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Original poster

Can I ask my kids to pay towards Xmas food shop.

388 replies

I4gotmyname · 08/12/2024 19:47

Would it be bad if I asked my 3 oldest, to give me 15.00 each towards the Xmas food shop. And ask them to pay for the alcohol. As I don't drink.

I'm struggling a bit this year . Not to a massive extent. But a bit of help would be nice. I feel bad though because they are my kids.

OP posts:
Topsyturvy78 · 10/12/2024 13:46

starlight889 · 09/12/2024 18:15

I just went onto Tesco to see if I could do this. I counted for more than 4 due to there being children (not sure how many though?)

For £30.86 I managed to do dinner, pudding and a few christmas snacks.

Whole large chicken - £4
Potatoes - 79p
Sprouts - 85p
Carrots - 44p
Parsnips - 75p
Honey - 75p
Stuffing mix - 45p
Gravy granules - 73p
20 Pigs in blankets - £3.50
Yorkshire puddings - £1.75

Yule log - £2.75
Double cream - £1.15

Mini muffins - £2.75
Christmas tree tortilla chips - £1.35
Dips - £3.20
Cheese ball crisps - £1
Pretzel and cracker mix - £1.65

Coke zero x2 - £3

A decent lunch with pudding and a few snacks for £30.

And the welfare standards of those cheap chickens are fucking awful and they taste awful as well. Why should she do it on a shoestring and have a sad Christmas. When they can all contribute and have a lavish Chrismas no expense spared?

Minc · 10/12/2024 13:47

Enjoy! ☺️

AngelicKaty · 10/12/2024 13:47

Kitkat1523 · 10/12/2024 12:56

So just have Christmas on your own…..get together another day for a few snacks which is affordable

Show quote history

So you seriously think it's better for OP not to have the family Christmas that ALL her children would want, than simply ask her eldest three for a modest contribution? What kind of logic is that?! 🙄

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AngelicKaty · 10/12/2024 13:53

RockOrAHardplace · 10/12/2024 13:19

If the three with income can't afford to contribute to her Christmas gathering then they can't afford to host for 8+ people???

Christmas is about family....you want her to be with the kids she has on their own, the two single ones on their own and the young mum with her kids on her own....really.

And each of them will have to pay more than £15 to sort their own out so its a lose, lose all around - smart thinking (NOT)!

The OP is suggesting a practical solution that brings them all together to share a special day and shares the financial hit amongst those with an income. Sounds like win/win to me.

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Well said! Some of these posters lack imagination (to understand OP's situation) and intelligence (to suggest a logical solution). 🙄

MangoRose · 10/12/2024 13:56

AngelicKaty · 10/12/2024 13:47

So you seriously think it's better for OP not to have the family Christmas that ALL her children would want, than simply ask her eldest three for a modest contribution? What kind of logic is that?! 🙄

Show quote history

Exactly, this attitude is awful. Luckily most people in RL have lovely families who just want to spend time together and would all happily contribute.

I did it for years as I hosted the whole family due to space, everyone just split the cost of food including me, I contributed more in the way of providing table favours, crackers and extra treats. It just meant we could all be together. Why have it separate when we could all pay, it was a hell of a lot cheaper to do a bigger Xmas than all do separately anyway.

Dazedandconfusedma · 10/12/2024 13:58

Just do it OP. You’ve clearly thought about and decided you feel it’s the right thing to do, so you don’t need validation from strangers on the internet.

starlight889 · 10/12/2024 13:59

Topsyturvy78 · 10/12/2024 13:46

And the welfare standards of those cheap chickens are fucking awful and they taste awful as well. Why should she do it on a shoestring and have a sad Christmas. When they can all contribute and have a lavish Chrismas no expense spared?

Show quote history

I was just seeing if it could be done as others were suggesting.

You’ll see as you read further that I agree with you

gamerchick · 10/12/2024 14:00

OP there's nothing wrong with what you're suggesting. Round it up to 20 quid each and get the bits in that's expected by your offspring.

People on here just won't get it.

middleagedandinarage · 10/12/2024 14:01

steponacrackbreakyourmothersback · 08/12/2024 20:06

Bring their own alcohol and ask for a contribution- snacks, starter , dessert etc

I think this, if you don't drink it's totally reasonable to ask them to bring whatever they want to drink. And totally normal to say someone bring starter, someone bring dessert etc, I think that's much nicer than asking for money

RockOrAHardplace · 10/12/2024 14:02

Topsyturvy78 · 10/12/2024 13:46

And the welfare standards of those cheap chickens are fucking awful and they taste awful as well. Why should she do it on a shoestring and have a sad Christmas. When they can all contribute and have a lavish Chrismas no expense spared?

