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Original poster

Why would people not believe me?

464 replies

sarahlayton06 · 23/12/2024 11:43

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/12/2024 11:47

You've never proved that you can do it, that's why.

WolfFoxHare · 23/12/2024 11:49

This. Anyone could say they’re capable of A star grades, but something out of their control always prevents them achieving.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 23/12/2024 11:49

Because you’re only capable of top grades if you can actually get over the line and get the grades.

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wednesday32 · 23/12/2024 11:49

It sounds like they have made a judgment based on what results you did get, not what you could have got. Focus on yourself and not worry about how other people view you; their opinion is not essential.

OrsolaRosso · 23/12/2024 11:51

How old are you, and how long ago was this? What were your predicted grades?
Are you planning to retake?
I think it's quite arrogant to say that you could have done much better but you just didn't put the work in.
At the end of the day, what matters are the actual results, not what people believe you should have got.

ByHeartyCyanMentor · 23/12/2024 11:51

I believe you. But only because back in the day I passed all my GCSEs with Bs and Cs without any revision and spending every night in the pub with my boyfriend (I was predicted A stars and As).
However, I now (25 years later) regret my actions and this isn’t something I would talk about. It doesn’t make me look clever it makes me look like an idiot.

Meadowfinch · 23/12/2024 11:52

Because everyone struggles with exams in some way. Very few people regard them as a walk n the park.

You didn't get great marks because you didn't manage your revision. Other people don't get great marks because they can't write quickly or they forget to read the question carefully or whatever.

There's no difference. Until you actually get A star you aren't capable of A star for whatever reason.

Edingril · 23/12/2024 11:52

So you honestly think 'I'm capable of an A' so they will just go ,'ok here you go'

Lots of people are capable of different grades they don't get them because they don't get them, anyone with intelligence would understand that

Inauthentic · 23/12/2024 11:52

Why would you try to convince them?

It's not their job to stop you procrastinating, it needs to come from you.

You can ask for help but you would need to identify the right resources of support or ask someone to help you to identify the right sources.

It could be someone from school or you parents?

Crinkle77 · 23/12/2024 11:52

Why is it so important for you tell people how capable you are. It sounds like you're bragging but can't actually back it up.

SensibleSigma · 23/12/2024 11:53

Because part of getting good grades is preparation and performance.
You may well be very clever- cleverer than your grades suggest. That doesn’t mean you are able to get better grades.

Speaking as a serial underperformer! I have learned that life is full of obstacles that prevent me meeting my potential. That’s just one of them!

I lean into my strengths now. My achievements/ability aren’t counted in exam results.

DurhamDurham · 23/12/2024 11:54

The issues you experience and the problem you have with procrastination mean that you weren't capable to get A* results, that's the reality.
There's all sorts of reasons people don't get A* results, this isn't a unique situation.

DysmalRadius · 23/12/2024 11:54

If you're saying this to teachers that don't believe you, then who predicted your grades? Surely they must be aware of your potential?

And why are you even discussing this with your classmates? I imagine it's more that your performance is not remotely important to them rather than them not believing you that's getting the blank responses.

AAudreyHorne · 23/12/2024 11:55

It seems like you are overthinking this.
Why does it matter if these people think you are lying?
If you believe that you could have done better in your exams then who cares what other people think?
With respect, some therapy might help you examine

  1. Why you tend to procrastinate and leave things to the last minute
  2. Why you feel the need to inform people that you could've done better
  3. Why it matters so much that you think they don't believe you
Jellycatspyjamas · 23/12/2024 11:55

I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting As in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework*

Intelligence is only part of what makes people successful at exams, organisation, being able to order your thoughts on the day, staying focussed on the questions all play a part. You may be intelligent and know the material but not be organised in your thinking, without that you’re not capable of the grades you expect, or need support to get you there. I suspect that’s what your teachers are thinking.

LetThereBeLove · 23/12/2024 11:55

sarahlayton06 · 23/12/2024 11:43

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

DD1 is exactly the same as you OP. She always procrastinated before her exams. She has ADHD and anxiety and is only now in her 40s having treatment for it. She has a good career, is married with two children so you can get help.

custardpyjamas · 23/12/2024 11:55

You didn't get the grades so certainly at that time you weren't able to. Lots of people have reasons or excuses why they didn't do as well as people hoped, you and virtually everyone else thinks they could do better, but you have to prove it.

To be fair I did that a bit when I was young, I don't think I wanted to try my best because then I might still fail and that would be terrible!

TheTwirlyPoos · 23/12/2024 11:56

I was the person who worked insanely hard. I did well

When people say to me 'i could have done what you didn't it rankles a bit of im honest.

Also it may not be as much they don't believe you as it's a totally pointless conversation. You didn't get those grades so what does it matter?

VarneytheVamp · 23/12/2024 11:56

Sort of similar, I was always a last-minuter and naturally quite bright (distinctly average now) and no one ever believed I didn't revise for my exams because I actually did very well (less so at uni!)

It's pretty obvious why though: a lot of people bullshit about their abilities for whatever reason.

PromoJoJo · 23/12/2024 11:57

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

Lentilweaver · 23/12/2024 11:57

If they didnt say anything to contradict you, then that's all you can expect.

Doing exams is about getting over the finish line. Everybody has anxiety about them and procrastinates.
ADHD is a different situation but these days there are many who have self diagnosed so people have got tired of hearing it used as an excuse.
DS got 4 A stars at A level. I would be annoyed if his friends said they could have got the same if not for anxiety!

pinkdelight · 23/12/2024 11:58

Being able to do the revision and the arse-in-chair graft is as important as having the academic smarts. If you only have the latter, then you aren't capable of getting top grades, as your results have proven. It's like being gifted at acting but not being able to cope with the grind and hustle of the audition process etc. It's meaningless saying you're capable of the top results when the reality is that you're not capable of achieving in them because you can't do a major component. It doesn't mean you're not intelligent, but there's all kinds of intelligence in this world and measures for it. Don't try to frame yours by an unhelpful measure. It just makes you look like you're making excuses so of course people will be doubtful.

Original poster
sarahlayton06 · 23/12/2024 11:58

I did prove it once at the end of Year 12 exams and got 3A*s when I didn’t leave revision to the last minute, hence my UCAS predicted grades being such.

OP posts:
DooDooDooDooDooDooDooDoo · 23/12/2024 12:00

Managing revision is a part of the process.

You didn't do as well as you may have done because you are not so good at a part of what it takes to get those grades.

It's not so much that they don't believe what you are saying, it's that they don't agree what you are saying.

Werecat · 23/12/2024 12:00

sarahlayton06 · 23/12/2024 11:58

I did prove it once at the end of Year 12 exams and got 3A*s when I didn’t leave revision to the last minute, hence my UCAS predicted grades being such.

But then you bottled it on the actual exams you needed to perform in. You may have the intellectual capacity to get the grades, but grades are earned, not given, and for whatever reason you didn’t do the work to earn them.