Don't ask your spouse questions you don't want the answer to.

[anissa834]

Recently me and one of my brothers was chatting while playing grand theft auto online together and at some point, he talked about his wife that asked him if he is happy being married to her and he gave an honest answer.

He said he is happy in general wether he is married or not. He is happy with or without her and that is true.

Before getting married, he is been in several relationships and he always told me that he never cried over any girls and was always indifferent whenever his relationships would end and he always moved on very quickly and continue living his life as if nothing happened.

When he told his wife that, he didn't give me much details but he said she was basically offended.

Never ask certain questions to your spouse if you don't want the answer.

A man once told me that a great many men he knew were only in relationships because of the sex. That if there was some way of getting regular sex without paying for it, whilst remaining single, they'd do that instead. He said they see relationships as the price they pay for getting what they want. Women want relationships, men want sex, match the two up and everyone is happy - in his words. I don't think many are all that happy of either sex, so that's why there's so much cheating, abusive behaviour and breakups for other reasons. I've never met a woman speaks like this before, they all think it's a mutual loving relationship that both parties genuinely want to be in.

Having someone to split the bills with is useful too. Means he gets to live in a bigger, better home and/or have more disposable income. Men generally love that part of "equality", just not the other parts. So it ends up not being equal at all.

I've also never met a man without some sort of MH issue around dirt/germs, who actually keeps his home clean and tidy on the daily, without letting it get into a total pigsty state first before cleaning up. So unless she's messy too it'll always get cleaned up by her before he thinks it needs doing. Even if he "helps" it'll be her carrying the mental load, organising everything and directing him what needs to be done. So he gets a cleaner tidier home than he otherwise would, with less doing of it and no thinking about it.

I think most men don't want DC either or are indifferent to the thought of them. Not saying they don't care about them when they arrive, but most don't seem to have the burning desire for them that many women do and so don't particularly want to look after them and raise them. Being in a relationship often means they largely don't have to. Even if the DC isn't hers, she'll look after it because it needs looking after and she doesn't want to be surrounded by feral DC causing havoc, while he kicks back and relaxes.

OP she was basically asking if he loves her. She'll have had reason to ask, probably she's not feeling loved. He's told her no, he doesn't. He didn't use those words, but that's what the ones he did use mean. They're married, so yeh that's pretty offensive then. Presumably she believed they'd married due to being mutually in love.

I suspect that a lot of women get married to have kids and the relationship is the means to that end.

So why did he marry her (this one) but not previous GF's?
Anyway he sounds like a cunt!

I suppose they do. But just as many, if not more, men marry to have children.

I've been musing on the OPs original suggestion that you shouldn't ask questions if you "don't want" the answer. That is a staggeringly arrogant opinion of the OP's brother. No doubt the brother's wife didn't like the answer much. But she may well have wanted the answer, and wanted to ask the question precisely because the answer tells her something important about what her husband is worth to her. I doubt if she regrets asking.

And your spouse won't have your back in tough times anyways.

I genuinely feel sorry for you that you have had poor relationships and let's be honest....a pretty shit marriage.

My DH has always had my back during the tough times, and vice versa. We have supported one another through bereavement, job losses and health scares. That's the point of choosing the person to be on your team and go through life together. If you genuinely believe that your spouse won't have your back when the going gets tough then you chose the wrong person to marry (and so did he!).

For what it's worth, in answer to the question posed to your brother then I was happy before I met DH and I know I would be happy again if anything were to happen to him. Eventually. But there's a difference to being independent and comfortable in your own skin and saying "I don't give a shit whether I'm with you or not."

I choose to be with DH because he enhances my life. If he didn't, what would be the point?

"Happy married or single" isn't what this is about, though. It's your brother's (and, going by your comments, your) indifference to people who are in supposedly intimate relationships with you. There's nothing to suggest either of you feel love for your spouses at all. That's a bloody good reason to divorce imo. Oh, and I'm lifelong single and very happy that way. It's not remotely the same as being in relationships and not caring when they end.

Yes, I think so too. Thanks for chatting with me.

Ah, but who'll be his fucktoy servant then?

I think most men don't want DC either or are indifferent to the thought of them. Not saying they don't care about them when they arrive, but most don't seem to have the burning desire for them that many women do and so don't particularly want to look after them and raise them.

I agree. I wish more women would consider this when badgering their partners/husbands for a/another baby.

Only family have each other's backs for real.

He is very independent and doesn't rely on anybody. He doesn't need other hands to feed him.

are you part of some shit level crime family?

Sopranos? Corleones? 😂

(edited for typo)

True independence is being able to admit you love someone and wouldn't be without them. While knowing you don't NEED them but you WANT them in your life. Saying nice things to make loved ones feel valued and loved and not what your brother said

I don't normally do this, but this its the title of another recent thread the OP started Coworkers complained to our supervisor because I am indifferent. Why are people so needy?

I think that says it all.

He really said that??? Wow…

Some of us just don't like social interactions.

Find a job where you can WFH?

Or people could refrain from discussing their personal lives on the company's time?

He might as well fuck off then

Yeah, we'll just sit there like robots and only ever discuss business

1. You aren't paid to discuss kids/football/whatever.
2. If you want to discuss that crap, then fine, you do you, but respect the rights of others to abstain. Especially, don't whine to management about those of us who just want to get on with work without having to stop and engage in small talk.

I work for myself so I can discuss whatever I like. Luckily that also means I don't have to work with miseries like yourself

I cannot think of anything more misery-inducing than having to feign interest in someone else's babbling in order to avoid people moaning to my manager. How entitled do people have to be to think that they have the right to coerce a conversation from someone else? Seriously, just stop talking at me, it makes my head spin and the walls start closing in and then I cannot think about the job I am paid to do.

3 . Youaren't paid to be actively hostile and generate a bad working atmosphere for everyone else, (Or agree only to engage in civilities with The Men in the Office)