Suddenly single - would you date again in your 50s

[colinthedogfromaccounts]

I have been idly musing. If DH were to leave me there is no way of knowing for sure, but I highly doubt I would want another partner.

I cannot imagine starting over - all the uncertainty and compromise. For me it wouldn't be worth it. Also, I am not a person who relishes company 24/7.

Wondering if this is more the norm these days?

Says it all when women don't want to, and most men usually need to get into another one.
It says it all about the experiences both have had in their lifetimes with the opposite sex.

oh god no way

I am 54, been married since i was 19, would never want another man if anything happened to DH, the thought of sex with someone else ! plus I would not live with another man, arrgggh

And whoever said men can get someone quickly, that is because they settle for anyone. If women did that then we'd also find someone quickly.
And rarely do they manage to meet a younger woman.

I'm in my 40s and not interested. Single all the way for me.

I didn't mean a real nurse! I meant the men have found someone willing to nurse them.
I don't want any more men, and the only man I am willing to nurse is my DH of over 25 years. And then only if he helps himself.

Stpedad in his late 60s got a girlfriend 7 years after mums death. He was very nervous to tell me. However, i am happy for him . She is 1 year younger than him. They spend a lot of time together her family.has welcomed.him and he is enjoying life. I think thats amazing.

She has been invited to dd1s wedding in Octover. Will likely be first time I meet her (I live in different country to most.of my family) sister and brother like. Her a lot. When sister became very sick in August stepdad and girlfriend cooked her food for 2 months until she was better. She has brightened his life. I think thata great.

Sue to this yes if dh died I would date again.

Definitely not men, I would rather be alone for ever. Might consider a later in life lesbian relationship though.

I'm 55 and I'd love to have another relationship. I don't necessarily want to live with a man again, but I'm lonely and I miss male companionship. Sadly, it's pretty tough to find a decent man. Or I attract the cockwombles.

Definitely not.

It’s interesting. DH is the love of my life, and I really don’t think anyone could follow him.

Also, I don’t think I could be arsed to make whatever compromises would be necessary in another long-term relationship: get to know another family, put up with annoying habits, prat about with finances, etc.

But, I really really like sex, and can only do it in a committed relationship. I’m just not built for casual sex. I don’t have the confidence or trust.

So I’d lose out one way or the other. Guess I’ll have to die first, then.

I'm sure you've heard the saying that older men are just looking for a nurse and a purse. Since I have absolutely no intention of providing either financial support or caretaker duties, I'll pass on those deadbeats.

I think the only way I could see myself with someone else if I was suddenly single again, would be if fate reconnected me with someone from the past (think first love), ie. not someone completely new.

There’s a significant number of women who have opted for another woman second time around.

I've always been bi but as I get older the ratio is definitely more heavily towards women now. I could see myself in a long term relationship with a woman companion

I’m 43 and can’t be bothered so no way I would at 50. I’d rather spend the time getting used to my life on my own and doing my own thing than try and find someone to fit our lives together.

I couldn't be bothered. Or at least I cannot see it happening but maybe I would think differently after a while of being single.

I dunno. After being single from 35 to 48 (and no kids) I suprised everyone including myself by meeting someone at 48 just at the start of covid. I thought he was lovely, and got used to him staying a couple of days a night, or doing things together, and it was nice to have a sex life again. But then he ended it last summer completely out of the blue (apparently he'd never actually thought of me as a long-term prospect) and I really can't be hurt like that again - it still stings like fuck. I can't trust a man again, or even trust my own judgment, so unless something casual and non-committed pops up, then no, I can't do it again.

Yes because I would still want sex in my life and I wouldn't want one night stands with strangers

Fascinating thread!

I just turned 54 and have zero interest in dating another man.

OLD in my 40s put me off men forever I think.Too many selfish, immature, porn-sick, grumpy, misogynist men out there who put zero effort in relationships.

I put more value on my freedom, interests, financial independence, pets, home and friends.

However, having been attracted to a couple of women in the past, I am thinking that it would be great to explore that further and try to have some kind of relationship with one.

But again I would never want to live/share a home with anyone :), male or female.

I do agree with the 1st part of your post, but in my experience all older men want someone younger than themselves and usually succeed in this.

FWB yes...full on relationship not sure at all...

No, I'd just get another cat 😂

I am 52 and have no interest in dating. XH left when I was 40 and DD was just 4. I decided not to trot a succession of men through her life and put her first.

Now she is 16, I have no interest in finding a bloke. I have huge trust issues after XH walked out (MN Script). I did see somebody for a few months, but he left suddenly as well and I decided not to bother again because of DD.

It would be nice to have some company for days out, but at the end of the day, I am now used to my own life. I wouldn't want anyone to move in with me now. I certainly wouldn't remarry and give anyone a claim to my house.

Go plural! FWBs rather than one FWB works better and makes you less prone to heartache and your emotions controlling you.

You’ll probably get called names on MN though.

@Scenicgirl Fair enough, it must be different circles we move in because I know a lot of people and rarely see it.
I occasionally hear about it with men who have money!