Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

[countrysidefields]

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

FWIW, one of my close friends has a wife who did not discover that she had genital herpes until she had a flare-up years into the marriage. The doctor said she had had it lying dormant for ages. My friend freaked out at first but together we did some research and ultimately his wife taking one valacyclovir a day helped keep the virus dormant. Doctors can usually tell if it is a recent or long term infection.

one of my ex’s took the same medication OP when he was stressed or unwell. He caught herpes from a girlfriend at university. He had hardly any outbreaks after catching it and nothing after 22/23 yrs old. He still took the medication when run down to prevent any risk of an outbreak. We ended for completely unrelated reasons -he had an opportunity abroad with his company, I didn’t want to go and the long distance thing didn’t work. We had a lovely couple of years together and I didn’t feel something which wasn’t his fault (yes he could have always worn protection but I’m hardly in a position to throw that stone), from years before, but I accept we are all different and you have to protect your health (although it sounds like he is doing that by taking the medication). I did quite a lot of research after I found out - many, many people carry it but don’t have outbreaks (I think 1 in 3 in US for instance) and it also can take years to present itself - I’m not sure how long you have been together but it could be from someone he slept with 7/8 years ago. He could have suddenly had an outbreak and think WTF - where has this come from! You need to talk with him and it could be a hangover from someone before you met - it doesn’t automatically mean he’s had an affair.

I use it for re-occurring Shingles.
Have been on a low dose (one tablet a day) for years

I hope it turns out not to be the worst. Good luck with your chat. 💐

And she’s been with him for years. I’m sure she would know if he had shingles or cold sores by now.

Yep. Or a cold sore. I’ve had cold sores for 30 odd years and never been prescribed anything more than a tube of Zovirax, certainly not 45 freaking tablets. And latent herpes laying dormant?? Come off it. Someone I know believed that a few years ago, and yes, it turned out he was cheating on her. I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but no.

sorry you are going through this. Sending virtual hugs.

I had a genital herpes outbreak last year for the first time; never had any symptoms and been with hubby a similar amount of time to you, he had no symptoms & has never had any either. We have only ever had each other as a sexual partner and I was absolutely devastated.

I knew I hadn’t been unfaithful and had no reason to think he had, no nights away, very open with phone etc. It was a really tough week waiting for the results and discussing how it had happened, reassuring hubby but his first thought was as you can imagine that I must have cheated.

I spoke at length to the clinic and they said it was possible that hubby had spread via oral sex if he had cold sore symptoms without realising.

please do talk it through with him, you seem very level headed and like you want to understand why he hid the medication etc as if there was no issues he would have been honest like I was to my hubby.

You can buy it over the counter for cold sores prob cheaper than prescription cost

You seem very calm and level headed, be kind to yourself

Very painful. Had them during pregnancy- you don’t get them unless you’ve had chicken pox though.

I understand herpes can lie dormant in the body for a long time and therefore even if it is that he is taking it for, it doesn't necessarily mean he has cheated

You realise Mumsnet is a forum for women to discuss issues they may be having in their life to gain perspective from others right ?

Good luck, i can't imagine how worried you are x

You clearly know what to do here. Find the associated evidence and then open up a can of Whoop Ass on him! Even if he hasn’t been shagging someone dirty he has a duty not to pass a contagious virus on to you.

Sorry but I think it's incredulous that a long married couple would not discuss shingles or other non-sexual illnesses that warrant prescribed meds.

All the posts about 'I had shingles' are not relevant.

Hope you get some answers OP.

The herpes virus is responsible for a few illnesses. Even a whitlow on your finer is related. Also. The virus can stay in your system quietly for years then pop up during times of stress of ill health. Maybe he didnt know he picked it up before you met. Or maybe your asymptomatic. Have no symptoms and you picked it up before you met him. You can still pass the virus on. Don't jump to conclusions even it is is sexually transmitted. Could of been before you guys met

Hope it has some logical explanation.

I’d just ask him if I were you. Prolonging it and trying to work it out isn’t going to solve anything. Aclovir is used off label sometimes also. Definitely ask him what is going on.

Surely it's very obvious to both of you if he has cold sores. Sounds to me like he's not been honest with you.

Just because he may have herpes it doesn't mean he's been unfaithful because it can sit dormant for years

If it was shingles or a cold sore surely he would have said or complained. Herpes seems more likely. Apparently it can lay dormant for 30 years but it's rare.

You'd be surprised. Recently a friend who works in a medical background turned up to coffee with a broken, sore lip. Said it just swelled overnight and she had no idea what was wrong.
I've had coldsores for decades (and get the 45 tab pack we're talking about on this thread) and immediately pointed out it was a coldsore. She didn't believe me until her GP confirmed it. She's seen me have the most horrendous outbreaks and didn't have a typical blister, just swelling and what looked like a cut so she really didn't consider it.

So if his face is swollen and sore he wouldn’t be going down on his wide surely.

Do you mean for passing it on Sevenwondersofthewoo? The virus is active in the cell shedding stage, which begins before the blister forms. For most that's noticeable by a tingling, but for lots of people having their first active bout the symptoms can instead be a sore throat or feeling under the weather. So yes, entirely possible the guy had no idea, didn't have a swollen and sore face, but was actually contagious.

Obviously in the actual OP the husband has been seeking treatment, so that's a different kettle of fish

My dd takes acyclovir regularly and we always have a rescue pack at home and in school. She is immunosuppressed so anytime chickenpox etc is suspected in school she has to be started on it quickly because of she contracts chicken pox it will at best hospitalise her and at worst, well I'd rather not think. If we can't get theough tonthw GP I have ordered it online and paid. Even though she is young enough to get free prescriptions.

Is it possible that he does have a Coldsore or has been in contact with someone with shingles etc and rather than spend days on hold trying to get through to a gp he has just done it via the online private doctor services that Superdryg and Boots etc run?

I was due my period on my wedding day, after 3 weeks of not being able to get through to my gp for the meds to delay it I gave up and used Boots online gp service. Cost me £45 for a private prescription but it was hugely worth it.

Unless your DH has given you reason not to trust him (and a low libido isn't reason in isolation) then I would give him the benefit of the doubt until you have a conversation.