Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Suddenly single - would you date again in your 50s

204 replies

colinthedogfromaccounts · 05/01/2025 20:01

I have been idly musing. If DH were to leave me there is no way of knowing for sure, but I highly doubt I would want another partner.

I cannot imagine starting over - all the uncertainty and compromise. For me it wouldn't be worth it. Also, I am not a person who relishes company 24/7.

Wondering if this is more the norm these days?

OP posts:
CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 05/01/2025 22:45

I'd date I think, for fun though. Ni ain't moving them in and marrying them!

R053 · 05/01/2025 22:46

No. He’d have to be easy going, fairly healthy, have similar assets, love to travel and have dealt with his baggage of past relationships. A tall order! I am by myself in my 50s. It gets lonely sometimes but for the most part I like my life.

loveawineloveacrisp · 05/01/2025 22:47

Fuck, no. Am already on my second marriage. No more after this.

LeaveALittleNote · 05/01/2025 22:53

No. As soon as I started perimenopause I began to go off men. I do still love and respect my husband, but I have gone off a lot of men, and the idea of looking for another partner is not appealing to me. I’d rather live alone with a dog.

Scenicgirl · 05/01/2025 23:01

Definitely not!
I'm in my 60's and have ventured into OLD in the past but can't be bothered now as I had my fill of men, mostly older men who see themselves as the glittering prize who chase younger women whilst seeing me or those needy men who want someone to look after them without bringing anything to the relationship.
I would never consider marrying again, ever, as I like things my way now and can't see the point in men who don't enhance my life.
Having a comfortable, stylish home to suit me and travel is the way forward now.

charabang · 05/01/2025 23:20

I divorced at 50 and am now 57. No desire to date after realising how much easier life is without a man who expects to be cared for. I care for myself now.

moggerhanger · 05/01/2025 23:23

Nah. I'd get another cat though.

Moveoverdarlin · 05/01/2025 23:24

I would date, I would have casual sex, I wouldn’t want a serious relationship

Offwegotomarket · 05/01/2025 23:37

Well I’ve been single by choice since my late 30s and I’ll be 50 in the summer ( it went fast ) Whenever I feel a pang of loneliness I just look around me at all the lovely women I have known, getting taken for granted or generally treated like rubbish by a man baby.

Also too many men over 50 act like they are scraping the barrel approaching women their own age, even if they happen to be younger than themselves.

I will never give another man the opportunity to destroy my spirit or self esteem when they start with their negging, lying etc the older generations seem to be the worst for it.

Flidina · 05/01/2025 23:46

Absolutely not, wouldn't even consider it. I've been married 42 years and it's taken that long to train this one!😂 and I haven't got the time or inclination to do it all again.

WhatsitWiggle · 05/01/2025 23:50

I divorced last year, and 50. I'm planning to date again, but for companionship. I have no plans of sharing my home with another person. A PP who said they were in a relationship but had their own homes, that would be my ideal I think - get together when you want company, have your own space otherwise.

supercatlady · 05/01/2025 23:52

I’m mid fifties and newly single after a 30 year marriage.
I never envisaged growing old alone but the thought of being intimate with someone new is terrifying, so I don’t think I will go there.

ManchesterLu · 05/01/2025 23:52

Wouldn't actively date, but wouldn't completely dismiss the idea of settling down again if I met the right man - I do a number of hobbies, so meet plenty of people, so there's every chance it might happen.

dizzydizzydizzy · 05/01/2025 23:57

I am suddenly single after many years of domestic abuse. I have no interest in another man.

VenusClapTrap · 05/01/2025 23:58

No, I don’t think so. I’d fill the house with cats instead.

user2848502016 · 06/01/2025 00:04

I would probably date but I don't think I'd want another long term relationship, if I did it would have to be someone really special.
I definitely wouldn't get married again, couldn't be bothered with all that!

ChilliMania · 06/01/2025 00:27

I have a pact with a gay friend. If I end up alone and he is still single, he’s going to move in with me.

Company and no expectation of sex. Perfect.

Hugga · 06/01/2025 00:28

I'd like to date someone nice but haven't met anyone suitable since splitting from my husband 3.5 years ago. I feel that it's 50/50 whether this will ever happen it's seems quite tricky to find the right person. I'm not stressing too much about it, the main thing is not to overly compromise yourself to be with someone rather than no-one.

kendrall · 06/01/2025 00:35

No, I was happily single for 5 years before I met DH and I would have been fine continuing to be single if I'd never met him. We're happily married but I've never felt like I wanted to have a husband in general, it was just that I wanted to be married to him specifically, once we'd met. If our relationship ends for whatever reason I'd go back to my single days.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 06/01/2025 00:39

I'm almost 60 and I've been single for over 12 years. I have no intention of ever living with a man again. I don't date at all. As a single mum my free time is precious so I'd rather spend it with my friends having a laugh.

Maybe when I have an empty nest I'll rethink. But for now. No thanks.

Endofyear · 06/01/2025 00:39

I'm 53, been with DH since I was 17. Can't really imagine having a relationship with anyone else and don't think I'd want the hassle of OLD and trying to meet someone. I like my own space and can't imagine ever wanting to live with someone else. I have several friends in their 50s who are single and happy!

Tearsricochet · 06/01/2025 00:45

I’m early 40’s and very happily married.

If for some reason I was to find myself single I don’t know that I would go looking for a new man. I can’t imagine being naked with someone else for a start. And the thought of another man’s penis makes me ill haha

I would have a nice flat, would get a cat and a dog and would be happy (unless of course I was widowed, I know it’s more complicated than that…I suppose this is what I would do if he left me)

BrandyandGinger · 06/01/2025 00:48

I'm single and in my early 50s. I'm a bit peopled out after a bad marriage breakup. I plan to stay single for a long time but I could imagine that I'd like a casual relationship in my 60s. Mainly to have someone to go on holidays and weekends away with.
I can't imagine ever wanting to blend families or anything like that.

Honestandkind · 06/01/2025 00:52

colinthedogfromaccounts · 05/01/2025 20:01

I have been idly musing. If DH were to leave me there is no way of knowing for sure, but I highly doubt I would want another partner.

I cannot imagine starting over - all the uncertainty and compromise. For me it wouldn't be worth it. Also, I am not a person who relishes company 24/7.

Wondering if this is more the norm these days?

Christ, I end up single again now in my 30's I'm not dating for the rest of my life unless it's another woman. I've had it with men

Solaire18381 · 06/01/2025 01:01

I'm not in my 50's but I lost my DH young and have been alone for several years now. I wouldn't purposely go out to date, but if I met someone naturally (not online) and we clicked, who knows. I've become independent in virtually everything. I couldn't imagine sharing my home and/or finances with someone new.

I've been reading a lot of literature and according to that, women can cope better on their own compared to men who are more likely to find a relationship, many rather quickly, second time around.

I've been in a group situation meeting new people (nothing romantically related), both men and women, and have had a few men "make a move" on me, but I wasn't feeling it (or looking) and to be honest wouldn't want to become a mother to someone else's dependent children, as these people were single parents. But I do know of a fair few looking for a new mother for their children. Don't know about from a man's perspective, as I have no experience of that.