he likely to swerve any questions and turn it round on you for snooping?

Very sus, Why has he kept it a secret??

Maybe he hid the packets because he didn't want you being like this?

It's given as an antiviral for a number of infections now but maybe he was worried about the connotations?

You can also get nasty infections on your genitalia that have nothing to do with STD but are actually related to medication.

If someone is given oral sex by someone with cold sores you can also get herpes outbreaks for the rest of your days but you won't get cold sores, you'll get them on your genitals. It's actually not genital herpes but herpes simplex. If you get cold sores you could have given it to him!

This is totally suspicious, he should be discussing this with his partner if he has nothing to hide?, what a dick...

Been thinking of you today OP, hope you got the answers you were looking for in a positive way xx

She's reacting like this because he hid it

"shagging someone dirty"

Sorry, are you suggesting that people who have the herpes virus are "dirty"? It's attitudes like that that contribute to people being embarassed and ashamed, and lead to further spread of the virus. Grow up.

Yes your gut instinct is right he has picked up genital herpes somewhere! Found them in my ex’s drawer years ago I am now a carrier tho have always been asymptomatic. I would just bring them out and say oh these? See if he comes clean or makes up some story. If they were for shingles or a cold sore then he would tell you surely?

I have had shingles. My first response was not to get a secret prescription for antivirals and hide it from my husband. I don't remember what antivirals they were - just that they were huge tablets. My husband definitely saw the rash.

I find your response odd. I would be utterly furious if my husband put my health at risk like this. I would be being tested for everything imaginable. I might find it almost forgivable if he had owned up to you but he didn't.

One of my friends picked them up in a long term relationship. She was devastated. She certainly wasn't dirty in any way and she had constant attacks. It was like getting the flu for her and she was really quite unwell. She had a lot of treatment to supress the virus to reduce the chance of her infecting her new partner - after she threw the cheating louse she had been living with for 5 years out. (There was evidence to suggest the cheating louse had recently been infected and he never said a word.)

I'm really sorry @countrysidefields , based on the aciclovir regime prescribed this was likely treatment for anogenital herpes https://bnf.nice.org.uk/drugs/aciclovir/#indications-and-dose

Use the postcode finder in the link below to book an appointment where you'll get advice on what tests, and possibly treatment are needed, & importantly support with all of this
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/sexual-health-services/find-a-sexual-health-clinic/

Yes. Exactly. He knew she'd accuse him of being unfaithful so he hid medication which can be for something you can get in your teens but not have symptoms until decades later. Or chicken pox. That was my actual point. I'd have hidden them too.

She's upset because of the deception, not the medication.

@pollymere Would you really have hidden shingles medication from your partner? Or not told the person you are married to that you had been exposed to genital herpes even if it was a shocking breakthrough from a teenage indiscretion?

My mind would jump to

1. Affair
2. mine night stand(s)
3. Prostitute

Then I’d maybe try to rationalise and think maybe he ordered them for a friend, although this wouldn’t explain away the fact he had all the packets in his case rather than the friend just dumping them…

As I explained earlier: You can get herpes simplex on your genitals from oral sex. And then get it twenty or thirty years later. And some people don't want to share that with their partner because they don't understand why they have herpes or they don't think their partner will understand. If they've only ever been with each other, it's difficult to explain away.

However, it could be that the woman had a cold sore and gave him the virus.

And some men don't want their wives to know because having herpes on your genitals is painful and knowing you did that to your partner can make you feel guilty and terrible.

@pollymere If somebody is diagnosed with herpes, they should be tell a potential partner so that person can make an informed choice about whether that is a risk that they were willing to take. It is shockingly dishonest to just conceal the information. Especially as you note that having herpes on your genitals is painful and people knowing they did that to their partner could you make them feel guilty and terrible. A person should absolutely feel guilty and terrible if they didn't warn a person of the risk.

