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Why would people not believe me?

464 replies

sarahlayton06 · 23/12/2024 11:43

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

OP posts:
MILLYmo0se · 24/12/2024 15:33

sarahlayton06 · 24/12/2024 12:54

But it’s also not fair that I was disadvantaged by having to go to such a poor performing school while others got to go to private schools or selective grammar schools; or other students have parents who aren’t so ignorant. Why should others get advantages that I didn’t get?

Because that's life?

CheatsAtScrabble · 24/12/2024 15:43

But you’re not capable though. Because you couldn’t overcome your urge to procrastinate. You prove you’re capable of getting the grades by getting the grades.

twobluehorses · 24/12/2024 15:52

This is incredibly like the thread a few weeks back from the person moaning about being rejected by Oxford and then it turned out they hadn’t even applied. That person then claimed to be a millionaire at 24 or something. The same comments are being made. It’s all very..odd

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

howshouldibehave · 24/12/2024 16:05

twobluehorses · 24/12/2024 15:52

This is incredibly like the thread a few weeks back from the person moaning about being rejected by Oxford and then it turned out they hadn’t even applied. That person then claimed to be a millionaire at 24 or something. The same comments are being made. It’s all very..odd

Edited

I thought that. I tried to find it but can’t-has it been deleted?!

fwasal · 24/12/2024 16:36

howshouldibehave · 24/12/2024 16:05

I thought that. I tried to find it but can’t-has it been deleted?!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5228559-aibu-to-still-be-annoyed-about-my-oxbridge-rejection-years-later?page=1

There you go.
I also thought about that one.

But the OP of this thread doesn't need to worry about getting into Oxbridge, the other Oxbridge reject (who was rejected despite not applying) has made a million already and she's only 25.

AIBU to still be annoyed about my oxbridge rejection years later? | Mumsnet

I got abused at home, played up at school, failed my GCSEs and got expelled at 16. There were no signs of academic potential until about half way thro...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5228559-aibu-to-still-be-annoyed-about-my-oxbridge-rejection-years-later?page=1

theDudesmummy · 24/12/2024 16:59

"Not fair"??? Oh dear, adult life is going to be an immense shock to you...

MermaidEyes · 24/12/2024 17:19

sarahlayton06 · 24/12/2024 12:54

But it’s also not fair that I was disadvantaged by having to go to such a poor performing school while others got to go to private schools or selective grammar schools; or other students have parents who aren’t so ignorant. Why should others get advantages that I didn’t get?

Jesus Christ, what an attitude.

MermaidEyes · 24/12/2024 17:22

twobluehorses · 24/12/2024 15:52

This is incredibly like the thread a few weeks back from the person moaning about being rejected by Oxford and then it turned out they hadn’t even applied. That person then claimed to be a millionaire at 24 or something. The same comments are being made. It’s all very..odd

Edited

Haha I remember that thread, I swear the OP never actually said how they made their million by 24 so my money's on OnlyFans 😂

Saltedcaramelfudge · 24/12/2024 17:38

Ability means nothing without discipline and consistent results. You cannot so this and all the evidence so far in your life proves this. Please move on and stop holding on to something that will aways be but a dream.

Scirocco · 24/12/2024 17:47

sarahlayton06 · 24/12/2024 12:54

But it’s also not fair that I was disadvantaged by having to go to such a poor performing school while others got to go to private schools or selective grammar schools; or other students have parents who aren’t so ignorant. Why should others get advantages that I didn’t get?

"It's not fair...". No, life isn't fair. You can either develop the grit and determination to strive regardless, or you can under-achieve and feel bitter about it.

"Why should others get advantages that I didn't get?". Because that's life. Different people have different life circumstances. Everyone will have some advantages and some disadvantages. You have had many advantages other people have not had, and there'll also be people who have had advantages you have not had. You have to play the hand you've been dealt.

The world owes you nothing. It will not magically become more favourable for you because you feel like it should. If you want to succeed and live up to the potential you believe you have, then you need to put in the effort. Just like most other people do.

MargaretThursday · 24/12/2024 19:08

You think you're disadvantaged so you should be handed it on a plate.

It me tell you about my df.

His parents thought they would emigrate to Canada when he was 10yo because they couldn't get a job. They put all their money into this, went to Canada and found the story that there were jobs a plenty there wasn't true and had to come back again.
Df did his 11+ the next week and failed it, so went to the secondary modern.

My gran started work at 6am and finished after 6pm (more than one job) to keep them afloat. Both her and my grandad (he died before I was born) had left school at 12, so had no qualifications.
Df decided that the way out of poverty was to work.

So he worked. He got GCEs and, unusually for his school, O-levels. He wanted to do A-levels but in those days it was very much on your own. The school bus didn't take 6th formers, so he had to work out how to get there.
He had 3 jobs through year 11 to pay for a motorbike. He had a paper round in the morning, pulling pints in the evening, and working on a farm at the weekend.

He continued doing these jobs through A-levels to pay for the motorbike, and evening classes in a subject no one at his school could teach. And btw he was the first, and only 6th former at his school. He did his A-level maths at the same time as his teacher and got a better grade.

I suspect, although he's never said anything, that his parents were somewhat bemused why he would stay on at school, when he could have been out earning a wage - possible even should have been out earning a wage.

