Ok would it be desperate to text the man I sat next to on the plane?

[KeiraBlackDove]

Ok, name changed for this as I'm a 48 year old woman behaving like a teenager 🙈.

I sat next to an extremely handsome 6 foot 5 Canadian man on flight to Toronto a couple of weeks ago. He saw me my pen didn't work so let me borrow his and we got chatting.

Turns out he is a consultant Dr in the UK and was returning home to visit his elderly parents. We chatted so easily for hours and he told me he had helped organise a tour of Toronto and local areas for a dr he worked with so knew lots of nice places to visit. He showed me the itinerary he made for them on his phone and gave me his number in case I had any questions about the city whilst there. He didn't ask for my number.

He is a real dr as I've checked him out on LinkedIn 🙈 and Facebook, hopefully anonymously.

I messaged him when I returned to London to thank him for his hints and tips. He replied immediately and said he had hoped to see me in Toronto!

After a few texts back and forward he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message! So I messaged him to follow on some chat we had. He immediately sent me a voicenote, said I was great to hear from me and tnat he had a couple of long shifts coming up but he would call me. He texted over the next l couple of days later to ask how I was doing and tnat he was on his shift but would be off this week and he would call me to meet.

5 days have passed and no message from him again! Should I just delete his no now? I know he was off this week and had no plans for NY so it would have been nice to have met.

What is it that's stopping you?
Just text, be done with it, then at least you (and all of us!!) will know.

OP I messaged DH happy new year in a tipsy moment when I had some Dutch courage inside me. We’ve now been married nearly ten years!

Thanks everyone - I think I've also come to the conclusion that he may be married or in some sort of relationship but I will text him a Happy New Year message on 1st and then leave it at that. If replies then great, and if he doesn't then that's fine also.

I wouldn't assume he's married. I have a couple of gorgeous, successful friends who happen to be single at the moment. They both were in relationships and had kids but just didn't work out and recently became single. You don't know what his situation is.

Just thinking that as an O & G Consultant his work will have been very intense and busy especially over Xmas and he may well be exhausted and drained after being on call . I think it is difficult to get a good response from him if the timing is wrong and I would be more inclined to wait rather than messaging him when he is overloaded / fully occupied with nothing to give .
Also time may go so quickly and differently for him on call and he will be surrounded by people and interesting dramatic events and he may well be fully immersed.
I would be inclined to send a friendly generic message over the New Year but to be generous in the timing of his reply . I had years myself on call as a doctor and I was always rather stressed and completely relieved when it was over .

Don't wait till the 1st, it'll hang over you till then and your apprehension (and possible expectations) will increase and you'll go batty!!
Do it tonight, nothing too loose then you know and come NY day you move on, one way or another.
Just a chatty, hi, how are you, hope you had a lovely Christmas or similar.
Go for it.

I have just text a guy I like and we are meeting up on Mon! If you don't try you'll never know. Good luck OP!

Maybe, maybe not?
You may miss the boat if you leave it too long. Timing is everything.
Good luck.

No no no! A tall handsome doctor who seems keen! Don’t wait around, message now and ask about NYE plans 😅

Text him! What have you got to lose ☺️

Def don't message immediately as will sound a little desperate. Wait until New year and send him a 'happy NY' message, with no mention of meeting up. See what happens, but don't get too excited.

Yes, of course, if I were him, I’d assume you weren’t that interested because you hadn’t really been assertive to firm up plans. He’s giving you an out in case you really don’t want to meet up, but you do. So message and suggest a day/time.

Doubt he’s single

Do people really fanny about like that? Half asking someone out but not being definite so as to give them an “out” (like they couldn’t just say No)?
Op contacted him.

Dont message him

if he was interested, he would have made it clear.

i mean message him if you want, but I don’t think he’s interested in that way

@Wimbledonmum1985 none of us knows though. Being a successful medic doesn’t stop him acting on impulse even if out of character.

It looks like you missed out on having a blast with him (and possibly meeting his family) in Toronto. Who knows?

I don’t immediately trust men/people in general, as soon as I meet them but I sense a lot of negativity on this thread.
There are a lot of naysayers here, but you’ve got nothing to lose.

Send the message, meet up and ask direct questions to ascertain if he’s single. Follow up Detective style if your gut tells you anything doesn’t add up.

To the PP who asked - you block and delete to ensure that there it absolutely no chance of either of you being able to contact each other again (even when a little intoxicated).

This. And he may still message you. Don’t do all the work unless that is how you mean to go on. You’ve already initiated contact first multiple times.

Oh ffs, that one wasn't on my 'how I hurt my knob' bingo card 😂

I'd give it a week plus or at the very earliest send a general 'happy new year's text out

He’s not married, he’s a hospital consultant

Does being a consultant preclude marriage, then? Don’t think so.

he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message!

Did you say yes to the drink? Did you offer a date/time you were available, or were you waiting for him to suggest one?

Don't drag it out any longer. Just be direct and ask if he'd like to meet at a specific venue on a specific date. If he says yes, great. If he says he can't make it but offers an alternative date, great. If he says he can't make it and offers no alternative date then you know he's not interested.

What the actual fuck

Please explain how you’ve come to this conclusion?