Friend took the last jacket potato ...would you be annoyed ?

[mirandabaileyy]

We went to a cafe yesterday
We got there at 2pm and as we walked in they said all they had left was jacket potato or prawn sandwiches /ham and egg pie
I said to my friend I will get the jacket potato as I don't like any of the other choices.
My friend she was getting the ham and egg pie.
She was stood in front
Then she said actually il get a potato instead
We got to the front and I said "can we get two jacket potatoes please"
The lady said they only had 1 left and my friend pipe up "oh il take that please with Tuna" what you going to get ?
I double check what they have and say again I don't like anything else so il just get a tea.

Then she sat there and smirked "oh can't believe they only had 1 left "

Wouldn't you have just had something else ? She liked pie
I would of just to be kind

Because there was at least one other thing the friend liked

id have suggested we share it

Because the friend would have eaten the other options

Do adults normally forget something they were told literally moments before?

I don't know why you and others are trying to excuse this, it's spiteful behaviour for who knows what reason. Maybe OP shagged her boyfriend.

She sounds spiteful and childish at best.

What is your friendship like in general? Is she really your friend or is she someone you were friends with years ago and now you need to move on from this so called friendship.

If it was established that the only thing either of you wanted was the potato then the solution for 2 grown adults in a healthy friendship would surely be to split the potato and maybe treat yourselves to a cheeky pack of crisps/desert to make up for it. It's unclear from your OP whether you were trying to undercut her and get in there first to nab the last potato. If so and it was obvious that there was not much else left perhaps she thought you were being a bit cheeky? Either way I don't think either of you value each other much so I wouldn't waste any more time on the 'friendship' tbh

It’s not so much a question of trumping as being thoughtful to a friend. If a friend only wanted a spud and I liked the pie and spud, I would have had the pie.

How would the OP be trying to undercut her friend? The friend was in front.

It's the smirking for me as well. She is more than likely an arsehole in other areas too op non?

your friend is a cow.

Actually, she's not a friend, I think she's what's known as a 'frenemy'

I can't believe anyone would spend a journey discussing what crummy food to eat.

Same - I don’t understand people who would let a friend go hungry when there’s an alternative

The friend is less choosy than the OP - does that mean she should feel obliged to eat her second choice of food? I don't think so.

Honestly it's the kind of thing i might do without thinking about it.

If pointed out to me i'd be devastated and of course apologise. Sometimes it hits me the next day.

Of course it's not ideal that I'm like this. I'd rather be more attentive. I do try, but fail often.

but yes if your friend did this on purpose with full knowledge it's super mean. But what if it was completely innocent

So simmering in silence isn't doing anyone any favours. You should either just give benifit of doubt, or if you think it runs deeper, raise it as a greivance and only decide on how you feel after hearing the response. it should be fairly obvious if it's sincere or not

I'm confused as to why you thought you automatically had a right to the potato? What if the person in front had selected it?

Sadly I know a few people who are like your 'friend' @mirandabaileyy I never quite understand why they behave like that and it is awful to witness. I just think of them having sad little lives. I would say that it's done in a passive aggressive manner to elicit a reaction. I just don't understand why they do that.

However, a few weeks before Christmas I met up with friends and we ended up at the local Wetherspoons - two of them have snobby tendencies. I have to say it was a cracking meal and I marked it up as a win! Revenge is a dish served how YOU like it.

Well, quite. The absence of sparkling conversation was another factor in reducing contact. She once talked at me for several hours about her favourite flavour of milkshake.

Well I might be wrong but to me it seems as if OP saw what was on offer, predicted that her friend might also want the only decent option on offer and the discussion around food was her way of letting her friend know that she wanted the potato. It sounds then as if the friend panicked a bit, offered to buy another lunch that she didn't really want to pacify the situation but then decided she was just as entitled to the potato. Of course the mature and respectful response to this would be for the friend to say 'oooo there isn't much else I like either. Shall we split the potato?' Or for her to bregrudgingly eat an alternative but OP should perhaps have been a bit more open to compromise too. Tbh it sounds like they both need to grow up a bit

It wasn’t her second choice of food, though - she was originally going to have the pie.

I just think it’s mean to take the only thing your friend will eat if there’s a perfectly acceptable alternative.

But it does show that their values are not compatible, which causes resentment, which is the death knell to friendship.

It would be insanely childish to stomp off over a jacket potato 😂

OP should have waited until friend paid for her jacket and then said ok well I'm off. I'm going to find some food see ya! And left

YANBU if I was the friend and knew it would be the difference between you having lunch or not, but also didn’t want the alternative option, I would’ve said let’s go somewhere else and had a laugh on the way to the next place about how we’d managed to pick the most shitey cafe for lunch.

As a partially deaf person, I wonder if she didn't actually hear you when you 'bagged' the JP? Nothing else would explain this behaviour.

So she sat there eating on front of you while you had nothing? What an odd person she sounds

Now though I am thinking of ham and egg pie <<drool>>