Ok would it be desperate to text the man I sat next to on the plane?

[KeiraBlackDove]

Ok, name changed for this as I'm a 48 year old woman behaving like a teenager 🙈.

I sat next to an extremely handsome 6 foot 5 Canadian man on flight to Toronto a couple of weeks ago. He saw me my pen didn't work so let me borrow his and we got chatting.

Turns out he is a consultant Dr in the UK and was returning home to visit his elderly parents. We chatted so easily for hours and he told me he had helped organise a tour of Toronto and local areas for a dr he worked with so knew lots of nice places to visit. He showed me the itinerary he made for them on his phone and gave me his number in case I had any questions about the city whilst there. He didn't ask for my number.

He is a real dr as I've checked him out on LinkedIn 🙈 and Facebook, hopefully anonymously.

I messaged him when I returned to London to thank him for his hints and tips. He replied immediately and said he had hoped to see me in Toronto!

After a few texts back and forward he asked me to meet him for drink when one day when I returned from France - I was there with work - and he sent me a 'xx'.
A week passed and he didnt message! So I messaged him to follow on some chat we had. He immediately sent me a voicenote, said I was great to hear from me and tnat he had a couple of long shifts coming up but he would call me. He texted over the next l couple of days later to ask how I was doing and tnat he was on his shift but would be off this week and he would call me to meet.

5 days have passed and no message from him again! Should I just delete his no now? I know he was off this week and had no plans for NY so it would have been nice to have met.

If he’s a consultant then he may well be on call etc and hospitals over this period can be manic so I wouldn’t say 5 days is a bad sign.

Just message him … if he then doesn’t reply or fobs you off again then at least you know.

Oh come on he loaned a pen & then talked himself up as a tour guide. He also asked her to let him know when she was in town.

This is a nice story, unless he’s that doctor from Netflix with 2 wives.

Just because he’s a doctor doesn’t meant he has lots of options. Work is for being professional and he probably has limited time to socialise.

Honestly, I would leave him to contact you now.

Message - you have nothing to lose!

Exactly !!! Ask him about maple syrup. 🍁

im leaving this thread now before I implode with desperation & vicarious excitement.

Op, if this guy was keen, he'd have asked for your number, most definitely.

Men go after what they want.

This

Just message him OP. What have you got to lose? If he doesn't reply or declines to meet you, you'll have lost nothing. And if he replies and you hit it off, could be fun

He gave her his number and probably felt confident she’d call cos he’s a hot as hell 6’5 doctor BUT she never did !!

Dont listen to these women begging you to preserve your dignity. What for ?

Is there a dignity awards night ? Do all the men who didn’t call gather around praising the women they rejected for being dignified, and clapping for them ?

Op the next time they try and give you their number and you like them, give them your number instead. That way you don't have to stress about contacting them / initiating anything. They can then chase you! However, as he hasn't got back to you/ suggested arranging something, you can surmise he isn't really interested. I don't think shyness is an issue from what you've said already. Agree that he could have been looking for some fun in toronto when away from home / possible family etc.

I’m not sure I would chase him. As you seem to have made more effort than him. Maybe a happy new year message and leave it at that. I think his job isn’t that important in the details. He still needs to make an effort with you.

Message him. Why wouldn’t you ? Go for it - good luck.

I can't believe what I'm reading here. You think women should prostrate themselves at men's feet at the expense of their dignity and self-esteem?

Does he have a trust fund?

As you know his name and where he lives, you could look on 192.com to see if there is a Mrs ?

I think it depends who sent the last message. I may have missed that, sorry if I did.

You know, if nothing else he could turn out to be a nice friend. It doesn't have to be potential romance or high stakes.

Over analysing it seems desperate, tbh.

the problem with that is that female surgeons often continue to use their maiden names for professional reasons.

She's been in touch with him several times, why not leave it to him now?

Lord Woman! Even my now-DH did not seem that keen the first time we met and I moved in the second time we met! (24 years and counting).

Message him you fool!

Not exactly what I’m saying.

Many women have said OP should preserve her dignity by not calling.

OP likes this man, he is very eligible and she would like to date him. There are perhaps other women waiting in the wings.

I am advising OP to give it her best shot and forget about ‘dignity’. The worst case scenario is that the Obgyn thinks she’s undignified and a bit thirsty - so what - highly
unlikely this will have any direct consequence on her life or reputation.

If it’s a question of self respect, if you think less of yourself for texting back a second time and that’s your biggest cringe or regret then she’s surely been living in a bubble.

I am saying op should go after what and who she wants because life doesn’t hand it to you on a platter. Nobody comes along on a horse saying “I saw you there all quiet and dignified”.

There’s a time where playing it cool is a good idea but right now, when there’s nothing to lose I think go for it.

Yeah that's not creepy?!
Imagine this in reverse! There would be Hell on about stalking and weird behaviour .

You don't say how you responded to his various suggestions to meet. But assuming you didn't say 'That would be great, when works for you?' then he may not be getting the feeling that you are interested.

I'd just text him and see if he can make an arrangement. If he brushes you off, you won't see him again anyway so any embarrassment doesn't matter....

He's showing you how he feels with every passing day that he doesn't write

I'd leave the ball in his court now I think.