Hi, I thought I’d offer a perspective from a psychosexual therapist’s point of view, if that’s okay. Finding herpes medication can understandably raise concerns or questions, especially if this hasn’t been discussed in your relationship before.

It’s worth noting that herpes medication, such as antiviral tablets, is often prescribed for a range of reasons, including managing outbreaks, reducing the risk of transmission, or even as a precaution for certain medical conditions. Its presence doesn’t necessarily indicate recent transmission or infidelity, as the virus can remain dormant for years, and many people carry it without knowing.

That said, this discovery might present an opportunity to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about health and communication. If that’s possible, it could also be helpful for your partner to consult a healthcare provider for further clarity on the prescription and any next steps.

I hope this perspective helps, and I’m happy to provide further insights if needed.

I hope it is somthing innocent for your sake .
But I also don't understand why you wouldn't just ask him.
I know he may lie but it's the only way to try to get to the truth

There's an enormous amount of misinformation on this thread so for the sake of clarity - the injections your kids get are for HPV (human papillomavirus) NOT HSV. (Herpes simplex virus). Different conditions and it doesn't protect you against herpes. There is no vaccine for herpes sadly.

Wearing protection like a condom doesn't stop herpes being transmitted - it can help but you can still pass it on.

You can also pass it on if you don't have symptoms. It's called asymptomatic shedding.

The blood test is not 100% reliable as you need to have developed the antibodies to the virus so it can't diagnose a recent infection. The Superdrug test is one that swabs the sores not the blood test.

Morning, was searching for an update but none so far as I could see. I do hope OP is ok. It’s a long time building your life with some one to all of a sudden find some thing like this. Many comments are brushing it aside but it’s not adding up. No shingles or cold sores people! He hasn’t been unwell, they work from home so very much in each other’s lives day in day out. I don’t know what I would do but my gut would be telling me he has played away. It’s what he does when questioned that will tell what happened next, I’m not going to be one of those “get your ducks in a row” Mumsnet comments but take your time with everything. X

Its an anti viral medication and used for all sorts of conditions

I had a scare 28 years ago when my partner got some sort of infection. I dragged him to my doctor and we were both tested for HSV and it was negative. I did not fully trust him or anyone else since, however, and I got a prescription for valacyclovir (one pill a day) which I took to help me avoid getting it if he (or future partners) were carriers. I finally stopped taking it when I got married, thinking I was safe but he cheated on me so that was stupid. Fortunately, I have never had any symptoms or tested positive but I must say, I have thought about taking it again to try to protect myself from future partners or even just in case I am a silent carrier (despite negative tests) and I want to avoid giving it to a partner. Statistics suggest that the odds are pretty high. I posted earlier that my friend’s wife discovered she had been carrying it after 8 years of marriage and my friend (her husband) as well as she were totally freaked out.

I don’t know what your husband is doing. Maybe he knows he is a carrier and has known for ages and never dared tell you for fear of being rejected. Cowardly but some people are scared. Maybe he is cheating and is taking the drug as a prophylaxis just in case. Maybe he only just discovered he has been carrying it and is too freaked out to tell you. Or he could be petrified of being an undiagnosed carrier and not knowing: it is such a stigma that it can certainly drive neurotic people like me into a panic. It’s so hard and I wish you did not have to go through this. I really hope things turn out well for you. The good part is that the chances of you having it are very slim, regardless of what his explanation is. And perhaps this discovery was necessary to get you two to have a necessary talk about the state of your relationship since things appear to have fallen into a slight rut.

If he has cheated, it might not mean the end of everything. People screw up in so many ways throughout life and few mistakes are absolute showstoppers if other parts of your life together are good. The most important thing right now is your happiness and peace of mind, whatever happens from here. 🥰

I would :

1. Assume the worst.
2. Say nothing for weeks
3. Ruminate on it and catastrophise it
4. The next time we had a disagreement over something, I’d go Krakatoa and explosively erupt in a massive storm of spittle - flecked self - righteous anger while having no real proof of anything.

Do NOT do any of the above.⤴️.