Ok would it be desperate to text the man I sat next to on the plane?

[KeiraBlackDove]

Ok, name changed for this as I'm a 48 year old woman behaving like a teenager 🙈.

I sat next to an extremely handsome 6 foot 5 Canadian man on flight to Toronto a couple of weeks ago. He saw me my pen didn't work so let me borrow his and we got chatting.

Turns out he is a consultant Dr in the UK and was returning home to visit his elderly parents. We chatted so easily for hours and he told me he had helped organise a tour of Toronto and local areas for a dr he worked with so knew lots of nice places to visit. He showed me the itinerary he made for them on his phone and gave me his number in case I had any questions about the city whilst there. He didn't ask for my number.

He is a real dr as I've checked him out on LinkedIn 🙈 and Facebook, hopefully anonymously.

I messaged him when I returned to London to thank him for his hints and tips. He replied immediately and said he had hoped to see me in Toronto!

After a few texts back and forward he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message! So I messaged him to follow on some chat we had. He immediately sent me a voicenote, said I was great to hear from me and tnat he had a couple of long shifts coming up but he would call me. He texted over the next l couple of days later to ask how I was doing and tnat he was on his shift but would be off this week and he would call me to meet.

5 days have passed and no message from him again! Should I just delete his no now? I know he was off this week and had no plans for NY so it would have been nice to have met.

Message him @KeiraBlackDove he’s probably feeling he’s made the first move and you are not interested and he’s embarrassed?

Just thinking..overthinking...why did he give me his number but not take mine in the plane? Maybe he is married and if he got caught out he could say he gave me his number to be helpful, but didnt actually ask me for mine 🙈

Oh, stop it, fgs. Just what about this scenario suggests that to you?
He says he’d call, and he hasn’t.

@KeiraBlackDove you are overthinking - he probably felt that would be creepy and giving you his details YOU could decide?

If he stores a new number under a woman's name in his phone, that might ring alarm bells with a partner/spouse. Receiving a random text is far easier to explain away. "I don't know who texted me, I don't recognise the number" etc etc.

The first move would've been getting her number, calling her straight up, arranging a date and actually taking her out.

Is this true?! Does this mean people who come up as suggested friends are people who have searched me? And vice versa

edit I meant to quote @stripeystripedstripes abojt the fb searching

Don’t message him. You already reinitiated contact after the France trip and he’s now stalled you for a few days. Keep your dignity. Move on.

Ask him out on a date suggest time and day. Worse happens he ignores it. Def worth taking a leap. But then I don't play games, I'm upfront.

LinkedIn is pritty good for studying peoples profiles etc / combined with facebook

I’d agree with others—if he wanted to reach out, he would have by now. You’ve already made the effort twice, so I’d hold off and let it rest until after New Year’s. It’s important not to feel like you’re doing all the chasing.

If you do decide to reach out again later, I’d go for something bold and direct. For example:

Hi, hope you had a lovely Christmas! I’m free on [X day]—let’s meet up in London for a drink. Let me know if that works for you.

Skip any unnecessary back and forth, and puts the ball in his court.

I would say he was just playing it cool, he had a reason to give you his number (call me if you need anything as I know Toronto) but he didn't have a reason to ask for yours.

Don't overthink anymore, text him, youve nothing to lose!

@DowntonNabby not necessarily. He might not be the type and thought he liked her but didn’t want to do more than seem helpful - asking for her number might seem more pushy. Or, he may not be interested at all. Either way, given he has messaged a few times, the Op has nothing to lose by messaging - worst case is to hear nothing, or to hear a ‘no’.

You can't look at people anonymously on LinkedIn as far as I'm aware. So he'll know you've been looking. You'll know if he's checked you out there, if so I'd contact him.

Stop overthinking, life is too short take chances and go for it. Big girl pants on 😜

You can if your profile is made "private". It will only show to the other person that someone looked at their profile but it won't show who.

These are good vibes! He gave you his number because he wanted you to use it!! He even said he wished you'd used it in Toronto. He's a busy man with a full life. That's OK. Just go with it. If he eventually fizzles it out at least you've tried. But don't fizzle it out!

He replied he hopes to see you in Toronto. Yeah, I think he has a wife or partner at home in the UK.

I'd leave it OP. If he does only follow up -great. But don't send any more texts.

"He replied immediately and said he had hoped to see me in Toronto!"

Very easy and charming to say that after you've left. Plus, he didn't ask for your number. Much older and wiser now, I would definitely not call him.

Is anyone else picturing op as Lyndsey Lohan and she's masterminding another meeting , checking his socials but then gets caught out on Linkin checking him?!

This. He's not arsed ... Really, REALLY not arsed.

Sorry but I think you're being naïve. Men really aren't complicated beasts when it comes to women they fancy, especially in a situation like this when OP has made it abundantly easy for him by initiating the contact. Sure, she could keep trying until she gets a definitive 'no' but why put herself through the awkwardness/humiliation of chasing a man who still hasn't asked her out despite the few chats they've had already?

He's not interested.

This is the most hope inspiring uplifting post I’ve read on Mumsnet all Christmas season.

It sounds like the start of a great rom com.

I think he probably doesn’t want to get into a chat heavy exchange. You let him down (a little) with Toronto so he probably wants to avoid this happening again/mixed signals. Perhaps he’s waiting to invest and woo when you’re on home soil and he can lock in a date - just a theory.

Message him and ask when he’s taking you out for the maple syrup pancakes, that you never got in Toronto ;)

Have fun, please update us or even just me. Single and 40 and I need this story to have a happy ending.

All the best with your man - 6’5, works in medicine & might have a trust fund but we don’t mind. As a matter of fact just the fact he’s a cute man loaning pens on an aeroplane & offering Canadian tours is more than enough :)

He could always have asked for her number, instead of crossing his fingers that she’d call him?