What is your favourite delusion?

[MorrisZapp]

I have never held a violin in my life but I am completely certain that if I had one in my hands I could play the theme tune to Black Beauty with a virtuosity that would make lifelong musicians weep with envy.

Please don't tell me why this might not be possible.

That I could run any small hôtel, bar, restaurant or Air B&B much better than mine host.

(Bit sarcastic.)

You absolutely could! Half of them look confused when customers walk in.

Well, yeah. There's a village minimarket place that we call, "The Tubbs and Edward" because they actively do not want you to take away, "The precious things of the shop."

I live in Corsica so the equivalent of, "You told me that there isn't a Swansea" is, "You told me that there isn't a Bastia."

This made me cackle. Apparently Tubbs and Edward were based on IRL people too, which makes it even better. I wonder if they moved abroad and opened a minimarket?!

To add my own - I'm convinced I could get on stage one day, and give a stunning rendition of absolutely any famous opera. In reality, I'm okay and can hold a tune...but I'm not going places in the music industry. 😂

One day I will win the lottery. I can just feel it in my bones.

I have always had this belief that I will one day become fabulously rich overnight with no effort or intervention from me. I don't buy lottery tickets...

I don’t buy a lottery ticket very often, but I’m always surprised when I don’t win. Genuinely surprised.

Part of me is convinced that if I ran onto a springy gymnastics floor, I could just do a brilliant tumble run. I have never even done a somersault.

I genuinely seem to believe that I could be a brilliant, mic-drop lawyer, even though I'm extremely conflict-averse and hate speaking in front of other people.

I can speak French quite confidently as long as an actual French person isn't within earshot

I could absolutely definitely become an amazing property developer because of my wonderful good taste and knowledge of what works. In reality I struggle to put a shelf up...

If I ever met Patrick Grant (Sewing Bee), he would most likely beg me to leave my husband so we could elope together

I could have been a world-class conductor, if I had given it a go.

I will live forever.

I think I would be an amazing movie actor.

I'm convinced I'm going to win make a winner competition or the euro millions instant millionaire one day x

Haha I absolutely relate to both of these - I get out of breath walking upstairs but am convinced I would be an effortlessly excellent gymnast and when I occasionally buy a lottery ticket I just assume I'll win.

That despite a degenerative disability, being currently without work and ageing rapidly making it harder to get into work, I can still do something important with my life.

I would be an excellent stand-up comedian and author, if only I had the time.
In reality, I hate being even on the outskirts of any sort of attention, and my extremely witty jokes and humour go unappreciated unless I say "do you see what I did there?" and then explain what I meant, which I'm pretty sure wouldn't work with an audience who aren't related to me. To be fair, the people who are related to me don't give me the applause I deserve.
<sigh>

There is nothing too difficult about basic plumbing/repairing dishwashers and washing machines and if only I put my mind to it I could rid myself of the dratted Lionel the plumber because 9 times out of 10 it is something very obvious that I overlooked in my panic and I resent him, his exhorbitant prices and his insistance every time he comes here that I need to rip out my bathtub and install an "Italian Shower" aka wet room.

Well my Uncle Jimmy took up tiling after retirement and became quite good!

I used to think it was more likely that I'd run a marathon than win a Nobel prize, and now, approaching 50, it's the other way round. Also, my proposed Nobel prize will be in Economics, not Physics or Chemistry (which was the original plan).

I could also cut my own hair. It's not complicated hair. It just grows out of my head and needs trimming every so often. They make a mess of it every time and keep banging on about "Movement."

I could totally see you premiering Adele Anthony, MorrisZapp. Totally.

That I can sing, particularly when I’m belting out Think Twice along with Celine. My family tell me differently, not always with words; sometimes the visible flinch gives them away as well

You live in Corsica?! ignores point of the thread
Is there good scuba diving? How expensive is it to eat out? Just filling, semi-nutritious eating out, not the fine dining stuff.