Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

If you were truly as gifted as you think you are, you would have got A*s and 9s without having to revise or use other excuses for why you didn't get them.

I am old enough that an A was the top grade at both GCSE and A level, I even have a couple of O levels. Straight As across the board having spent the lunchtime before my afternoon A level exams in the pub. I don't say that to be smug, but being in a 'top set' doesn't automatically make you gifted, just above average.

Oh it's that poster. OP Life is so much more than A grades and Uni and anyone 30 years past school can tell you that no matter what path you go down in life, it will always change at some point. Focus on the future as you cannot change the past.

Look at it another way. Will your employer be pleased with the work you produced at the very last minute before the deadline, and which could have been a darn sight better if only you'd spent a lot more time on it? Will they be impressed by the fact that you are bright enough to produce outstanding work but didn't use your capability to the full? No. They will not be impressed by that at all.

‘I could have been someone’ - ‘well so could anyone!’
it doesn’t matter really - but people will be rolling their eyes if you go on about it. Move on, enjoy life, focus on what your strengths and what you love

I hear you OP. I have the intellectual capacity to get top grades. I grasp things superfast and was always one of the "cleverest" at school and uni. I won a scholarship at 11 to a private school. Kicked out at 16. Unconditional offer to a RG uni. Left with a 2.2. It's part of the diagnosis criteria for adhd that sustaining stuff is almost impossible. I basically "got away" with what was seen then as being lazy, because the underlying brightness and intellect was strong enough. I know for a fact that without adhd I'd have had a very much stronger academic record. It's bloody frustrating!

At the end of the day, who cares? It is only important to you. Personally, I would be more annoyed that I was capable of achieving excellent grades and didn't. Do yourself a favour and don't waste your time on other's thoughts. Try and find strategies to overcome your own barriers instead of just accepting them.

Look, OP, you need to "own" your performance to date. There is no point in telling everyone what you could be capable of if you don't consistently show it.

You said that you revised properly for your Y12 exams. So you can do it. You just need to figure out how to manage your ADHD effectively to be able to consistently reproduce that effort.

You won't persuade anyone that you're capable unless you find a way of actually being capable. Nobody is interested in brilliance without application. That's just the cold, hard reality. Focus on learning to manage yourself, and on managing your energy, your attention and your motivation. Retake your exams when you've found strategies that enable you to do the work. There is no substitute.

My DD was predicted A*AA but got ABC.
Wasn't a complete surprise cos she struggled with anxiety and exams.
She got into uni and chose modules that were less reliant on final exams.
Problem solved.
And as to the old trope about COVID, you were marked fairly against your whole consort who also had the same disruption.
Sounds like your whole self worth is based around academic success
Real life is about a lot more and there will be plenty of opportunities to show the world how truly 'exceptional ' you think your are

They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever

Sounds like classic ADHD RSD presenting itself. Always thinking people are thinking the worst of you even though they've given you no reason to do so. Kindly, it's likely all in your head. Have a Google of RSD and speak to your ADHD practitioners about getting some therapy /coaching for RSD. It really can be crippling.

Stop making excuses, and threads about this OP. I don’t even come on here much and this is the third thread I have read from you on the subject. You didn’t get 3A*s, you didn’t get into Oxbridge, honestly for you own sanity you need to draw a line under it all and move on. Go to a different university, have fun and learn how to work with your ADHD.

You are conflating to different things here

1. intelligence / aptitude for a subject
2. exam performance.

you can easily have 1 and not 2 (though the other way around is less common). So far the evidence is that you do not do well in exams - either your GCSEs or your Alevels.

Saying you could have if circumstances were different is nonsense, they weren’t and you didn’t.

But you aren't capable of those grades if you are unable to do the level of study and revision you actually needed in order to get those grades. You sound more in the 'bright' category rather than gifted tbh. I always had high marks and did all honours subjects but didn't study for my exams, came out with Bs and Cs which my mum as a secondary school teacher couldn't believe I managed with not having studied etc. Uni was the same, essays written the night before and dissertation done in a month, got a 2:1. I'd never describe myself as gifted or tell people 'well really I should have gotten all As as I'm capable of that if I studied' (I have the procrastination, fear of not doing it perfectly so I can't do it til it absolutely has to be done mindset)

If you were capable of not leaving revision until the last minute - as evidenced by the A*s in your mocks - why didn't you apply whatever method you adopted then to your real exams? That in itself is a bit daft.
I understand what you're trying to say, in a sense. I have ADHD and really struggled with procrastination and revision at university. However, I would never say I got x degree score because of this. Why should anyone believe you? It's a bit of a weird, empty boast.

