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Original poster

Friend took the last jacket potato ...would you be annoyed ?

411 replies

mirandabaileyy · 06/01/2025 11:41

We went to a cafe yesterday
We got there at 2pm and as we walked in they said all they had left was jacket potato or prawn sandwiches /ham and egg pie
I said to my friend I will get the jacket potato as I don't like any of the other choices.
My friend she was getting the ham and egg pie.
She was stood in front
Then she said actually il get a potato instead
We got to the front and I said "can we get two jacket potatoes please"
The lady said they only had 1 left and my friend pipe up "oh il take that please with Tuna" what you going to get ?
I double check what they have and say again I don't like anything else so il just get a tea.

Then she sat there and smirked "oh can't believe they only had 1 left "

Wouldn't you have just had something else ? She liked pie
I would of just to be kind

OP posts:
Optigan · 06/01/2025 13:29

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 06/01/2025 13:17

It wasn’t her second choice of food, though - she was originally going to have the pie.

I just think it’s mean to take the only thing your friend will eat if there’s a perfectly acceptable alternative.

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It was her second choice because she changed her mind. It's not unusual to change your mind when you get close enough to the counter to see the food on offer and decide it looks less appetising than it sounded on the menu.

The OP had no more right to the potato than her friend - being a fussy eater doesn't automatically entitle you to your first choice of food.

latetothefisting · 06/01/2025 13:30

PiggyPigalle · 06/01/2025 13:10

I can't believe anyone would spend a journey discussing what crummy food to eat.

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I can't believe someone has got nothing better to do than to post an unnecessarily snarky comment that adds nothing to the discussion, but there you go...

Weird how so many people are falling over themselves to make excuses for OP's friend. "Oh perhaps she forgot in the few seconds from OP first mentioning the potato was the only option she liked and ordering."
Yeah, well, then OP told her again she didn't like anything else so she could have offered for OP to have the potato and she have the pie at that point.
Besides which most people would have double checked with the person they were with that they didn't want the last of one option even if they hadn't already specified that they wanted it, surely? I would, anyway.
Or she could have offered to share it so at least OP had something to eat. Most cafe jacket potato portions are pretty big.
At the very least she didn't have to sit there smirking and commenting on it while OP had nothing to eat.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 06/01/2025 13:31

Optigan · 06/01/2025 13:29

It was her second choice because she changed her mind. It's not unusual to change your mind when you get close enough to the counter to see the food on offer and decide it looks less appetising than it sounded on the menu.

The OP had no more right to the potato than her friend - being a fussy eater doesn't automatically entitle you to your first choice of food.

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Well, no, nobody had a right to the potato - but I would hope that most people had friends they actually like, and wouldn’t want to see them go without food when that could easily be avoided

AyeYCan · 06/01/2025 13:33

User860131 · 06/01/2025 13:16

Well I might be wrong but to me it seems as if OP saw what was on offer, predicted that her friend might also want the only decent option on offer and the discussion around food was her way of letting her friend know that she wanted the potato. It sounds then as if the friend panicked a bit, offered to buy another lunch that she didn't really want to pacify the situation but then decided she was just as entitled to the potato. Of course the mature and respectful response to this would be for the friend to say 'oooo there isn't much else I like either. Shall we split the potato?' Or for her to bregrudgingly eat an alternative but OP should perhaps have been a bit more open to compromise too. Tbh it sounds like they both need to grow up a bit

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Except at the point of discussing it, neither of them knew there was only one potato, so as far as they were aware, they could both have potato, but the friend said she wanted pie. So your 'panicked' situation doesn't work.

Shinyrain · 06/01/2025 13:34

Your 'friend' is spiteful.
I remember going for dinner once with an old work collegaue. I mentioned I was vegetarian so would have the vegetarian risotto. She meanwhile likes meat and fish as part of her diet but when it came to it, the waitress asked her order before me and she too chose the vegetarian risotto. When I tried to order it also, I was told there was only one left! I looked at my so-called friend and she said 'oh that's a shame, maybe you could a normal dinner and just not eat the fish or meat!''
Indeed I had to do that. She drank several glasses of wine, I drank water as driving and at the end of the meal she asked to split the bill whilst I was in the loo. Me, being me, a bit shy and awkward around money, well despite inwardly fuming, I paid my half. She keeps asking to meet again via the group whatsapp chat and all I can think is, 'not blooming likely - I wouldn't let you treat me this way a second time!'
Some people are selfish and thoughtless. You deserved better - as did I.
Don't meet her again for lunch. She's not your friend.
I would have let you have the baked potato, despite not eating those options myself - or we could have shared.

