Can never feel proud of myself as DH salary dwarfs mine

[user263758910]

I made £116,319 in 2024. Mid-30s, busy job, two primary aged DC.

DH earned 5x that. His success will always be greater than mine, and even as a high earner I feel like I am not good enough. I will never earn what he is earning.

Because of the large difference in salaries, he treats me like a part-timer, expecting me to do far more of the mental load and traditional gendered role at home.

My achievements are seldom recognised, because his are much greater.

Anyone else feel like this when they work full-time like their spouses but are the lower earner?

Sounds like a throughly unhealthy relationship.

Maybe you need a new line of work...trolling doesn't pay as much as it used to these days

I could not lie down with a man who earned so little OP.
LTB.

How many hours do you both work? Is it the same?

You have married a twat who measures everything to income forgetting that isn’t how the world works

The issue is not that his salary dwarfs yours but that he is a dickhead.

I'm in a similar boat financially, OP (relatively well paid in a senior role but married to someone who earns seven figures) but have never felt second best because I'm not treated as second best.

If you have issues around who does what around the house, it may be you need more paid help- I imagine you're both working long hours. But the real issue is your husband, as you know. Nice to earn enough that you can leave and still afford to live well, should you want to.

Technically, you're supposed to post that picture as well.

Even extremely wealthy people have problems and this issue is a power balance within a relationship. I don't think its fair to diminish OPs problem because she is so well off. If I had that much money and a DH who didn't respect me I'd feel pretty crap too.

I do agree on a practical basis, hire a cook or better still a housekeeper who can take over all domestic duties.

You poor thing

Can you not just employ a private chef or two OP?

This reminds me of the post a few days ago about the very wealthy husband and his wife who take her mum on holliers to act as nanny.
I would link the thread but it was deleted…

Stealth boast.

I'm very proud of the work I do. I earn about a third of what you do.

My daughter is disabled and will likely never earn. Is she not allowed to be proud of anything she does?

What a horrible view you both have of the world.

Oh poor you !

Why on earth do you put up with that?

Are you just doing your tax return OP? Well done for getting it in before the deadline anyway.

Indeed! I love how the salary is provided down to the last £ rather than just £116k 😆

If this is real, I would never base my own, or my DH's value or worth, on what we earn so cannot offer anything helpful.

It's not his job or his salary which is making you feel lesser, its his attitude. What a nasty twat.

I suspect that is because he is belittling you.

This seems like rage bait

Oh op

Hmmm I can see your issue OP, have you thought about taking in ironing in your spare time?

Have you considered taking in ironing to supplement your earnings? Or doing some cleaning? There's such a market for good cleaners.

This is why we don't marry 'finance bros'. You need some self confidence and some boundaries OP. Outsource it all. Get a housekeeper who cooks.

You are married to someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. This is encouraging you into a similar mindset and it isn't good for either of you.