Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

Time to grow up OP.

Life’s not fair. Full stop. There’ll always be people better off than you, and worst off. You need to work with what you have, what you can control and manage.

This can't be real. It's not fair that Afghani girls are denied education and forced into marriage while you moan.

What sort of little madam are you?
Still no sign of this stellar intelligence, bless you.
Maybe the teachers simply have your number?

My goodness you are going to get a shock when you get into the real world

And by the way, no one actually gives a crap what you got for GCSEs or A levels or which Uni you went to for the large part, what your parents did or did not do.

They care if you can do the job they uay you to do and if you are a good team player and it's pretty clear on here you are going to be neither of those. You shirk your responsibility and blame others.

Because that's life there are 163 Grammar schools in England so the vast majority of students will never attend one
My son was disadvantaged by being critically ill in year 11 and missing an entire half term of school and whilst he isn't academic his results were lower than they should have been but he gets on with it and doesn't whinge and moan .

Are parents who can’t speak English ignorant? Because to me it would seem they are people who don’t speak English. That’s the end of that.
With opinions like that, 5 ‘A’ levels won’t get you anywhere.
You got three B’s in yours originally. Not what you hoped for but every single one of us has a story where a life event didn’t go our way.
Disadvantaged children to me are ones who will be waking up tomorrow in temporary hostels, with no homes of their own. They are kids in hospitals and, even worse, in hospices receiving end of life care.
You are not disadvantaged, you have just been through stuff like every other person has.
I discussed going to Oxford back in the day. I decided I couldn’t think of anything worse for me personally. It was the 1980’s, the city where I lived was in a terrible state, my parents both worked but I decided to stay at home to study and I loved it. I didn’t want the burden of the financial cost, and thought my very thick accent would not sit well.
However what I did do is get involved in life. Charity and community projects, I supported myself doing all sorts of jobs, and I had a fantastic time. I am also on the spectrum. It’s not always been easy as extra-time didn’t exist then.
Perhaps today be grateful that you have been gifted a keen mind. Drop 2 of your A levels and find something else to do. Go to University.
There is more to your young life than this.

A large part of your problem, OP, is a neurodivergent fixation with Cambridge. Try to make yourself look for alternatives...or look again at the idea of a foundation year.

I can't see you succeeding at Cambridge with the critical thinking skills of a tantrumming toddler.

Why should others get advantages that I didn’t get?

Were you under the impression that life was fair?! Tell that to girls in countries that doesn’t allow them to go to school or kids living in poverty or in houses with violence and abuse.

You are starting to sound like a petulant child who didn’t do enough work for their education whinging that it’s all someone else’s fault that you’re an underachiever!

This cannot be real. If it is I pity the people around you having to listen to this shite.

As I said before, OP, you’ll do well reading Weeding with Shelf -Filling at the University of Bogshire. FWIW, I attended 5 secondary schools only three of which were grammar schools, would have loved to have gone to Cambridge but no one suggested it. Got a good degree at London, though. You have to play the hand you’re dealt. Big girl now, no more thumb sucking and crying X

Life isn't fair 🙄

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting As in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.*

I would imagine they were thinking all sorts of things but decided to keep their mouths shut!

You sound like a petulant child
That's probably why people don't believe you

Is there any excuse you haven't pulled out yet for your own failure? Is there anyone you haven't blamed except yourself?

So far, I have seen ADHD, medical problems, sink school, change of teacher, disinterested parents. Turn the mirror, take a look in it. You are responsible for your own success in life.

This is ridiculous. I was sympathetic to you at first but now I'm just annoyed by this constant "woe is me" tale.
One of my best friends from university (not Oxbridge but a top university for our subject) came from a very impoverished background, went to a poor-performing comprehensive school, had no one in his family who had ever been to university etc.
He worked and worked and worked to get good A-levels and to get into the university we went to. He didn't apply to Oxbridge and didn't have the grades for it anyway but he chose a very good university he could get into at a time when there weren't schemes for people from underperforming schools and deprived backgrounds such as contextual offers.
Once he got to university he continued to work. He was absolutely determined to get a first. He got places on internships. He got his first. Then he got a PhD.
And now he's living abroad with his husband in a beautiful house worth millions and working in a top job for which he was headhunted.

And we never once heard him whining about his background or how he didn't get to go to Oxbridge. He put every bit of his energy into achieving his goals and making a success of his life.

Ok OP, what could you do differently going forward that will be a straightforward, unambiguous advantage? Put the past behind you. I went to a bog standard school and didn't have particularly interested parents. You can't blame external factors.

Your strategies so far aren't that helpful. taking on more a levels than you need and dropping your PT job sound ill advised to me. What strategies do you think may actually help rather than loading your plate further whilst giving you less to talk about at interview?

OP life isn’t a game of victim top trumps.

University is supposed to prepare you for a good career which you have no chance of without a major attitude adjustment. There will always be people with different opportunities in life. Comparison is the thief of joy and you really need to look at some gratitude for the positives in your life or you will end up very bitter.

My DD's friend is in the first year at Oxford.

The school they went to is in special measures.

The interview for Oxford was online and the school gave her a laptop with no microphone so she had to mime this information to the interviewer and then do the interview on her phone.

She got three A stars.

During her actual A levels she was sharing a bedroom with three younger children because her aunt was shot and killed and her two children had to be taken in by her family.

That is horrific. I hope all the family are doing as well as possible given the circumstances. Your friends dd sounds incredible- wishing her every success.

That is horrific. I hope all the family are doing as well as possible given the circumstances. Your friends dd sounds incredible- wishing her every success.

It is horrific. What a situation. It's just phenomenal that she managed to keep it all up through the exams.

Hats off to her! What an inspiration. Wishing her every success at Oxford and beyond.

Wallowing in the past will not help you.

You need to stop looking backwards and put your energies into how you learn from your experience and move forwards.

If they are all wrong, show them by proving it with a first class degree and masters from Cambridge even though you had to take a more challenging route to get there. Or alternatively spend your life wallowing in, and proclaiming, how life is not fair (don't we all know that one way or another!) and keep getting mediocre results in everything you do.

If this is the case, you'd probably qyalify for a contextual offer from some universities.

In any case, the majority of people do not go to independent schools, top performing state schools or grammars (not all areas even have grammar schools).

Most of us could moan about not being born into a wealthy or privileged situation but at some point you just have to deal with with the situation you've found yourself and take responsibility for your own decisions after that.

If you got an offer for Cambridge - even if you didn't actually get to go - you're actually in a better position than many young people who never even get that close.