Brefugee · 06/01/2025 13:34

mirandabaileyy · 06/01/2025 11:46

@BigSilly I did twice
I said I'm getting a jacket as I don't like anything else
Then when she said what you going to get as I'm having the potato -I said I can't get anything,I don't like the other choices

at that point, if i had been hungry, I'd have said "ok I'm off to another place where they will have something i want, bye" and gone.

If not hungry? meh I'd have said "just a drink please" then i would have told her she is a selfish twat and i wonder why i bother going out with her... but then i don't put up with people messing me about and i get very hangry.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 06/01/2025 13:35

The world just hasn't been the same since Spudulike closed.

AyeYCan · 06/01/2025 13:36

Optigan · 06/01/2025 13:29

It was her second choice because she changed her mind. It's not unusual to change your mind when you get close enough to the counter to see the food on offer and decide it looks less appetising than it sounded on the menu.

The OP had no more right to the potato than her friend - being a fussy eater doesn't automatically entitle you to your first choice of food.

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I'm not sure not liking prawns or a ham and egg pie establishes someone as a fussy eater! I eat most things, but there are one or two items that I wouldn't eat (one of which is prawns as it happens).

DowntonBlabbie · 06/01/2025 13:37

Gabitule · 06/01/2025 12:00

Perhaps she also didn’t like anything else except for the jacket potato, and she thought you were a bit selfish when you were the FIRST to announce that you’d have the jacket potato, leaving her no option but to choose from the rest.
Or, it’s possible that she didn’t pay attention to what you said.

Why didn’t you say ‘’I don’t like anything except for the potato, are you ok with a sandwich? If not, let’s go somewhere else or let’s both share the potato’’ or something along those lines.

Once she changed her mind and said she was also going to have the potato you could have reminded her that only 1 potato was available; instead, you got to the front of the queue and asked for 2 potatoes, knowing only 1 was available. Bizarre! Sorry but you’re both as poor at communicating as eachother

But to answer your question, if a friend announced that they wanted the potato I would have absolutely let them have it out of kindness .

Edited

You could maybe read the OP to see why you're wrong.

ChristmasPudd1990 · 06/01/2025 13:37

Hope it choked her. Awful friend. Please don't say you sat and watched her eating it? I could NEVER do this. I would feel awful 😔

User860131 · 06/01/2025 13:39

Choccyscofffy · 06/01/2025 13:07

How would the OP be trying to undercut her friend? The friend was in front.

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Edit: sorry duplicate reply

Brefugee · 06/01/2025 13:39

Optigan · 06/01/2025 12:41

You've said it was a case of not liking the other choices, rather than being unable to eat them due to allergy or a cultural dietary requirement such as veganism, so I don't think either of you were more entitled to the jacket potato. You should have gone elsewhere.

eh? no. If i don't like anything else on offer I'm not going to choke it down (and pay good money for it) just because my friend was being an arse.

I'd have said "you're being an arse, bye" and left. Life's too short.

BeLilacSloth · 06/01/2025 13:39

A couple of years a go I went out with four friends, we all ordered the same side with our meal. The waitress came over and said there was only 4 sides left. Everyone sat there and stared at me, obvoiusly I had to be the one to say ‘i’ll just have chips then’ it made me realise I was the only unselfish one there. This kind of thing has happened more than once with these friends 🥺

Calmhappyandhealthy · 06/01/2025 13:40

She's not a friend, so you're being v unreasonable to call her one

Thatcastlethere · 06/01/2025 13:41

I'd think she was a twat and I'd end the friendship. Not in some big dramatic showdown way. I'd not say anything I'd just not meet up again or reply to messages.
In my experience shit like this is a big red flag.
I had a friend like this that I kept for decades. Looking back I was absolutely nuts to tolerate it as much as I did.
Take it from me.. life is too short to have 'friendships' with people who don't really like you and view friendship as some kind of situation they can get their ego boosted from by putting you down subtly or constantly competing or getting one over on you. Passive aggressive nonsense.
Don't call her up on it or start any kind of dialogue because that's pointless and you will only look crazy and petry which is what people like this want.
Just take the red flag and ditch the friendship. Find a friend who is indeed a friend and is actually nice.
This type of shit shouldn't be happening in a friendship.

DowntonBlabbie · 06/01/2025 13:41

BeLilacSloth · 06/01/2025 13:39

A couple of years a go I went out with four friends, we all ordered the same side with our meal. The waitress came over and said there was only 4 sides left. Everyone sat there and stared at me, obvoiusly I had to be the one to say ‘i’ll just have chips then’ it made me realise I was the only unselfish one there. This kind of thing has happened more than once with these friends 🥺

Edited

Stop doing it then. People treat you the way you let them.

