You never know what people are going through

[Downunderduchess]

This morning I was shopping, I saw a young woman who looked really well groomed & put together, as I passed her I said how glamorous she looked for so early in the morning. She looked surprised and said thanks. I smiled and kept going. About 30 seconds later she found me and said thank you that she really needed to hear that. She looked quite emotional. I told her she was very welcome.

I quite often compliment people I see in public if they have a pretty dress on or their hair looks great etc. I’m so glad I did today especially. A little thing can mean something to someone.

Well exactly

It's not appearance, I'm 67 and hardly drop dead georgous but have had someone following behind me last week to ask what my perfume was, also the lovely summer dress comment from a few weeks ago.

Sometines I feel a percentage of folk on here would find sadness in anything....it's a random act of niceness imo.

You can Google "emdr" you know.
Maybe start your own thread about your particular issues for feedback and not monopolize this one?
(suggesting since you mentioned nd issues, so you might not understand social cues/thread etiquette)

I interact with a lot of people in my job and one of my most favourite things to do is compliment older women on their jewellery. One because it’s genuinely nice and I’d like to say so but also because there’s usually a backstory to the broach/ring/necklace that they like to tell and I enjoy hearing. I’ve heard some beautiful tales. It has turned a brief interaction into something more meaningful and I learn a lot about them. The next time they come in I can ask how their daughter in Australia is because they told me she brought them the earrings over when they visited at Christmas or the like.

God you're miserable.

I actually think some posters must celebrate this type of personality and think they are better than others due to their miserable insular personality.

Just want to say OP, а comment like that would've made my day x

That was a really nice thing to say OP, you sound lovely.

I have had many days where that would have meant so much to me.

This thread is so weird. People compliment each other at random all the time. I'd hate to live in a world where we all assume the worst about innocuous well meant interactions.

That is ridiculous. I might comment on someone’s bag or give them a kind word of we’re in a queue together or pick up something if they drop it. Has nothing to do with whether they are looking great or not.

Maybe you do @Cigarettesandbooze but the OP specifically said it was because the woman was very well groomed and put together and glamorous.

I have experienced being out and about with one or two very glamorous friends and it’s like they live on another planet with people falling over themselves to be nice to them. That’s pretty privilege for you.

I love this OP! You’re so kind. I’m going to be braver and start doing this too. I often think it but am too shy to say. Good for you making someone’s day brighter 💜

I think the ratio of complimented vs upset people would very different. Just because a small number might be upset it's not a reason to stop doing a lovely thing. Kindness makes the world go round, and it's the small acts of kindness that make a big difference.

I suppose it depends on what kind of response you anticipate. I admit to being in the the camp of being slightly awkward with compliments, particularly about appearance. I probably wouldn't beam and say it's made my day. I suppose I don't especially like my appearance being notable at all. So I'd probably say an awkward thanks, and then wonder if I'd offended you with my lack of enthusiasm. So overall a mildly negative interaction, but not offensive.

Also just because it's a woman giving the compliment doesn't mean it's not a come on, surely, so theres that potential awkwardness to navigate too. One of the last real compliments i got was on the beach in Brighton and it was a woman saying I looked amazing and strong swimming in the massive waves. Could have just been a compliment but the way she said it i felt like there was potentially something more behind it, and I didn't know quite what the right response was.

A non- appearance based compliment about how i handled something would be better I think, though rarer from a stranger obviously. Though once when the kids were reading books on a plane, i heard a woman saying to her husband wryly that my family was how she imagined hers would be before she had kids. That was nice, though based on a wildly misrepresentative snapshot!

I think it’s rather sad that some people believe a compliment given to someone by a stranger is somehow an intrusion and possibly not welcome. I suppose it could be a possibility, but I’d hazard a guess that the vast majority of people receiving a compliment will feel pleased. I know I have been - I certainly didn’t view it as an intrusion.

I can see how it’s a very well-meaning gesture on the part of the OP. However - while I wouldn’t dislike a random woman complimenting my appearance it would make me uneasy.

It’s difficult to articulate exactly why though. I think it’s as I really really value my privacy and anonymity. Living in a big city I love the fact I live with millions of people but can go about my day to day business in the midst of all this in anonymity. Someone noticing me and judging my appearance enough to bother paying me a compliment bursts this bubble of anonymity in a way that makes me slightly uneasy. But maybe that’s just me.

Agree!
I often get complimented by strangers and love it! I often compliment other people too.
This miserable people who feel it is ‘intrusive’ must be so unhappy.

You are my kind of people!

a smile, a kind word, a little gesture or let’s get crazy and help someone you see struggling.

I think it should always be natural. We are humans not animals.

Well done op!

That.

they are in the dark side. I prefer the light one!

I think some commenters on here need to realise this too. Sometimes I read some awful replies on here to people genuinely pouring their heart out.

And the traditional
"Love that dress"
"Yes it's got pockets".
Two happy people.

2 women in a changing room commented to my Grandaughter (18)that she looked lovely in the dress she had tried on, she had come out of the changing room to show me. This girl is so convinced she’s fat , ugly and unattractive ( she isn’t)and she was so thrilled at their comments and it meant so much to her! Please don’t stop complimenting other women

I met one of my now closest friends when she complimented some flowers I was holding, I gave them to her and three years later we're still going strong! OP you sound lovely, sounds like she appreciated it

It's a lovely thing to do, I have received compliments from strangers and given them !