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Ok would it be desperate to text the man I sat next to on the plane?

298 replies

KeiraBlackDove · 28/12/2024 15:30

Ok, name changed for this as I'm a 48 year old woman behaving like a teenager 🙈.

I sat next to an extremely handsome 6 foot 5 Canadian man on flight to Toronto a couple of weeks ago. He saw me my pen didn't work so let me borrow his and we got chatting.

Turns out he is a consultant Dr in the UK and was returning home to visit his elderly parents. We chatted so easily for hours and he told me he had helped organise a tour of Toronto and local areas for a dr he worked with so knew lots of nice places to visit. He showed me the itinerary he made for them on his phone and gave me his number in case I had any questions about the city whilst there. He didn't ask for my number.

He is a real dr as I've checked him out on LinkedIn 🙈 and Facebook, hopefully anonymously.

I messaged him when I returned to London to thank him for his hints and tips. He replied immediately and said he had hoped to see me in Toronto!

After a few texts back and forward he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message! So I messaged him to follow on some chat we had. He immediately sent me a voicenote, said I was great to hear from me and tnat he had a couple of long shifts coming up but he would call me. He texted over the next l couple of days later to ask how I was doing and tnat he was on his shift but would be off this week and he would call me to meet.

5 days have passed and no message from him again! Should I just delete his no now? I know he was off this week and had no plans for NY so it would have been nice to have met.

OP posts:
StrawberryDream24 · 28/12/2024 23:08

"After a few texts back and forward he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message! So I messaged him to follow on some chat we had....."

He suggested a drink but didn't follow through (within a week anyway)

He immediately sent me a voicenote, said I was great to hear from me and tnat he had a couple of long shifts coming up but he would call me. He texted over the next l couple of days later to ask how I was doing and tnat he was on his shift but would be off this week and he would call me to meet.
5 days have passed and no message from him again!*

He suggested a meeting but hasn't followed though in nearly a week.

You prompted him the last time, I wouldn't prompt him a second time.

He may be busy etc. but it takes a few seconds to send a message or make a quick call.

If he's interested, he'll contact you.

You're not making yourself look busy, with plenty of options, desirable etc. by prompting him, again.

Anyway, you don't know for absolute certain that he's single, do you?

Single or not, he may have expressed disappointment at you not contacting him in Toronto because he thought if you two met up there it would easily become an enjoyable, fun, serendipitous fling.
If he was all that keen or available to date you in London, you'd think you probably wouldn't have had to prompt him to contact you (after you returned from France) and prompt him now, again.

Maybe he's not single and can't fit you in easily so that's why he's not contacting you quickly with plans.

I would just leave it. The ball is very much in his court.

It's only been 5 days (though he hasn't contacted you when he said he would (this week)?), I'd just leave it with him.

StrawberryDream24 · 28/12/2024 23:14

Re. his height, looks, profession, status, lifestyle etc. etc. - let's face it, he doesn't need to be single for a second unless he wants to be ...and if single, he could play the field endlessly if he wants to.

Not very romantic, but realistic.

Obimumkinobi · 28/12/2024 23:45

If you'd never messaged him before then I'd say go for it, but if you message him again now, you may well elicit another polite exchange of messages that lead nowhere. I don't think you need to delete his number, just get on with your life until/if he gets in touch.
It does sound exciting though!

deeahgwitch · 29/12/2024 01:23

Allihavetodoisdream · 28/12/2024 22:12

He’s not married, he’s a hospital consultant

Hmm I have a relative who is a hospital consultant and is married.
setmestraightplease · 29/12/2024 01:37

Flippin' heck, if you like him then just text him. ...... it's a text message, not a declaration of undying love and devotion.

You're possibly over-thinking things here?

If he replies, then it's all good.
If he doesn't reply, then you have an answer,

But, surely even a knock-back / non reply is better than just wondering and worrying ??!

(Is this how men feel when they're the ones who have to do the asking? )

seaweedsoup · 29/12/2024 02:02

I sat next to an extremely handsome 6 foot 5 Canadian man on flight to Toronto a couple of weeks ago.

Turns out he is a consultant Dr in the UK

Gosh, he will have absolutely no interest from any women, in that case. I think he is just being polite. If he was single and interested he would show it.

Ilovegermany · 29/12/2024 07:45

Just a thought, he sent this would be off this week and he would call me to meet.
Did you reply to him or is that where the conversation ended?
If someone didn’t reply to that I would have taken that as a brush off. I would have replied something along the lines that sounds great, I look forward to your call.

PiggyPigalle · 29/12/2024 08:32

Far too much identifying detail on him. How embarrassing if this thread has been shown to him by staff. Even worse if the Daily Mail is trying to track him down for a heart warming story.
You could have asked exactly the same question without giving his details, so for that reason alone I'd say there is no chance and not to make contact again.

Then again, staff may have shown him the thread and it will end Richard Curtis style. Him fearing that you didn't feel the same way and all the nurses applauding when you both kiss.

penelopelondon · 29/12/2024 10:29

StrawberryDream24 · 28/12/2024 23:08

"After a few texts back and forward he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message! So I messaged him to follow on some chat we had....."

He suggested a drink but didn't follow through (within a week anyway)

He immediately sent me a voicenote, said I was great to hear from me and tnat he had a couple of long shifts coming up but he would call me. He texted over the next l couple of days later to ask how I was doing and tnat he was on his shift but would be off this week and he would call me to meet.
5 days have passed and no message from him again!*

He suggested a meeting but hasn't followed though in nearly a week.