My son is a lot more capable than the 4 and 5s he just achieved in his mocks. But he won’t get it because he hates school, hates revision and just wants to go and work. Therefore he will get 4 and 5s and won’t go around telling everyone he could have got 9s. I am capable of being more than a manager but I’m not due to life situations therefore I won’t go around saying I could be a director. Proof is in the pudding.

Did nobody get 9s in GCSEs that year? If they did, why didn’t you? And what about your A Levels, why did you have high predicted grades and then presumably not get them?

I did no revision for GCSEs and got 4 A* and 7 A. I did a bit more for A levels and got 4As and a B. I could’ve got 5As but I chose not to do the work - and I’ve literally never said that to anyone. I got a 2:1 in my degree. I could’ve got a first if I’d chosen an easier degree or if I’d worked harder in my second year - again I’ve literally never said that to anyone.

I’m a member of Mensa and I’ve won medals for the highest marks in professional exams. I’m academic and good at exams, even when I don’t revise much. So I tend not to revise much because I don’t need to do my “best” - but I also accept that my grades actually do reflect my “best” as I’m fundamentally too lazy to do better.

I suggest you make peace with your grades.

I remember a student telling me she's great at maths, and got A's. so I asked her to show me. I didn't see it.

So your capacity is limited by your ability to study / prepare - which means that you actually aren’t capable of achieving this.

I don’t say this as a criticism btw but essentially the evidence is not there.

DS also did GCSEs with Covid.
You are not the only one affected.
I mean this kindly; making a professional victim of yourself never works. No one cares and it gets tedious.

You didn't work hard enough so you didn't get the grades.

Retired secondary school teacher here.

It's actually quite common for pupils to say "Well, I could have got good grades if I'd put in the work."

You might know that you could have achieved it...but they don't. Before you think I'm being unsympathetic, I'll add that I'm on the spectrum but didn't get a diagnosis of OCD until I was in my mid-thirties. It's now suspected that I have ASD and ADHD but I don't see a point in getting a diagnosis now (in my 60s).

I did well in my S4/Y11 exams, but less well for my senior exams because of interference from my OCD (obsessive ruminations). I screwed up my senior maths exam because I had an OCD episode bang in the middle of the second paper. I got a C pass instead of the A pass that I could have had. There was no point in telling people that: how could I ever prove it...and it would just sound like boasting.

There's no point in trying to tell people what you could have done, OP. I'm sorry, but you just have to get on with it.

I’m somewhat the same, OP. The thing is, an exam is just an exam, it’s not a test of potential. A massive part of what any exam is measuring is whether you can sit down and do the study in an extended way.

Because you’re not capable. You didn’t do it. Theoretically you were capable, in reality you weren’t.

DP is a last minute worker, I’m all about prep. We both achieved exactly the same things at A level, university etc. I am capable with steady work. He is capable with a last minute burst. You weren’t. End of.

Right, this is starting to be a bit of a pile to OP, she’s clearly very young and will grow and change with a bit of life experience.

OP take it from someone who didn’t reach their ‘potential’ your exams results at any level are just the key to the next door.

Getting just enough GCSEs to get into sixth form is as good as acing them - the key to the next door.

Your A levels are just the key to university or work.

You don’t need to dwell on what might have been once you’ve walked through the door.

I think the question should really be: why would they believe you?

As others have said, because it hasn’t been proved I suppose.
What you mean is that you are clever enough to know and understand the stuff to get high grades, but there is more to exams than that (such as revision etc) which is why the examination system isn’t for everyone. So your point isn’t necessarily that you could actually get the grades, because you’ve had examination situations where you didn’t get them.
So you are basically saying you are clever. Which is fine but (a) does it matter and (b) people don’t often want (or need) to hear it.

But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

How old are you? Does it matter what some teachers you had at school thought?

I'm not sure what you wanted them to say when you didn't do as well as expected and went to them saying "yeah but I could have got top grades if I'd revised more".