Just got the school Christmas schedule through- how the fuck can I afford all this

[Bloodyschoolchargingforshit]

2 dc in primary school.

£2 contribution each for Xmas jumper day.

£2.50 for each nativity ticket (4 plays total)

Class enterprise, the kids have all made the stuff which is going to cost £9 per child.

Christmas fayre where they give the kids a job, but I have to pay to get in, another fiver.

Both kids in the choir, another £2.50 each (plus another £1.50 per child for a hot chocolate).

That's before the damned raffles and 50p for a colouring competition here and £1 to decorate a bauble for the school tree there.

Apparently the school has won an award for bringing the cost of the school day down, they only got it because all this is 'voluntary' but they do it in such a way I'll feel like a cunt if my kids miss out, they sign the kids up for stuff and expect them to be there for such a short period I can't get home and back, so I would just have to wait outside the school if I don't buy a ticket to get in. Plus I'm a single parent so the only one who can go to this stuff.

That's near £50 in the next 2 weeks, I could honestly cry.

(Not a begging post or anything, just a bloody rant).

Just don't pay for the things you can get away with like Christmas jumper day. Send them in in the jumper, don't pay. Ignore all raffles. Wait outside school instead of going in if it's cheaper. Wrap up warm.

Why are there 4 nativity plays for 2 children?

Ridiculous

we never paid for nativities or carol concerts

xmas jumper day was £1 each

xmas Fayre charged to get into but it wasn’t £5 per adult and included a Santa grotto which was brilliant.

Id say something

I hated all that at primary. It's not just the cash (which MOUNTS UP) but the mental gymnastics and memory games (£2.50 each on Tuesday, 50p for one of you on Wednesday, £1.50 each via Parentpay deadline Friday...") that you have to do. I'd much rather they said after half term "We're doing a bunch of Christmas stuff and it's going to cost X much per child. Please pay via ParentPay" but NOT send/apply it to anybody on free school meals. And then no more fecky little letters and requests.

If nothing else adding it all up will underscore to the school how difficult this kind of money is for lots of families.

It's outrageous they are charging for nativity play tickets, I've never come across that before. They should be framing these things as a donation, or contribution, with a clear way of accessing the event if money is tight. Same for the Christmas jumper day and the choir concert. Our Christmas Fete is a pound for adults to enter and free for children.

The kids have 2 plays each, if I'm not there no-one will be there for them, plus I have to walk them down to the school, 25 mins away, they are there for a little over an hour so no point coming home just to go back again.

I forgot to pay last jumper day and had several 'reminders' sent via dojo and the school office emailing me.

I'll pay it, I can just about afford it so the kids don't miss out, it's just a crock of shit that we are expected to pay for every tiny thing.

There are people in the school a lot worse off than I am, I'm pitying myself even though its doable for me, but I can't imagine how they will feel, their kids will be signed up for all this stuff and they can't attend.

It's just taking the piss at this point.

Maybe share this with the school OP

https://www.savethechildren.org.uk/blogs/2024/make-christmas-jumper-day-fair-for-everyone

It’s specifically about save the children but is applicable for all fundraising

Email school and say money is really tight and you would appreciate your kids being able to participate anyway, what with the seasonal spirit of goodwill and so on. If more people raise this more openly it'll help.

Are the nativity plays not during school hours??

If the reminders are specifically to you asking you to pay for things this isn’t allowed just FYI. I’m a teacher and all things like this in primary are voluntary contributions only (even trips!) so they cannot force you into paying anything. Possible exception is entrance to Christmas Fayre if it’s stalls etc after school

I'd immediately skip the £9 each for stuff they've made, if it's truly for enterprise then the point should be it should sell, so a stranger should but it, otherwise it's just you basically donating. Like if a bakery expected each employee's family to buy the goods they'd made, that's not enterprise!

The kids dont have to have someone there for both plays! Just go for a walk while they are occupied at the play if going home is pointless? My youngest has her play three days in a row this week, I'll be going once. The others she understands we cant go to them all as we have work, and other restrictions. Just explain, it'll be a nice life lesson.

Ignore the emails about christmas jumpers and send them anyway - nothing with happen!

If the kids are working at the fayre, they dont need your supervision, so dont go. Go for another walk and earn some steps for christmas food!

They have 2 plays each, one during school, one after school, but I always show up for both, they only have me so I tie myself in knots to be there for everything for them.