Show quote history

So if we accept that (and one chicken for 8 people is not exactly generous), that is one meal dealt with, what about the others, plus tea. coffee, heating cooking etc.

You've nicely evidenced that £15 is probably about right - OP go for it!

NasiDagang · 10/12/2024 14:04

Just go for it OP and have a fantastic Christmas with your family 💝 Please ignore the Grinches on Mumsnet!

Caterina99 · 10/12/2024 14:20

I think if your 2 eldest live in their own homes then they must be fully aware of how much groceries cost and it’s totally reasonable to ask them to contribute.

Original poster
I4gotmyname · 10/12/2024 14:26

MangoRose · 10/12/2024 13:56

Exactly, this attitude is awful. Luckily most people in RL have lovely families who just want to spend time together and would all happily contribute.

I did it for years as I hosted the whole family due to space, everyone just split the cost of food including me, I contributed more in the way of providing table favours, crackers and extra treats. It just meant we could all be together. Why have it separate when we could all pay, it was a hell of a lot cheaper to do a bigger Xmas than all do separately anyway.

Show quote history

Sounds very lovely and posh. Ours will be dinner on laps on the sofa. Cheap crackers and random sweets /chocolate/cakes ect most likely from Iceland. The older ones will be drinking. I will have soft drinks with the younger ones . We will probably play song quize. Couple of other Easy fun games.

OP posts:
PracticalLady · 10/12/2024 16:08

Hell yes, why shouldn't they contribute? Actually if they are being fair, they will want to help with the cost.

eatingandeating24 · 10/12/2024 16:57

I'm wondering if it's the main function of (laying on) a Christmas/Easter dinner/meal is to provide a meal ( a restaurant function) or to offer an opportunity for the family to voluntarily get together, celebrate, share and bond (along with their children/partners etc.). Family occasion for sharing and bonding or an eating/restaurant occasion for eating and drinking? 😀

LuckySantangelo35 · 10/12/2024 17:25

A whole chicken for £4?! That’s disgraceful

Original poster
I4gotmyname · 10/12/2024 21:53

I have asked both DS they were fine with it. Older ds said he can give more . I said no though. Also realised he can't drink because he's working over Xmas.

OP posts:
RockOrAHardplace · 10/12/2024 21:59

I4gotmyname · 10/12/2024 21:53

I have asked both DS they were fine with it. Older ds said he can give more . I said no though. Also realised he can't drink because he's working over Xmas.

Well done, you had faith in your adult kids ability to be fair and I hope you and your family have a fantastic Christmas!

Tiredofallthis101 · 10/12/2024 22:01

Well done, great news.

Original poster
I4gotmyname · 10/12/2024 22:09

RockOrAHardplace · 10/12/2024 21:59

Well done, you had faith in your adult kids ability to be fair and I hope you and your family have a fantastic Christmas!

Show quote history

Thank you. I was probably over thinking the whole thing. There was no problem what so ever,

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 10/12/2024 22:10

Great outcome OP @I4gotmyname

👏

AngelicKaty · 10/12/2024 23:45

Great to hear OP, you've obviously brought up nice kids! 😊Hope you all have a fabulous Christmas. 🤗

Minc · 10/12/2024 23:56

Why did I hear that in my head in Liz Truss’s voice? 👀

justjuggling · 11/12/2024 00:09

I wouldn’t ask them to contribute financially but would ask them to bring their drink of choice as you can’t afford to provide the alcohol this year and to each bring a dish - maybe a dessert or a cheese platter etc. Seems like a reasonable compromise.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 11/12/2024 10:12

justjuggling · 11/12/2024 00:09

I wouldn’t ask them to contribute financially but would ask them to bring their drink of choice as you can’t afford to provide the alcohol this year and to each bring a dish - maybe a dessert or a cheese platter etc. Seems like a reasonable compromise.

OP has explained several times why this doesn't work for their family. You can read all OP's updates by clicking on 'see all' next to her opening post. It's also not just Xmas Day as due to no public transport, the family will be together Xmas Eve and Boxing Day too.

Very pleased to see OP's last update - your family sounds as nice as you are, @I4gotmyname and I hope you all have a lovely holiday.