Morning
I have done something so bad, and I am really beating myself up over it
i’m 43, divorced and a single mum of two teenagers. Last year we moved into a new village and I have made a real effort to get to know people and make new friends. I am really into fitness and have joined a circuit training group. This is also become part of my social life.
last weekend I went on a night out with the people that I train with. There were lots of other people there who I hadn’t met, friends of friends etc at the end of the night some of them came back to my house for more drinks. The kids were staying at their dads so I didn’t have to worry about that.
The guy who runs the circuit training had a couple of friends with him. He is in his early 20s and I assumed that they were around the same age.
To cut a very long story short after a few more drinks and a lot of flirting with one of the guys who was there with the circuit trying to leader, I ended up sleeping with one of them.
This is very very out of character behaviour for me. I’m 43 and I haven’t had a one night stand since I was 20.
So here is the main issue. The guy that I slept with stayed in my bed until the morning. We were chatting the following day and I was explaining that I didn’t normally do this sort of sort of thing etc. He asked my age and complimented me. I asked his… he was 19
I literally felt my legs in go jelly like. I assumed that he was in his early 20s. I know that isn’t much older, however, it just feels different.
I feel really disgusted with myself and can’t stop thinking about what a massive mistake I have made it’s certainly won’t be happening again
I get on well with the circuit training leader and spoke to him about it last night and he told me that I was overthinking it and that I was just having some fun.
I keep thinking that people would take a very dim view of what I have done if I was a man sleeping with a 19-year-old woman
Am I overthinking this?