I was very unwell a couple of years back and I did tell the school I was struggling to afford all the school stuff, they (unknowingly to me) referred me to SS who randomly showed up with a food bank delivery and angel tree gifts, it was pretty embarrassing because I had a house full of food and gifts for my dc, I just couldn't afford all the stuff for school for the dc (I had 3 in primary then), so I'm not keen to put myself in the firing line again.

It would be brilliant if they did just ask for £20 at the start of December to cover everything, but clearly fleecing parents at Xmas is far more important.

I would definitely speak to the school - it seems like an awful lot to pay for (much of which our tiny school doesn't charge for at all) - is there a class teacher or someone in the office you trust to be discreet and empathetic?

At our school I chair the pta and we automatically give the office a set number of tickets etc and they can distribute them as they see fit to families who need it. It's discreet and we never know who had those disco tickets etc.
when I was made redundant last month they proactively said to me to just ask if we needed any additional support covering costs of things related to school.

They'll have heard it before and should be understanding IMO

That’s ridiculous that you have to pay to attend their nativities! I think you should just go to one each, you don’t need to go to both. Our school only lets us attend one anyway to make room for everyone. It’s so sad that they are guilt tripping you into buying things that the kids have made. Realistically though you should only do what you can afford, they can’t make you pay it all.

I wouldn't go to both, at all, and I don't know anyone who does. As long as you go to one surely? If easiest, go to the last one and it saves walking backwards and forwards.

Do you have a PTA? I'm sure you are but the only intent feeling this way. I'd raise it with way your class rep. You don't have to say 'I' but just that done parents are finding the constant shelling out if money hard at an already expensive time of year. Might help next year.

To be fair, some of this is on you - as others have suggested, you don’t need to attend all nativity performances. I’m not a single parents, but last year my daughter had no one at one performance and it was fine. In fact, we are only allowed 2 tickets per family so wouldn’t be an option for me to go more than once unless I told her dad he couldn’t go! You could also skip the fair.

as above, just don’t pay the charity donation if you can’t afford it.

it is quite a lot to ask for, but others have given suggestions for how to cut back and you’re saying you want to go to everything so there’s not much else to be done!

I took a stand with my LO primary school and didn't buy the little stuff they'd made.

They send them home anyway - what are they gonna do with personalised stuff your kids have made?

I dont miss primary school one bit fucking charlatans, sorry I know that doesn't help you right now.

Spell all that out and email the school to bring it to their attention. That’s ridiculous.

Is this a private school? I’ve never been charged for choirs, nativity plays, entry to events where you’re going to spend money. Christmas jumper day was £1.

‘Fucking charlatans’ really?!? You know the teachers don’t pocket the money themselves right? It’s put back in to school funds, ideally for something nice like a trip or a treat but possibly for books or pens given the state of school funding.

I know I should probably just attend one of the nativities, I just feel very guilty, their dad isn't involved at all, and there's no other family, just me and the kids, so I try to be there for everything.

With the enterprise stuff, they spend so long designing and making this stuff, it's a massive deal, and my dc are so excited to sell all this stuff they have made.

Again if there was a dad, or grandparents etc it would be more shared out, same as nativities, but it's all on me.

The way the school does stuff is quite guilt trippy imo, and I already feel so much guilt because they have no one else.

It is doable for me, just about, but it's just annoying they do all this crap at this time of year and charge for it after getting the kids so hyped up.

Definitely don't attend all the plays. Where my children went to school, each child could only have 2 tickets each and dh and I obviously liked to go together. So we went to one performance and the other performance the kids did knowing neither of us were there. No harm done.

I do sympathise though. I remember those days. Ours always went to the pantomime each year with school. It was subsidised but you still paid for the coach. Then there was the Christmas fayre and then the Christmas party (not money requested then, but food which added to the grocery bill). We didn't pay for the nativity but they sold photos and videos of the performance which we always felt obliged to buy. Teatowels with the kids' drawings on. Their art work framed... it was never ending.

Tell the school you can't afford it and don't pay.

Not private school, we aren't in a particularly affluent area either.

The school does get some hefty funding from a couple of places so the classes all have an ipad, lots and lots of tech etc, so they aren't struggling, they get tens of thousands in extra funding per year.

Last lot of PTA money that was spent was on the staff room getting done up.

count your blessings you don't live in Ireland, they have a supposedly optional but actually mandatory list of school supplies for each year that runs into several hundred per child.

edit: just randomly found this too: "Your child will require €60.00 to be paid to the Class Teacher or on Aladdin in September (please put in an envelope with your child’s name and class number or pay online via Aladdin) to cover the cost of photocopying, Art & Craft materials, crayons, Aladdin Connect, Bua na Cainte site licence, pencils etc.."