Can never feel proud of myself as DH salary dwarfs mine

[user263758910]

I made £116,319 in 2024. Mid-30s, busy job, two primary aged DC.

DH earned 5x that. His success will always be greater than mine, and even as a high earner I feel like I am not good enough. I will never earn what he is earning.

Because of the large difference in salaries, he treats me like a part-timer, expecting me to do far more of the mental load and traditional gendered role at home.

My achievements are seldom recognised, because his are much greater.

Anyone else feel like this when they work full-time like their spouses but are the lower earner?

I’m feeling very sad and poor all of a sudden. Does everyone else earn this sort of money? I work incredibly hard all year and I’m nowhere near

Agree

Please don't
It's fake

Yes people do but it's 1% of the county's overall population who do.

On mumsnet it isn't unusual. In my part of the world (South Yorkshire) it is very unusual.

Our income is well below that of the OP's but we are comfortable and mortgage free. Our biggest monthly outgoing is council tax.

It also very much depends on who you know and your family and friends social circle. I live in an area where salaries overall are not particularly high, yet because everyone in my social circle is highly educated and in high level jobs( or on their way there if they're young) then I know lots of people who earn over £100k even in their 30s, quite a few well over that, and a couple on the husband's type of salary. If I moved in different circles or had a different family of course I'd know people on much lower salaries.

Is he a generally nice person or an arrogant twat perhaps. You earn plenty, you don’t need to stay if it isn’t working out.

id be looking to at least reduce your hours if things need done that seem to fall on you and he won’t help. Do you need all of the income?