Just got the school Christmas schedule through- how the fuck can I afford all this

[Bloodyschoolchargingforshit]

2 dc in primary school.

£2 contribution each for Xmas jumper day.

£2.50 for each nativity ticket (4 plays total)

Class enterprise, the kids have all made the stuff which is going to cost £9 per child.

Christmas fayre where they give the kids a job, but I have to pay to get in, another fiver.

Both kids in the choir, another £2.50 each (plus another £1.50 per child for a hot chocolate).

That's before the damned raffles and 50p for a colouring competition here and £1 to decorate a bauble for the school tree there.

Apparently the school has won an award for bringing the cost of the school day down, they only got it because all this is 'voluntary' but they do it in such a way I'll feel like a cunt if my kids miss out, they sign the kids up for stuff and expect them to be there for such a short period I can't get home and back, so I would just have to wait outside the school if I don't buy a ticket to get in. Plus I'm a single parent so the only one who can go to this stuff.

That's near £50 in the next 2 weeks, I could honestly cry.

(Not a begging post or anything, just a bloody rant).

If you can't afford it don't pay it.
They can send all the reminders they like.
Things like this have become ridiculous and I know schools are stretched for money and are desperate. But at the same time they must know that many of their children's parents are stretched to the limit.
It should be voluntary and that's the end of it.
Nativity Play: voluntary donation on entry to or exit from the play (that means people could but 50p in if they can't afford 2.50 or nothing if they can't afford anything.
Christmas jumper day: voluntary contribution but everyone gets to wear a jumper if they like (but these Christmas jumper days are a nightmare anyway because many parents can't afford the fucking jumpers).
Christmas fayre: should be free to get in and money is made in some other way or there's voluntary donation
And so on and so forth.

No one can make you feel guilty. You are allowing yourself to feel that. You can decide that you are doing your best and thats good enough. You absolutely do not have to attend all the plays. One each is plenty.I was a single parent to 2 boys for years ( now aged 32 and 30). I had a child with a birthday on Dec 22nd as well. I knew there would be things that had to be budgeted for in December ( including paying for the staff Christmas do that I really didn't want to attend but had to as I was a teacher) so I just put that money aside in the easier months. You've said you can pay for these things so ,honestly, just pay and forget it. Your children will remember some of the things and not remember others. In 5 years time absolutely none of the £2.50 for this and £1.50 for that will matter. As the saying goes " All these things will pass"

Don't donate for the bits where everyone does it - Christmas jumper etc. and be picky about the things you attend. Tell your kids you have work and can't go but hope it goes well. Why do you need to pay for 4 nativity tickets? Just buy your own one.

It’s reasonable for schools and PTAs to try to raise funds, as some parents can easily contribute. If you’re struggling, quietly speak to the school or PTA about support options like pupil premium. Contribute only with what’s necessary—no need for guilt. If possible and you are so inclined, offer your time to help with events instead of financial support...

I would just ignore the reminders. Or contact them and say I can't afford it, please stop contacting me about it. I would also be writing to the school governors about this. It's completely unacceptable to be charging parents this much, and not making it very obvious that those that can't afford it do not haven't pay.

When I was at school, schools did not charge for anything. At all. This creep has been because schools are underfunded, so I would also be writing to my MP about it. It's really not on.

That is not what is being discussed here, teachers, and their unpaid time. Surely the schools should not be putting monetary pressure on parents like this. They should be aware of the fact so many people are struggling as it is. They should not be sending emails informing parents that they have not paid for things like xmas jumper day, etc.

They don't need you there for every performance. Most parents go to one performance.

I think that phrasing is a legal thing. I think everyone expects to pay for school trips, but legally schools can’t demand that anyone pays or exclude any child who hasn’t paid (assuming the trip is educational and not just a jolly). They probably can suck up the cost of one or two kids not paying perhaps, but realistically if no one pays the school would have to pay thousands which they just don’t have, so they’d have to cancel. So they have to put that line in so parents understand that basically, although it’s voluntary, it isn’t really.

I taught for most of my working life. Tickets were only issued so the audience size could be controlled. Two per family, for chosen performance. Extra tickets offered after a certain day that could be given to families who wanted more. There would be a bowl for donations, normally for a charity. The only times people were asked for money was for Mufti Charity Days, usually once a term. Pay £1 not to wear school uniform. But it was never checked on and if the children forget the £1 no requests was made to families. If schools were short of funds then these were usually Cake Bakes and biscuits. One school I worked at asked for a voluntary contribution at the beginning of the school year to pay for art projects. £5. per family. I expect it would be £10 these days. I'm horrified to hear that a school is actually chasing schools for 'donations' because I don't think it is legal to ask for payment.