And he went to university. Which from his background wasn't done. And then got a job and rose to a good level in the large company he was in.

I will add that he clearly (now) has ASD and almost certainly ADHD, but neither was recognised back then.

But the thing that he had, which you seem to miss, is that he was a hard worker. He still is, as he approaches 80yo. When he was doing exams (as I remember him doing a few through work), he would spend every spare moment reading to make sure he was best prepared. I remember him reading a text book as he washed up, and recording himself reading facts he needed to memorise, so he could listen to it while he was gardening.

I have never heard him complain about his background, or his disadvantages. I have never heard him expect to get something because of what he's been through.
I have never heard him say that he deserved to get better grades (which he clearly was capable of) or that it's not fair others had advantages. Or complain that his parents made decisions that effected him.
He took the position he was in, and did the best he could there.

WearyAuldWumman · 24/12/2024 19:21

MargaretThursday · 24/12/2024 19:08

You think you're disadvantaged so you should be handed it on a plate.

It me tell you about my df.

His parents thought they would emigrate to Canada when he was 10yo because they couldn't get a job. They put all their money into this, went to Canada and found the story that there were jobs a plenty there wasn't true and had to come back again.
Df did his 11+ the next week and failed it, so went to the secondary modern.

My gran started work at 6am and finished after 6pm (more than one job) to keep them afloat. Both her and my grandad (he died before I was born) had left school at 12, so had no qualifications.
Df decided that the way out of poverty was to work.

So he worked. He got GCEs and, unusually for his school, O-levels. He wanted to do A-levels but in those days it was very much on your own. The school bus didn't take 6th formers, so he had to work out how to get there.
He had 3 jobs through year 11 to pay for a motorbike. He had a paper round in the morning, pulling pints in the evening, and working on a farm at the weekend.

He continued doing these jobs through A-levels to pay for the motorbike, and evening classes in a subject no one at his school could teach. And btw he was the first, and only 6th former at his school. He did his A-level maths at the same time as his teacher and got a better grade.

I suspect, although he's never said anything, that his parents were somewhat bemused why he would stay on at school, when he could have been out earning a wage - possible even should have been out earning a wage.

And he went to university. Which from his background wasn't done. And then got a job and rose to a good level in the large company he was in.

I will add that he clearly (now) has ASD and almost certainly ADHD, but neither was recognised back then.

But the thing that he had, which you seem to miss, is that he was a hard worker. He still is, as he approaches 80yo. When he was doing exams (as I remember him doing a few through work), he would spend every spare moment reading to make sure he was best prepared. I remember him reading a text book as he washed up, and recording himself reading facts he needed to memorise, so he could listen to it while he was gardening.

I have never heard him complain about his background, or his disadvantages. I have never heard him expect to get something because of what he's been through.
I have never heard him say that he deserved to get better grades (which he clearly was capable of) or that it's not fair others had advantages. Or complain that his parents made decisions that effected him.
He took the position he was in, and did the best he could there.

He sounds like a wonderful man.

My late husband was brought up on an estate where his dad was a gardener. His parents wanted him to stay on at school, but the head advised against it - "I don't see him in a desk job!" - so Dh left at 15 with no qualifications.

He variously worked as a forestry worker, slaughterhouse worker, roadsman, deliveryman, soldier, estate worker... Got his Highers at night school. Studied during his breaks at work. Sat university entrance exams and got into uni as a mature student. Got his degree and did his teacher training.

One time on a visit back to his home village we bumped into on of his classmates - a lad from the "A" stream - who was then the village postie. "What are you doing now?" he asked my husband.

"I'm a teacher."

"A teacher? But you were nivver very clever at the school!"

"Oh, I was - they just never realised it!"

If anything, my husband underrated himself. He didn't have the opportunities given to some - but he worked his a*se off. The first in his family to go to uni and the only member of his generation to do so.

When pupils became despondent, he'd tell them that that there was more to life beyond school and that it was possible to return to education when they were ready for it.

After he died, I got messages from various former pupils. Some had gone straight to uni; others had gone back as mature students. One girl graduated the same year as her daughter.

SmallestMan · 24/12/2024 19:54

Evidence. There is no evidence of very high ability from your actual GCSEs or A levels sat. Predicted grades are not real.

You can’t know your ‘entrance exams’ went well this year as the LNAT results haven’t even been released.

Parents. Poor teachers. Covid. Adhd. You need to try to move on and make the best of whatever your circumstances. Have you actually applied to any other unis?

Keepingthingsinteresting · 24/12/2024 22:26

sarahlayton06 · 24/12/2024 12:54

But it’s also not fair that I was disadvantaged by having to go to such a poor performing school while others got to go to private schools or selective grammar schools; or other students have parents who aren’t so ignorant. Why should others get advantages that I didn’t get?

Life isn’t fair @sarahlayton06 , and the sooner you get your head around that and move on the better as the only person you’re hurting is yourself. Practically your potential doesn’t matter only your achievements do. If you want to be judged on your potential then you should go for the foundation year.

All you are doing is procrastinating by fixating on what might have been, time now to make a choice and get in with things or your rumination on the past will cost you your future.

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