BeLilacSloth · 06/01/2025 13:42

DowntonBlabbie · 06/01/2025 13:41

Stop doing it then. People treat you the way you let them.

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I need to grow a back bone!

CocoapuffPuff · 06/01/2025 13:42

Why didn't you both just go somewhere else? Is there only one place to go?
If we both had set our hearts on baked spuds and only 1 was left, we'd go to another cafe or pub. Maybe they wouldn't have 2 spuds either, but maybe their other choices would appeal more. Its not hard.

Thatcastlethere · 06/01/2025 13:46

User860131 · 06/01/2025 13:39

Edit: sorry duplicate reply

Edited
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Yeah but the other friend should have said "oh I also wanted the potato" then they could have worked it out..
I think it's the slyness and passive aggression here that's a red flag.
The friend said she fancied something else but then ordered the potato on purpose knowing that op didn't like anything else on the menu. Yeah she was first in the queue but she could have just said earlier... maybe op could have planned to get food from somewhere else. Instead the friend either deliberately or completely thoughtlessly, engineered the situation so that op was just sat with a cup of tea watching her eat the potato op had said she wanted.
Either really thoughtless behaviour or really nasty. Either way she should ditch this 'friend' she's either a rude idiot or a nasty piece of work.

User860131 · 06/01/2025 13:47

AyeYCan · 06/01/2025 13:33

Except at the point of discussing it, neither of them knew there was only one potato, so as far as they were aware, they could both have potato, but the friend said she wanted pie. So your 'panicked' situation doesn't work.

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I'm not sure it's that clear whether either of them knew but they could both clearly see that there was only one potato in the oven. If I was the friend and my friend made a point of saying she didn't want to eat because I just took the last decent option then I would 100% offer to share the potato or go elsewhere but it doesn't sound as if OP was willing to do that either hence they're both as bad as each other. It's very self-serving behaviour and it's quite worrying that it's being so normalised.

CheeryPlum · 06/01/2025 13:47

Oh, I'd have let you have it. She was getting the pie but changed her mind. So there was something else she liked. That's just mean😕

Choccyscofffy · 06/01/2025 13:48

User860131 · 06/01/2025 13:16

Well I might be wrong but to me it seems as if OP saw what was on offer, predicted that her friend might also want the only decent option on offer and the discussion around food was her way of letting her friend know that she wanted the potato. It sounds then as if the friend panicked a bit, offered to buy another lunch that she didn't really want to pacify the situation but then decided she was just as entitled to the potato. Of course the mature and respectful response to this would be for the friend to say 'oooo there isn't much else I like either. Shall we split the potato?' Or for her to bregrudgingly eat an alternative but OP should perhaps have been a bit more open to compromise too. Tbh it sounds like they both need to grow up a bit

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You’ve basically made a lot up.

It’s quite normal to mention what you’re going to eat whilst queuing up to buy what you’re going to eat. I was at a cafe the other day with a friend, we asked each other what we were eating.

When OP said she was going to have a jacket potato, she had no idea there was only one jacket potato left.

Thatcastlethere · 06/01/2025 13:48

CocoapuffPuff · 06/01/2025 13:42

Why didn't you both just go somewhere else? Is there only one place to go?
If we both had set our hearts on baked spuds and only 1 was left, we'd go to another cafe or pub. Maybe they wouldn't have 2 spuds either, but maybe their other choices would appeal more. Its not hard.

They could have if OPs friend had actually said she wanted the potato too.. but she didn't so OP stayed there thinking it was fine and they would both have something they wanted.
Then at the last moment OPs 'friend' took the potato so there was no time to go anywhere else.
If OPs friend had wanted the potato she should have said and then they could have gone elsewhere.

Choccyscofffy · 06/01/2025 13:49

User860131 · 06/01/2025 13:47

I'm not sure it's that clear whether either of them knew but they could both clearly see that there was only one potato in the oven. If I was the friend and my friend made a point of saying she didn't want to eat because I just took the last decent option then I would 100% offer to share the potato or go elsewhere but it doesn't sound as if OP was willing to do that either hence they're both as bad as each other. It's very self-serving behaviour and it's quite worrying that it's being so normalised.

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they could both clearly see that there was only ome potato in the oven.

Again, you’ve made this up. At no point has OP said they could see the remaining food.

LuckySantangelo35 · 06/01/2025 13:49

@mirandabaileyy

why wouldn’t you just go somewhere else? A crappy jacket potato or ham and egg pie - vom. Could have gone to a nice pub or something.