You prompted him the last time, I wouldn't prompt him a second time.

He may be busy etc. but it takes a few seconds to send a message or make a quick call.

If he's interested, he'll contact you.

You're not making yourself look busy, with plenty of options, desirable etc. by prompting him, again.

Anyway, you don't know for absolute certain that he's single, do you?

Single or not, he may have expressed disappointment at you not contacting him in Toronto because he thought if you two met up there it would easily become an enjoyable, fun, serendipitous fling.
If he was all that keen or available to date you in London, you'd think you probably wouldn't have had to prompt him to contact you (after you returned from France) and prompt him now, again.

Maybe he's not single and can't fit you in easily so that's why he's not contacting you quickly with plans.

I would just leave it. The ball is very much in his court.

It's only been 5 days (though he hasn't contacted you when he said he would (this week)?), I'd just leave it with him.

Edited

Sadly I have to agree with this, if he was keen he would have text you something in the lines of "I live in London, why don't we organise a drink once we're not busy travelling?" or something in the lines. Feel free to text him and let him know, you loose nothing.

deeahgwitch · 29/12/2024 11:35

Text him a Happy New Year message.
If he replies and arranges a meet up, great.
If he doesn't respond or just texts back Happy New Year to you, leave it as it shows he's not into you or not "available" @KeiraBlackDove

penelopelondon · 29/12/2024 12:09

deeahgwitch · 29/12/2024 11:35

Text him a Happy New Year message.
If he replies and arranges a meet up, great.
If he doesn't respond or just texts back Happy New Year to you, leave it as it shows he's not into you or not "available" @KeiraBlackDove

Why walking on eggshells and expecting him to read her mind like a psychic? Why not sending a text and asking him out for a drink in London? If he says "yes" then all good and he says "no" then now you know and move on. Next! Why the wishy washy attitude?

StrawberryDream24 · 29/12/2024 12:51

Why not sending a text and asking him out for a drink in London?

He's already suggested a drink/meeting in London twice and not followed through on arranging it.

Are posters actually reading this thread?

The first time op messaged him, after a week of no follow through.

She's now on 5 plus days of no follow through (again)..... But she should message him, again?!

If you have to prompt and badger someone to make arrangements/follow through on a suggestion, are they really interested?

You're starting to chase.

I would leave it up to him.

The op should be too busy, with other options, to keep prompting him.

StrawberryDream24 · 29/12/2024 12:55

I would also question whether a tall, good looking, pleasant, not shy (a man who offers pens to strangers beside him, then engaged them in conversation, gives them a tourist itinerary, and gives them his mobile number ..is most definitely not shy/lacking in social skills) medical professional would be truly single.

He's not going to be short of opportunities, at the very least.

I'm inclined to think he gave the number in the hope that the op, away in a foreign place on her own (?) for a period, would contact him while there and they would have a pleasant time together, flirtation, and probably some sex ...... Back home in London, I don't think it's as convenient for him. For whatever reasons.

That's why he said he wished/expected to have heard from her In Toronto, and is now being pleasant and talking about meeting up, but not actually following through promptly on meeting up (or possibly at all).

Who knows what his relationship status is.

Bluesteps · 29/12/2024 13:06

Can you look at his social media etc....make sure there is no wife

crunchermuncher · 29/12/2024 13:57

penelopelondon · 29/12/2024 12:09

Why walking on eggshells and expecting him to read her mind like a psychic? Why not sending a text and asking him out for a drink in London? If he says "yes" then all good and he says "no" then now you know and move on. Next! Why the wishy washy attitude?

Edited

It's not walking on eggshells - she wouldn't be texting him if she wasn't interested. She's already made it clear that she is, she's not expecting him to be a mind reader.

Chasing him might secure her a date (or if she's up for it, a no strings shag which is probably what he's after) but it's unlikely to lead to any kind of satisfactory relationship.

She's setting it up that she will do all the running, all the work. He's got no incentive to bother.

Been there, done that (got divorced after!!)

If OP just wants a fun night out then as you say, why not? But she seems very invested and therefore vulnerable. Someone upthread made a good analogy with smoking just one cigarette/ sending him just one more text. It won't be satisfying in the long run -It's likely just kicking the question of 'does he really like me? ' down the road again (which will turn into again. And again. And again).

If someone doesn't show that they really want you, either they are unable to express this (and therefore best avoided) or they don't really want you 🤷‍♀️

Augustus40 · 29/12/2024 15:18

I wd put money on the fact he is married and likes to flirt as it boosts his ego. The End.

Lavenderfarmcottage · 31/12/2024 17:18

Did you text him ? I need to know how this Hallmark movie continues or ends.

WoolySnail · 01/01/2025 19:51

Any update OP?x

MistletoeAndWine123 · 02/01/2025 10:37

Well... did you text him?

Emptyandsad · 02/01/2025 10:59

She's too busy shagging him to bother with updating us 😂

HomeworkMonitor · 02/01/2025 11:14

The bit missing is whether the OP replied to his suggestions or left him hanging. Nowhere does OP say she responds to his messages.

OP texts him and suggests an afternoon meeting to see what happens; FFS, there is so much drama and overhype, and the situation will be over before it starts.

deeahgwitch · 27/02/2025 09:16

Any update @KeiraBlackDove ?

Geesgirl · 04/03/2025 18:10

This reminds me of those threads should I ask the plumber out.

My ex was a tradesmen, the nicest man. He would come home, give me his phone and I'd reply.

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