Friend took the last jacket potato ...would you be annoyed ?

[mirandabaileyy]

We went to a cafe yesterday
We got there at 2pm and as we walked in they said all they had left was jacket potato or prawn sandwiches /ham and egg pie
I said to my friend I will get the jacket potato as I don't like any of the other choices.
My friend she was getting the ham and egg pie.
She was stood in front
Then she said actually il get a potato instead
We got to the front and I said "can we get two jacket potatoes please"
The lady said they only had 1 left and my friend pipe up "oh il take that please with Tuna" what you going to get ?
I double check what they have and say again I don't like anything else so il just get a tea.

Then she sat there and smirked "oh can't believe they only had 1 left "

Wouldn't you have just had something else ? She liked pie
I would of just to be kind

Yes, I do, in a situation where you are meeting someone for what was presumably meant to be a pleasant lunch eaten together. I would absolutely let my friend who only liked one thing on the menu choose that rather than take it myself, when I liked other choices too.

I don't think the OP is a "martyr" and the friend is a "villain" either. That would seem unnecessarily hyperbolic.

'You didn't need to reply but you did'
Right back at ya, really.

I will leave it there now, though. Like I said, I very much doubt we'd ever agree on this. A mild point to be making really, and a strange one to make rather riled responses about.

Respecting someone doesn't mean pandering to their every whim, about food or anything else.

No, but if there’s something else OP’s friend liked (which there was, as she was originally going to have the pie), it’s a bit weird to take the one thing your friend will eat when it’s no actual hardship to have something else.

Can you just stop? You don't need to have the last word and you're making yourself look worse and worse. I'm not riled, you're just looking for a character to assassinate. It's hideously tedious and dull.

I'd agree if she'd done that after they were told there was only one potato - but she'd decided on the potato before they knew. Perhaps she remembered she had ham in for dinner and didn't want it twice in one day; or perhaps she saw the pies and didn't think they looked very nice - whatever, she was entitled to choose the food she wanted and it clearly wasn't an attempt to spite the OP because at the point she first said it, she assumed they'd each be having one.

True, but then knowing OP definitely didn’t like anything else I don’t get why she wouldn’t at least suggest sharing once she knew there was only one potato.

It does sound a bizarre cafe if the OP hasn’t changed details of the food available. Prawn sandwiches and ham and egg pie seems somewhat niche.

Pandering to OP would be if they both wanted the jacket potato and then found out there was only 1 left and OP had a tantrum over it and the friend gave in to her.

They both made a choice.
OP chose a jacket potato, so she should get first choice for the jacket potato.

Why do you think someone not being underhanded and greedy is the same as pandering.

They both chose a jacket potato before they knew there was only one left. Neither was more entitled to it than the other. There is nothing underhand about openly ordering your lunch, and nothing greedy about eating a single tuna jacket.

OP chose the jacket potato.
Her friend chose something else.
Both absolutely fine.

The friend then changed her mind and chose the jacket potato - absolutely fine.

But then she found out that there was only 1 jacket potato and choosing it would mean OP wouldn’t have anything to eat - absolutely not fine and a very selfish thing to do.

I’m not sure what part you’re struggling with.

It’s absolutely not normal to be so selfish, even to a stranger, let alone your so called friend.

It’s very telling that not many people like you.

I'm not fussy in the slightest I just don't like prawns and ham and egg pie.
I'm not going to pay for food I don't like
My friend likes them all
Personally if it was the other way around I would of let her have the only thing she liked.
The cafe was a small cafe in the local park
There was a charity walk on so assuming everyone went back afterwards and that's why they only had a few options.

I would have given my friend the potato if they didn’t want anything else

but now you know so I wouldn’t be eating with her again

I'd just say "I'm not hungry, I'll eat at home later". I can't believe we're 7 pages into this!

Another poster banging on about how 'ludicrous' it is to be going on about a jacket potato, but yet still coming on here and posting about it.

Irony as its finest!!! 😂

I would just have said I’m leaving and going somewhere else for food as there is nothing here for me to eat! That was particularly horrible of your ‘friend’.

Not sure how I feel about that pie 😔 I bet it's either amazing or absolutely vile. Just not sure which

but it's still not a nice way to behave. Even if they had both wanted a jacket potato from the start and nobody had ever mentioned any other option, in those circumstances, personally, once we'd been told there was only one of the option we both wanted, I would have discussed it with my friend and decided together what we should do - should we share the jacket potato, (and maybe get some crisps or a dessert to supplement it), would either of us like anything else, or should we go somewhere different?

In my friendship groups it would probably turn into a slightly ridiculous "No you should have it!" "No really, I'm not hungry, you have it!" etc. where we both tried to give it to the other, not keep it for ourselves!

It takes quite an unpleasant 'I'm alright Jack'/'look after number 1' sort of person to jump in and take the only option, fully knowing (because she's already told you she doesn't like anything else on the menu) that means your friend will go without, and sit there happily munching away, and it's even ruder to then smugly go on about it.

Not.greedy by eating a jacket potato.no However very unkind to deliberately take the only food you know your friend likes when you like other items on the menu.

It's called.having consideration for others

Yep, one (the nicest friend) shared hers with me, the others kept theirs to themselves.

It takes quite an unpleasant 'I'm alright Jack'/'look after number 1' sort of person to jump in and take the only option, fully knowing (because she's already told you she doesn't like anything else on the menu) that means your friend will go without, and sit there happily munching away, and it's even ruder to then smugly go on about it.

Yes, this is it really. Never mind who's more 'entitled', the rights and wrongs of 'laying claim' to something, or which order you were standing in while queuing. This is people and their mates, for heaven's sake, not a court session or The Moral Maze.
I'm so glad I don't have 'friends' who think or act the way some people on here seem to think is OK.

why don't you just say 'without butter please' when you order? Most cafe's make the sandwiches on site

But again, it would be fine for OP to do exactly that.....

Exactly what? The OP didn't order the one item on the menu that her friend wanted.
Or then sit and eat it, while her mate had just a cup of tea, and not say anything.

But she would have, had she got in first.

They both wanted the potato. OP would have happily eaten it while her friend wanted it. md don't start with the friend could have had the pie, she obviously decided she didn't want it....just as OP did.
So much fuss about nothing.

We don't actually know what would have happened had she got in first, since that didn't happen, and OP hasn't told us what she would have done in that scenario. Perhaps OP would have discussed how to approach it with her friend ("Oh no, they've only got one - shall we share it? Or shall we go somewhere else?") or perhaps she too would have just gone 'mine!' like her friend did - we just don't know!